Before you go getting excited, let me say we have NOT been matched and we are still waiting, so this is not that update. Trust me, if it were that update, everyone in the world would probably hear me screaming the update through happy tears!
We were recently provided with an update regarding how many times our profile was shown in the first few weeks of going live.
The update included how many times our profile was shown, what stage of the matching process the birth mother is in (i.e. match confirmed by everyone, match proposed to adoptive parents, no decision made by birth mom). We will also be notified if we were in her top few families and obviously we will find out immediately if we are the family she chooses.
We were told to expect an average of 10 showings a month, but so far we far enough below that number that I don’t expect we will reach it. Needless to say, I was hoping our profile would have been shown more. And of the matches confirmed/proposed we did not rank in the top families.
Because my reaction was almost non-existent, I’ve been trying to think about how this all makes me feel. I asked Mr. MPB his thoughts too.
And it turns out, neither of us really seem to care about the update. On some level, I think we were both secretly hoping to be the couple that gets matches within weeks, but clearly that didn’t happen. But, we could still be matched in months and that would be pretty cool too.
I guess it’s good to be known that we are being shown, even if it is less then we ideally want. But, at the same time, it really doesn’t matter how many times we are shown, all that matters is that we are eventually chosen and the match works out.
Right now, we are both comfortable with the fact that our profile book is an accurate reflection of us. I guess if the wait starts to drag on for months and into years we might start to question the book. But for now, it seems that we both don’t see the need to rush out and change it (which is good because changing the book wouldn’t be cheap).
I kind of think if we ever find out we ranked number 2 in one of these updates we will both be super disappointed that we were “beaten” by only one different couple. But at the same time I think we’ll both just realize that it wasn’t meant to be. Whatever put the other couple above us mattered to the birth mom/family and that’s her right. I guess we wont know for sure how we will feel about this until it happens, but at least we are starting to think about the possible emotions so that we can be a bit better prepared should it happen one day.
I guess, the indifference we are both feeling might just be indicative of the fact that we are handling the wait okay. It hasn’t been long enough that either of us are going completely crazy yet, well at least no more crazy then I typically am. I expect this to change at some point. I expect our impatience to grow with time and our frustrations to increase the longer we wait. But for now I’m thankful I have some work to keep my mind occupied.
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