We took a much needed family vacation last weekend.  In fact, we even took a long weekend.  We found an off-season hotel deal and decided to spend some time as a family.  Our hotel room was amazing. We envisioned days of hiking and exploring as a family and adult evenings snuggled up by the fire after Baby MPB went to bed.

Here’s how it actually went down:

• Baby MPB screamed bloody murder through three consecutive nights.  No healthy dose of Tylenol would help.  A bottle did not help.  Snuggles also didn’t help.  This was beyond unpleasant, and something we hope never to repeat.
• We learned all about baby vomit.  Baby MPB puked all over our bed on the second night at about 3am, during one of his ever so pleasant screaming sessions.  Thankfully they had given us a room with two beds, so we just shifted to the other one.
• The next morning Baby MPB was determined to refuse Tylenol and puked it all up all over his last clean sleepsack.  Having never experienced a puking baby before I never thought to bring more then 2 sleepsacks for 3 nights away. Lesson learned.
• As part of the hotel deal I took advantage of the spa (50% off any treatment).  For the last month I had been looking forward to (i.e. dreaming about) my first massage in over 10 years, yet I spent the entire hour just praying to the baby gods to help Baby MPB nap so Mr. MPB doesn’t lose his mind to all the screaming. 
• After my massage I spoke to the hotel to get clean bedding.  They informed me there was a laundry machine in the our room and gave me laundry soap and new bedding.  When I returned to our room, Mr. MPB asked me how my massage was, my response Who cares, I can do laundry – that just made my day, maybe my entire vacation!  I have never been so excited to do laundry (i.e. eradicate the smell of baby vomit) in my life!
• There was 3am talk of drives simply to try to settle Baby MPB.  
• There were also 4am talks of just packing up and driving home.
• After 2 nights in the hotel we found out there was a boil water advisory for the hotel.  No-one bothered to tell us at check-in and no-signs were visible. We were livid as we had all been drinking the water!  We spent the evening steralizing bottles to the soothing sounds of baby screams.  We are still waiting to see if any of us are ill. (Remember we live in Canada were boil water advisories are not a normal occurrences so usually they are taken very seriously).
• Baby MPB cut through a tooth.  One more is still working it’s way through.  Teething has become our nightmare.
• The last morning, when Baby MPB woke up for the day, we simply started backing our bags in our zombie like state.  Not a word was spoken between Mr. MPB and I, we both just knew we were checking out early and driving straight home.  No last day of fun adventures in the mountains for us.  We were done.

After this fun family vacation and our last weekend away to visit friends, we have decided we may never ever again attempt a family vacation.

Oh, in case you were wondering, there were no romantic evening fires.

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