I feel like lately we’ve found our groove as a family of 3 with two working parents.

Asides from the constant sicknesses that inhabit our house, we seem to be functioning well.  I’m not saying it’s perfect, but lately it seems like by far most days are good days.

Most importantly on a daily basis we manage to keep Baby MPB loved, fed, watered and sufficiently played with. Meeting Baby MPB’s basic needs has often felt like the only thing we were doing somewhat successfully.  But what makes right now feel unique is that both Mr. MPB and I are also both managing our clients and projects without too much unnecessary stress.  And, new work is coming in which is keeping us both happily paid and occupied, which is always a good thing.  We even have a dream vacation planned which will be a nice break from the day-to-day stuff.  And, 6 months ago I never thought it would be possible again, but we are even managing to fit in some adult only time.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that right now it feels like all the aspects of our lives are melding together really well.

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Is it weird to say that I keep worrying something is going to go wrong?  I have no idea what could go wrong, but I’m not used to this much goodness.  I know this worry may sound pretty pessimistic, and that’s not my intent.  But, I guess after such a struggle to bring our son into our lives and years of heart ache, it just seems weird to be content today.  And, a small part of me is almost uneasy as I feel like at some point something will go wrong, and I have no ability to predict what is going to go wrong next which makes it very hard to be prepared for it.  I actually caught myself thinking at least when we were going through miscarriages and then the international adoption process, I had a good idea what the next problem would be and I could even start trying to figure out how to deal with it before it was crisis time.  Crazy, right?

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And, while these thoughts creep up from time to time, I am smart enough to know that I cannot let them control me.  I know that I need to push away the negative and completely ungrounded worry when it arises, as nothing good will come from it.  In an attempt to keep living in the moment, I am 110% committed to soaking up each and every good moment.  I know just how lucky we are these days.

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