By nature I am a talker and can at times be an over-sharer.
Heck, I started a blog in which I share very personal details about my life. Yes, I am anonymous, but I don’t know that I always will be. Since the day I started my blog I have always assumed one day I would put my name to my blog. For the record, today is not that day. Even though today is not the day, I still expect one day I will.
So, knowing this, I have always been a bit careful about the details I share here. To begin with, I have always made a point to write about MY perspective, not that of my husbands. I figure if I end up damaging relationships because of my honesty here, that’s on my shoulder’s not his.
But, the second we chose adoption, I became way more careful about what I will share and what I will not share. In fact, I have to be as it is literally illegal for me to advertise our adoption publicly. The laws dictating this were written before the internet, but that doesn’t matter because the law is the law and that’s just the way it is. So, when it comes to our adoption, due to purely legal reasons I’ve been very careful about what I say and I don’t say. And especially now that we have our son in our lives while we wait for the adoption to be finalized, I simply cannot take any risks and so I also will not share his adorable little face. Once the adoption is finalized this law will no longer apply, so then I will be at liberty to discuss a few more things. Like, for example, I have said very little about our time in the USA. This still weighs heavy on my heart and once the adoption is finalized I will be vocal about this. Also, at this moment we are going through a local bureaucratic nightmare which is literally keeping me awake at night as I worry about how the system isn’t set up for and/or respectful of families like ours. Again, this is something I simply cannot risk discussing right now, but fully intend to once the adoption is finalized. The reasons I will share this stuff once the adoption is finalized is that other potential adoptive parents and USA and Canadian citizens have the right to know. But, clearly I will not do so until the time is right.
Also, now that we have our son in our lives, I have become insanely protective about his identity on my blog. Another blogger recently wrote about her perspective on being able to share her own adoption story in her own way, and this is is exactly why I am cautious about my son’s story. I want it to be his choice to share his story in his own way should he ever want to. I want to be respectful of his life start, his life story and his lifelong relationship with his birth mother. Obviously, his story overlaps with my story which I do share on my blog and intend to continue to share. But, the details like his birth, his birth mother’s decisions, his birth father, are all details which are his. In fact, when it comes to these details we also made the choice not to share them with anyone in our real lives. Therefore, I am intentionally vague when it comes to certain parts of his adoption story and I suspect I always will be.
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