This time last year we were heating our house with a fire as my part of the world had a massive snow dump that knocked out power. I’m so not ready for winter!!
But, the point of today’s post is not the weather.
Instead I’m feeling the need to reflect.
It was about a year ago that we began obsessively reading and researching about progesterone after a not so great blood test indicated our first ever possible explanation for 5 consecutive miscarriages. It was about a year ago that we had enough of our local Reproductive Endocrinologist and his advice of just keeping trying, eventually it will work. It was about a year ago that we booked an appointment with an Reproductive Immunologist in the USA.
It was about a year ago that we really started to realized we may never have children the way we innocently assumed we would (i.e. the fertile people way).
It was about a year ago that we reached our breaking point. Something had to change, we couldn’t keep living in a cycle of life and death; highs and lows; excitement and despair.
And so today, as we are actively waiting on an open adoption match, I am amazed to think of how much our lives have changed.
I am amazed to think that we chose adoption. Honestly, part of me is still surprised that we’ve chose adoption and all the potential complications that come along with adoption. If you asked me 2 years ago if we’d adopt, I’d say no way and list off a thousand reasons why adoption isn’t for us (i.e. I cannot imagine involving a birth mom in my life or dealing with the potential adopted child teenage angst, or the unknown potential drug/alcohol exposure, etc.) And yet, here we are excited and hopeful waiting adoptive parents.
Adoption isn’t right for everyone (and I respect that), but I am thankful that it’s right for us.
I am thankful that the possibility of a a birth mom choosing us exists because it means eventually we will become parents.
And more then anything, I am thankful that this year instead of waiting for a baby to die, we are waiting to meet our baby who is also waiting for us (without knowing it).
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