I see things in a very black and white manner.  I rarely see shades of grey, in-fact, I don’t really even like shades of grey.

I am happiest when things are entrenched in fact and the lines are drawn in a clear and objective manner.

Yes or No. 

Allowed or Not. 

Right or Wrong. 

This way or That way. 

Logical or Illogical

Living or Dead.

Possible or Impractical (never Impossible, because anything is possible).  

This characteristic of mine is mostly pretty great in my professional life. (For the record, I’m not an engineer).  But I have to admit, the human element of my work is also what makes things interesting, sometimes fun and sometimes stressful.  Let’s be honest, the world would be pretty darn boring if we were all robots, programmed to do things in a clear and objective manner.  And even if we were programmed that way, due in part to varying income levels, education levels and life experiences, we would all have different definitions of clear and objective, and thus our responses would not be identical.

But I have to admit, it makes my real life a little bit challenging sometimes.  For example, it made our Recurrent Pregnancy Loss / Infertility life rather challenging for me, in large part because I never had concrete facts, rather I just had educated guesses and sometimes bad advice to guide my decision making process. To this day, I struggle with the lack of answers we had, and I hope for the day that medical science is advanced enough to truly support women/couples like me/us.  When it came to the adoption process, my fact based thinking made me struggle with putting my faith into the adoption process and just trusting things would work out.

And now as a parent, I am much more keenly aware that humans, especially children, are not robots.  Children do not always function in right or wrong, good decision or bad decision, etc.  Instead children, especially toddlers, test boundaries and respond emotionally.  Neither of which are are fact based thinking or responses.  And let me tell you, based on my toddler’s ability to function in these illogical grey zones, I am slightly petrified of his teenage yeas.

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