Disappeared
I typically do not say much on my blog about Baby MPB’s birth mother.
Our real life friends and family still like to ask about Baby MPB’s “mom” and I still have to correct them with “birth-mom.” (I feel as though I’m becoming a bit of broken record). However, outside of direct questions (to which I respond, she’s fine and leave it at that), I really don’t typically say much about her in my real-life either. As mentioned before, Mr. MPB firmly believe this is Baby MPB’s story to share one day, when and if he wants to.
But, today I am going to talk about her, of course without details.
She’s disappeared. It’s been over a month since we’ve heard from her. We’ve sent emails with adorable photos and she hasn’t responded. Which is pretty uncharacteristic of her.
For better or worse, I worry about her. She has a special spot in my heart and I know I will always worry about her. I worry about her in the same way I worry about my other family and friends, but yet I probably worry about her more in some ways. This is just a fact of life for me.
And she’s pregnant, which makes me worry even more. Is she okay? Is baby okay? Oh gosh, I really hope baby is okay, because of course my broken body and losses makes me worry about pregnancy in a way that isn’t particularly normal (and possibly not considered healthy, but that’s a conversation for another day).
I have no ability to force her to talk to us. And I’m okay with that – I understand that she likely has many emotions regarding Baby MPB’s adoption and her current pregnancy. While I cannot relate to her experiences, I respect the emotions she is likely dealing with.
But, I also worry that it’s more then that. As long as she has access to internet she always responds. So right now, I worry that she’s hurt, physically. I worry that something has gone horribly wrong and she’s not living in a safe situation. I worry about circumstances even worse that I just don’t want to articulate.
I have no ability to change the silence. And so I am left just hoping that things are okay, that she’s doing fine and that she’s just busy with her life.
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You are so considerate of her feelings , it really touched me reading your blog. I hope she’s okay and that you are worried about nothing. Tc of yourself and baby MPB.
Much love
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Awe thanks. I too hope I’m worrying about nothing. I think the not knowing is what makes it so hard.
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True that. I really hope she replies soon so you dont worry yourself too much. Theres only very little we can do.
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The unknown is the worst (as you know). I hope everything is ok for her and you hear back soon.
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Thank you. The unknown is the absolute worst! ❤
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Prayers she is doing okay and just needed to step back for some unknown reason.
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Thank you. ❤
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This would concern me a great deal too. I hope all is fine… ❤
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Thank you. I so hope all is fine and I’m just overreacting.
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I hope she’s ok too! I imagine she needs to let go of him though. It’s probably not easy seeing pics and updates of a baby you aren’t raising.
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Ugh, I know exactly what you mean. We’re friendly with the mother of our foster boy. She sometimes goes off the radar and each time we worry. We try to mind our business and boundaries but it’s so hard. Hoping she turns up – safe and sound.
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I think I remember this happening before? I hope she resurfaces again soon and all is fine.
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Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Hope all is well and you hear from her soon!
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Prayers for you both. I hope you hear from her soon. She probably loves the updates even if she doesn’t respond.
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Hoping all is well with the birth mom! Big hugs! You are so caring and considerate. People are lucky to have you in their corner! 😘😘
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Do you have the contact details of anyone in her day to day life that you could just check in with? I know it’s sensitive though so tricky even if you do.
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I really hope that she is doing okay! One of the things we talked about in our adoption classes , is that often, it’s the birth parent/s that move away from having contact as time goes on. Sometimes for them to be able to move past things, they need to step back a bit. Idk if that’s the case here, but just wanted to let you know that it could be a possibility. Love to you, my friend!
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I hope she’s ok too! Do you have any contact details from any of her friends or family nearby who you could possibly ask to check in on her? I hope she’ll be in touch soon.
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No unfortunatly we do not. I so wish we did! So for now we just have to wait and hope.
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From what I’ve read from first mothers on adoption forums, she may be dealing with some difficult feelings and just need some time apart for a while. All you can do is keep on reaching out and sending the photos and updates. She may be reading them but not in the best space to respond.
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Even though I wouldn’t want her to be suffering/struggling I realize this is very likely going to occur at some point. So that’s my hope. But honestly, I’m worried and it sucks not knowing if she’s okay.
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I think just keep on reaching out but don’t expect an answer. Sometimes just knowing the offer’s there is a comfort.
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That’s our plan. Every few weeks we will send a note with some pictures, like we normally do. And we won’t push for a response, but we will keep the door open. And hopefully she’s okay.
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Oh no… I would worry too. I hope she’s okay.
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