I typically do not say much on my blog about Baby MPB’s birth mother.
Our real life friends and family still like to ask about Baby MPB’s “mom” and I still have to correct them with “birth-mom.” (I feel as though I’m becoming a bit of broken record). However, outside of direct questions (to which I respond, she’s fine and leave it at that), I really don’t typically say much about her in my real-life either. As mentioned before, Mr. MPB firmly believe this is Baby MPB’s story to share one day, when and if he wants to.
But, today I am going to talk about her, of course without details.
She’s disappeared. It’s been over a month since we’ve heard from her. We’ve sent emails with adorable photos and she hasn’t responded. Which is pretty uncharacteristic of her.
For better or worse, I worry about her. She has a special spot in my heart and I know I will always worry about her. I worry about her in the same way I worry about my other family and friends, but yet I probably worry about her more in some ways. This is just a fact of life for me.
And she’s pregnant, which makes me worry even more. Is she okay? Is baby okay? Oh gosh, I really hope baby is okay, because of course my broken body and losses makes me worry about pregnancy in a way that isn’t particularly normal (and possibly not considered healthy, but that’s a conversation for another day).
I have no ability to force her to talk to us. And I’m okay with that – I understand that she likely has many emotions regarding Baby MPB’s adoption and her current pregnancy. While I cannot relate to her experiences, I respect the emotions she is likely dealing with.
But, I also worry that it’s more then that. As long as she has access to internet she always responds. So right now, I worry that she’s hurt, physically. I worry that something has gone horribly wrong and she’s not living in a safe situation. I worry about circumstances even worse that I just don’t want to articulate.
I have no ability to change the silence. And so I am left just hoping that things are okay, that she’s doing fine and that she’s just busy with her life.
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