Signatures & Mixed Emotions
In mere moments our lives went from exciting to pure fear.
We’ve had no idea if our adoption match was about to fall apart.
We’ve been on pins and needles. I don’t think either one of us have slept much in the last few days.
But, this morning we just got word that our legal team explained everything to the birth father and he signed the paperwork to relinquish his rights. In fact, we are told he was desperate to do so once he understood what the documents meant.
So, I sit here, just finding out the news and I realize I should be elated. But, I’m not. Not really.
I’m surprised by my emotional response to this.
Yes, this is amazing. Well, at least for us. But, with this signature I cannot help but realize that just as badly as we wanted that signature to help us bring our baby home, someone else wanted that signature to ensure the child will not be theirs in the eyes of the law.
As desperately as we want this child, it appears someone else does not.
It breaks my heart. I simply don’t understand how someone does not want a child. I know we are coming at this from a very different perspective, but I cannot help but be sad. Sad for our child and sad for any other child in a similar situation.
We don’t know this child and yet we would move heaven and earth for this child.
And while I am slightly surprised by my mixed emotions, I am also thankful that we are the ones who desperately want this child in our lives. I know, without a doubt, we will always love Baby MPB, no matter what happens.
No-one ever said adoption was easy, and right now, I’m really starting to see some of the complexities in an entirely new way. I am also becoming increasingly aware of how complicated my emotions are going to be while we are the hospital and even in the years to follow as our extended family dynamic evolves.
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