Sharing Our Adoption Match News
I’ve pondered before who we’d tell when we found out about an adoption match. I assumed I’d tell a few friends but not our family. So, now that we are in the situation, I thought I’d share what we are actually doing.
First, we have told a very few select friends. And when I say few, I mean a very few. Like I can count them one hand. And what’s awesome is that in the last few years we’ve really learned who the amazing people are in our lives. And, so with the news of our match, they have once again exceeded our expectations. They have been asking really amazing questions and are giving us a chance to practice answers. Questions we haven’t even thought about, so the practice is nice. And, they have all been respectful, loving and supportive. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
Second, we have shared on my blog. Because my friends throughout the world have given us more support than almost anyone else in our real lives.
Third, we are NOT telling any family. Our families have a history of not being supportive in the way we need. So, we are not going there. In addition we don’t feel like explaining our next steps when we don’t know them. And we don’t feel like having to explain the real chance of a failed adoption to people who don’t get it. Although, I have to say, we both want to tell our families because we are bursting to share the exciting news of a match, but we know better. And so we won’t tell them until the relinquishment papers are signed. Once the paperwork is signed, then we will call our parents and siblings and share the exciting news by introducing them to our child. And if we don’t end up brining baby home, then they will never know.
Our decision making on this subject has been very pragmatic and based in one simple fact – we need support right now. We are surrounding ourselves with those who will be nothing but supportive. And I will not apologise for that, not now and not ever.
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