Tears

This morning I woke up early, alone in a hotel.  (I’m away for one night with work again).

I turned on my phone and saw an email from someone I know, yet have never met. She’s an amazing blogging friend. And her friendship is nothing short of amazing.

Her email was so full of kindness and excitement.

Her excitement about the news of our match was nothing short of contagious.

We’ve told a few other people (a very few other people), and they’ve also been really excited. But for some reason this morning, her words hit me like a tonne of bricks.

As I jumped in the shower to get my day started, I found myself crying. We’ve known about our little one for a few days now, and yet I think today is the first time I really realized what is transpiring. I think I’ve been focusing on the uncertainty and lack of guarantees. But today, I couldn’t help but lean into the excitement and the hope.

I found myself crying because this might just happen. Crying because we have a healthy child who is still growing strong and waiting for us.

Crying because we have a son.

An actual little baby boy.

The child that I have been dreaming about for years, feels like a reality today.

For the first time, I really think we may have a family. We may have a child.

I simply stood there, water flowing over me, with tears running down my cheeks.  I realized I already love this little boy more than I ever knew possible.

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64 Comments on “Tears

  1. A boy!!! That is fabulous and I speak from experience lol!!! You will lose your heart, congrats congrats congrats!!!

    PS, the moment I found out I was finally matched with a baby was when the floodgates opened and 12 years later they haven’t stopped lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yay!!! A baby boy! So excited for you all!!! I’m so glad you’ve built such great relationships through blogging. You are an inspiration to us all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tears! Tears reading this. So wonderfully happy for you. Your little boy has an incredible mamma. I don’t know if you know of a afford ale bulk shipping service since we leave clear across the continent from one another but I have an obscene amount of baby boy clothes (most barely worn) and am happy to send them along if you need/want. We were given a ton of winter stuff (and we live practically on the equator) and have no use for them either…tags on most of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So totally crying right now. The words,” we have a son” hit me hard because I know that feeling…it’s incredible and no words could describe that…friend, I’m so happy for you and thank you for allowing us to share in your joy…

    Liked by 1 person

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