A Bad Day

I had a bad day.  One of those days where no matter what you do, you feel like it’s wrong.  One of those days where you just wish you could crawl into bed and hide under the covers.  One of those days where all the bad stuff just seems to pile one and you find yourself remembering all the other stuff that’s gone wrong in the last few years.  It’s just been one of those days where I desperately wish I could hit a reset button and start over.

Instead, after a long day of work meetings, I’m spending the night in a hotel room.  It’s late, but I wish I just drove the 3 hours back home because right now I just don’t want to be alone.  And sometimes being alone with ones thoughts is not a great place to be.  It’s like the quiet hotel room just gives space for all the thoughts to creep in and to set up residency.

I have tears rolling down my cheeks because all I can do is think of everything that’s wrong. My bad day has turned to missing my mom and sister. Our babies that aren’t here. Our frustrations with adoption. Our lack of family support. And just all of our dreams that seem so far out of reach.

I just hope today ends sooner rather then later.  I’ve had enough.

And to make matters worse, I know that since I’m in a hotel I’m unlikely to sleep well.  And now that I’m stressed and upset, I know I’m very unlikely to get much sleep.

Instead, I’m lying here wishing for the night to pass by so that I can get home tomorrow.  I miss my bed.  I miss my dog.  And mostly right now I miss Mr. MPB.

Maybe tomorrow will be better, but maybe it wont.  All I know for sure is that today is a bad day and I hate bad days.

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53 Comments on “A Bad Day

  1. I’m so very sorry. I know how the days can just be draining and wear you down. I hope today is a better day and that you are Mr MPB can spend some much needed time together soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry. I know how awful yesterday was. But today is a new day, and it’s going to be a better one. At the very least, you’ll be home with Mr. MPB and your dog, and those things alone make it better than yesterday. Xoxo.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry you had a difficult day, and that you had to spend it alone in a hotel room. Hopefully, you’re heading home soon, and can soak up all of the love and cuddles from your dog and Mr. MPB. The holidays are also a tough time in general for bringing up people we love and miss. Sending you love….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes, you need a day like this so you can reset. I hope that’s the case for you. I know what you mean about it ALL flooding you at once.

    Hugs. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hate being away from home too. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day, if only because you are back where you belong. Thinking of you.
    Naomi M

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m not liking this post! I really need to give you my number for days like today…of course I have no idea how much it will cost to call or text but whatever! I’m sorry that you’re having such a rough day. I hope that when you get home that you start to feel better. You can always email me if you need anything!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Days like that suck 😦 I wish that when they came up it was acceptable for us to say “I’m checking out for the day” and everyone would understand and be ok with it. Be kind to yourself. I hope tomorrow is better X

    Liked by 1 person

  8. There’s something about this festive time of year that can be very draining. And being alone with your own thoughts there is no one but you to step in and say ‘enough’. I know what it’s like – you start thinking of one thing and suddenly your brain has opened the box for every other sad thing in your head too. I hope you got some rest and you will feel brighter with the morning light X

    Liked by 1 person

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