Our Weekend Away From Everything

As I mentioned in my #100happydays post yesterday, we took a long weekend road trip. The highlights of the weekend were the Dave Matthews Band concert at the Gorge Amphitheater in Washington and the Going-To-The-Sun Road in Glacier National Park in Montana.

We made a relatively last minute decision to buy concert tickets and drive to Washington State knowing that we’d either dealing with the disappointment of a negative cycle or we’d be 4-5 weeks pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. (We figured doing the drive at 4-5 weeks pregnant wouldn’t be the end of the world, because a miscarriage this early is relatively “easy” – the things I never thought I’d consider easy…).

It turns out we were not pregnant and I took the disappointment really hard (you can read all about that here).

I was really upset that it didn’t work. We’ve never had 4 failed consecutive cycles (yes, we did have a biochemical pregnancy, but I figure if our RE doesn’t count it, then for the sake of counting failed cycles the same way he does, then I will not either). Typically we get pregnant within 2 or 3 months after a loss. So, to hit the 4 mark, was really hard on me.

It turns out I expected that we’d be pregnant by now. In this whole pregnancy/infertility thing, that’s the only part we get right, so when we weren’t again, the fears kind of took over and I really struggled. The fears of not getting pregnant were really strong. I didn’t expect this emotion, or at least not this strongly.

So, the weekend away turned out to be the perfect timing. A completely adult focused weekend away that was exactly what we needed. We had fun, just like we would have before recurrent pregnancy loss took over our lives.

We started drinking at noon, and drank all afternoon and evening.

We consumed way too much alcohol.

We drank way too expensive, yet delicious, margaritas from mini plastic guitars. 

We ate mostly horrible fast-food for four days.

We slept in a tent surrounded by tens of thousands of perfect strangers.

We stayed up way too late.

We were both hung-over the next morning.

We chatted and enjoyed the company of complete strangers.

Our weekend not only reminded us that we need to have fun, but it also helped remind my husband and I about just how much we like each other. We enjoyed our time together, without being focused on everything baby. On top of an afternoon/evening of fun at the actual concert (which was awesome), we also enjoyed our time together while driving. While driving with just the two of us in the car for 2258 km (1403 mi) we had some great conversations. Some of which were about babies and/or adoption. But, many were not. We talked about future big travel plans (Alaska and South Africa are currently high on our list) and we talked his job and what I am going to do eventually. We talked about camping trips we want to plan for next summer. We talked about the difference (or lack there of) between the Rocky Mountains in US and Canada.  We talked about world politics and famous people who took naked photos of themselves and were surprised when they were hacked and stolen.  I sang horribly to bad song, and my husband didn’t kick me out of the car (I guess, that must be a sign of true love?).

Ultimately, while we had an awesome time, I was also able to get over the disappointment of the failed cycle. The weekend helped me refocus on my typical attitude that maybe baby number 6 will be our miracle baby. I am now focusing on hoping that this cycle will be the lucky one, but I also know that I cannot control when we will get pregnant again. So for now rather then worry about things beyond my control,

I will hold onto hope because the future is not yet written.

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28 Comments on “Our Weekend Away From Everything

  1. Sounds like a fab weekend and I like your end quote… Something I needed to be reminded of. If you visit sa and you would like local knowledge… I’ve lived in Durban, Cape Town and johannesburg and would be happy to give some input if desired!

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    • It really was an awesome weekend!
      I don’t think a trip to SA is going to happen anytime time within the next year (at least not until we get pregnant one more time and see what happens), but I’ll keep your offer in mind if we eventually go! Thanks!

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    • The DMB was really awesome – we are both happy we went!
      And, I too appreciate the need to get away and focus on something else – after our 3rd we booked last minute flights to Peru. It was awesome, but it was also bittersweet.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so jelly of you getting to go to DMB concert! They used to come to Atlanta every July but the last two years they never announced any shows. :(. I’m sorry about your cycle but it looks as if you are handling things just fine by keeping busy and spending QT with your hubs! We will have our day soon I hope!

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  3. Sounds like a fantastic weekend!! J and I love road trips…we need to plan another one soon…this year’s to CT didn’t really count because we didn’t really make any extra stops along the way like we usually do. 🙂

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    • We love road trips too – I think you guys should totally plan another one! We always have so much fun together and talk about everything under the sun. I don’t think we have any more road trip plans now for the rest of the year, but who knows maybe we will fit another one in. 🙂

      Like

  4. Sounds like the perfect distraction from the loss, but also a time to remember how important it is for couples to “just be”. I’m so glad you both had such a great time.

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    • It really was both the perfect distraction and a reminder in how important it is to just be. I don’t think we can do it after each failed cycle or miscarriage, but it sure worked well for us this time. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So happy you had an amazing long weekend. It sounds like it was an amazing getaway and exactly what you and your hubby needed! Praying this is THE cycle hon ❤

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  6. “but I also know that I cannot control when we will get pregnant again” – this is what I’m struggling with so much right now! I actually just had an entire therapy session about it. It’s such a hard thing to accept sometimes. I’m so glad you were able to have a fantastic weekend away with the hubby and make some peace with where you are right now. This post is inspiring me to go out and have some fun!!

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    • Definitely go out and have some epic fun – it totally helped me deal with the disappointment of the last cycle. It hit me so hard – it was probably the hardest I’ve taken not getting pregnant.
      And, I am so fearful of not getting pregnant this month, but I’m doing everything I can to push that feeling aside and focus on the fact that I cannot control that. But man, is it hard!

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      • I totally understand why you took this last BFN so hard. I’ve always gotten pregnant on the 3rd cycle, and that was when I had issues like a septum, my thyroid and my husband’s terrible SA. Now that those things are fixed I thought I’d be pregnant in a blink. So every negative totally guts me. So much is about our expectations and past experience. But yeah, really accepting the lack of control is so hard! I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that place!

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