My Favourite Part of Not Working
Tomorrow marks 3 months since I officially resigned from my job.
3 months, since I officially left my career to focus on our family.
3 months, since I admitted to the world that I couldn’t do everything.
Well, 3 months later, we are not pregnant which is starting to drive me crazy and is starting to make me worry about other possible infertility problems (i.e. scar tissue from 2 D&C’s).
And, 3 months later, at times I am rather stressed and lost without my career and its associated daily routine. I make an effort to stay in touch with some colleagues and close friends in industry, and work very hard to keep myself occupied on a regular basis.
But, rather than dwell on some of the negatives associated with not working, I thought today I’d share my favourite thing about not working 60-70+ hours a week in a high stress position with an at times not nice employer.
My absolute favourite thing about not working is my new found relationship with:
Sleep makes me so happy that I’ve thought about trying to take a happy day photo of it, but I honestly don’t know how because it would be so hard to photograph since I would be asleep. Oh, and it probably wouldn’t be a very attractive photo and not really the type of photo I want to use to give away my identity. Anyways, I digress.
For the first time in what feels like years, I am not waking up at 5:30am to be in the office by 6:30am. I am not waking up in the middle of the night having a virtual panic attack over what didn’t get finished the day before when I left after 12 hours at my desk. I am not waking up in the morning worried about what my inter-office politics are going to drive me crazy that day. I am not worried about my utilization rate. I am not worried about winning a new project. I am not worried about hiding a high risk pregnancy. I am not worried about attending an upcoming out of town meeting, while not being allowed to travel outside of the city due to a high risk pregnancy. I am not trying to balance my work commitments with multiple medical appointments, counsellor appointments, miscarriages, narcotic pain medications, surgeries, exploratory procedures, and constant blood work, etc.
More often than not I can now sleep through the night (so long as my husband’s snoring doesn’t wake me up).
More often than not, I no longer set an alarm clock. My body generally wakes me up around 8am. And if for some reason I find myself very tired during the day, I may just have an afternoon nap.
So, if nothing else, my break from work has been worth it because I’ve learned to sleep again.
And, let me tell you, being able to sleep through the night means I am less tired then I was on an almost daily basis when I was working and not sleeping.
I never knew I’d think of sleep as a huge success, but honestly, right now it’s a huge success that will have tremendous payoff in my personal life and hopefully in our next pregnancy.
And, if I’m really lucky, when I do eventually return to professional full-time employment, my ability to sleep will continue as I will have learned to effectively practice stress management techniques and will also know how to lead a more balanced life.
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