The day I met you, I knew I wanted to spend my entire life with you. I got lucky, you returned the sentiment.
We built our lives together. We intertwined ourselves into one complete heart. We transitioned from university to university, city to city, house to house. We overcame lives challenges together. We learned to soar together, as one.
It took you 9 years to propose, but when you did, I said yes. A few months later, we proclaimed our love in front of our closest family and friends on a cold evening, in an outdoor ceremony in the Rocky Mountains. We compromised a lot of our wedding to satisfy family, yet the details were just so us – the wedding cake topper, the location, the intimate venue, the borrowed winter boots. For a girl who never dreamed about her wedding, it really was the perfect day.
When we said our vows, we swore to love each other for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Little did we know, that we would be tested sooner and in a more twisted way then we ever could have imagined. Our love created 5 precious lives. We loved each one, together we thought and hoped that our love would help them live so we could provide them with everything they deserved and more. Together we learned that love alone was not enough. Yet, through all the heartache and grief, we have chosen to continue to love each other. We have chosen to climb this mountain together, and overcome the challenge together. We have chosen to continue to persevere together, because we chose each other each and every single day.
Today, we have grown more together then either of us ever imagined. We are here today, because we love each other. Together we survived the death of our babies, because we chose to commit to each other, and help each other through our darkest times. We chose to focus on our love. We chose to focus on our future together. We chose to overcome together.
And today, I know without a doubt that,
I survived losing each of our babies because you held my hand along the way.
I survived because you held me as I cried.
I survived because you literally encouraged me to.
I survived because you found ways to make me laugh at times when I thought laughter was forever gone.
I survived because you held my hand and waited at my side through everything.
I survived because you showed me the light when the world appeared dark.
I survived for you.
I survived because of you.
I know today that if we can survive all of this, we can survive anything. We have learned the hard way that the deepest of love cannot literally sustain life. But we have also learned and proved that so long as we continue to choose to love each other, and choose to have the hard conversations together, our love will overcome the hurdles.
Today I know that my heart beats every day because of you. My heart beats every day for you.
My soul sings every day because of you. My soul sing every day for you.
You are my love, you are my life.
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We are Canadian. We have chosen to proceed with an international adoption. Although, not an international country that most people expect, as we are adopting from the USA, our next door neighbour.
One thing we were told early on is that if we chose to a domestic adoption, the local agency runs you through the whole process as they coordinate the entire adoption process. However, by choosing international adoption, we are pretty much on our own to navigate the two laws in the two countries. Our domestic agency will do the home study, and can answer some questions about the dual process. Our USA agency should also be able to answer some questions. However we will have to navigate the waters ourselves to help align the two process and prevent any unnecessary delays or accidentally do something that would be considered illegal.
So, what this all means is that one of the disadvantages of doing an international adoption is that while we spend a whole shwack of money, no-one will navigate the adoption waters for us. We have to be strong advocates for ourselves and attempt to see the sunshine through the weeds.
What I have figured out so far is that we have to get provincial approval to proceed with a home study for our international adoption from the USA before we can do anything anywhere. As I mentioned yesterday, we now have that – yay, us! That said, on the approval form there is a little note that implies that no activities in the USA can occur until the home study is done. This is weird to me, because the initial form we submitted to the province actually required us to state the agency we plan to use in the USA. So, how is it that we have to state the agency we are going to use, and yet we aren’t allowed to start working with them to get some basic things initiated?
And to complicate things further, USA agencies often temporarily close their intake of Canadian applicants when their waiting times start to creep to high. So, to get a spot, we need to submit our formal USA application and accompanying fee. This would essentially hold our spot until the home study is done and our dossier is sent to the agency. So, how is it that we have to specify who we are working with in the USA and yet we cannot actually start working with them until our home study is approved which means we cannot secure our spot on their official list just in case they shut their doors? We have to say we are working with them, yet we cannot guarantee we will be able to work with them if we don’t submit the application and fee. Clearly, I’m confused and upon re-reading this, I suspect it is quite possible that you too are now confused.
Mr. MPB and I really don’t want to break the law, even unintentionally. We are pretty big fans of being law abiding citizens. And a screw up on the adoption front could be pretty catastrophic to our entire plan to adopt and have children.
But worry not, I have some good news. After being confused for a few weeks, I finally figured it out!!
The powers that be have indicated that we are allowed to submit our initial application to the USA agencies and secure our spot ASAP. However, no other work can commence until our dossier is sent to the agency in the USA. So, the goal for this week is to finish the application and get it in before the New Year. Which of course means that we still are not free of all the paperwork, but since we are 90% completed out USA adoption application, we are getting closer!
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My Perfect Breakdown 