It’s interesting that surgery’s can be considered routine. In my mind, a routine surgery is one that is scheduled in advance to fix a problem using a standard procedure that the doctors are trained to do.
Because they are routine in nature, they shouldn’t be scary.
Yet, when the patient is my last living parent, I find it rather scary.
A routine surgery isn’t scary like a surgery to remove a cancerous tumor, where the results could literally be a death sentence (I had to sit by the bedside for that a few years ago, which was horribly scary, and I will forever be thankful the doctor was able to come out of the operating room and say “we got it all”).
This one is scary, but more like – holy sh*!, I like having my Dad around, this had better go well. You see, this surgery has nothing to do with cancer, it’s just fixing a problem in a joint. But, I cannot help but think about the fact that my Dad is not getting younger. There is something unsettling about being put under general anesthetic so that a trained professional can cut through your skin and re-arrange your insides. Plus, there are always risks and those risks make surgery scary.
.
But, you see, the surgery was scheduled to start a few hours ago, and I still haven’t heard anything. But I also have no idea how long the surgery is actually supposed to last – maybe it’s a 4 hour surgery, or even longer? I failed to ask this question, so I have no concept of time. Or maybe the surgery didn’t start on time? And I don’t want to be annoyingly calling my step-mom asking for an update, when I know full-well, she’ll call me when she knows something.
So, for now, I’ll keep waiting. I’ll keep staring at my computer. I’ll keep pretending to work.
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It’s been a while, so I think it’s time for another Doodle MPB update.
Much to my surprise, after truly hitting my breaking point last month, she is still part of our family.
The biggest change has been that I’ve backed off on being the only adult in our house who is caring for Doodle MPB. In fact, I’ve refused to keep doing solo walks with her, which is probably the biggest/only change. (I still coordinate training sessions, vet appointments, prescription refills, but I generally do all that type of stuff for our household, so it’s not unexpected).
But, Mr. MPB has finally stepped up to work with her a bit more. Honestly, I laid it all on the line for him because he wanted to keep her, and I wanted her gone. I told him, he wasn’t doing anything to care for her, so it was my turn to do nothing. I also told him that while he may choose to play with Little MPB rather then take the dog out for walks, it means that every single day I’m going for a walk while the two of them play. Which means, every single day for almost an hour, I spend that time hating the dog and hating him, which is clearly not good for our family or our marriage. Needless to say, he didn’t like hearing that, and he suggested trying family walks.
Which means one of our biggest changes is that 4-5 days a week, as a family, we go for a ‘hike with Doodle MPB’ (to quote Little MPB). One adult keeps a close eye on Doodle MPB, the other adult keeps a close eye on Little MPB. We have a few different off-leash areas that are not busy (I will not take my toddler to a busy off leash area with multiple dogs I don’t know). This allow Doodle MPB the freedom she needs to run and Little MPB loves playing outside. Doodle MPB does knock Little MPB over from time to time, and he cries, but he’s not actually hurt and he gets up and continues running around with her.
Mr. MPB is also helping a bit more with training. And even asked that I schedule her next ttouch session for when he’ll be home so he can learn too.
Even though she is a high energy dog, I’ve backed off on demanding that she gets a walk every day, and try to realize that walks aren’t going to happen some days.
So, it’s a work in progress. She’s still on a high dose of clomicalm, which our vet wants to try weaning her off, and I’m not ready to (at least not until after the busy holidays). She still barks/whines when she doesn’t get what she wants, which is unbelievably annoying to both Mr. MPB and I. But, there just doesn’t seem to be a good way to “fix” that problem. She still thinks she’s part human and part kangaroo, which is less then desirable especially now that she’s mastered turning on our stove, but I do think/hope with more training and age she’ll get better at keeping 4 paws on the ground.
And to make matters worse, her and I were attacked by a dog at the dog park on the weekend. This pisses me off to no-end, because we were at what is considered a quiet and safe dog park. And yet, there was a loose dog with no-owner around. The loose dog already had blood on it’s fur presumably from another dog encounter. Doodle MPB, who I truly don’t believe has a mean/aggressive bone in her body, tried to hide behind me, which put me in the line of the loose dog. Thankfully, after being cornered by the loose dog, someone was able to come to my aid and get the loose dog on a leash. Neither Doodle MPB or I were hurt, but I did end up calling the city and having to put in a police report. So, while there is no physical injuries to either myself of Doodle MPB, I am very nervous of long term psychological impacts of Doodle MPB. She was really good with other dogs, but now I’m not so sure and only time will tell.
Honestly I am still not confident that we can make this work. Getting a puppy with a 2 year old was a huge mistake, I still believe it’s the biggest mistakes of my life (I’m not kidding and/or exaggerating).
But, I do know I want my son to be raised with a dog and at this point we’ve put so much effort into Doodle MPB, that I kind of just hope we can survive until she’s 2. Because at 2 she’ll just be a neurotic, unbalanced, crazy dog, which has to be better then a neurotic, unbalanced, crazy puppy.
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My Perfect Breakdown 