Another Dog Update, One I Never Thought I’d Write
So, our dog trainer fired us. Apparently she gave up on our dog and us? Honestly, I was about to politely part ways with her anyways, so I shouldn’t be mad. But, I am absolutely pissed! I’m pissed that we’ve literally given our trainer thousands of dollars to help our dog and she just walked away from us. For context, here’s what happened – she told me we need to do more training sessions with Doodle MPB, and I said no, not yet, maybe in a few months when we have Doodle MPB in a place where she can actually use her brain through a combination of medication and TTouch. I told her once we have her more able to think, hopefully in a few months, we will absolutely start training sessions with her again. Her response was to tell me via text a few days later that she will not spend any more time walking Doodle MPB if we wont start weekly training sessions. Of course, she said this AFTER she charged us $600 for 5 days of boarding (which we were LIVID about as her rates online are $50 per night for boarding). Anyways, it sure feels like now that I wont throw money her way for additional training without addressing the underlying issues, she cut and run.
Unfortunately, this effectively means that we no longer have a dog walker to help us out one day a week – these walks gave us a day-off from trying to fit walks into our busy life and also gave Doodle MPB the opportunity to socialize with other dogs. So, now, in my non-existent free time, I need to find another dog-walker or find a doggy daycare, something to help burn some of Doodle MPB’s energy.
But in good news, we really like the other trainer we called a few weeks ago, who is working with Doodle MPB for free on TTouch. So, we have a different trainer to help us, which agrees with my approach that we need to help Doodle MPB think before we can work on basic obedience training. In fact, she maintains once we can get Doodle MPB thinking, we probably wont need to do anymore training because Doodle MPB knows all of the basic training, she just cannot hold a down or a sit for more then 2-3 seconds, because she cannot think long enough to sit still. So the actual training side of things doesn’t worry me at all.
And then, by random chance the day after we were fired, we had an appointment with our vet to review the Clomicalm dose. The current dose is not working, and in fact has not done anything to help Doodle MPB. So, next up we are upping her dose of Clomicalm and our Vet will be speaking with a Veterinarian Behaviorist located on the other side of the country. We suspect the Veterinarian Behaviorist will likely try a different combination of medications then our vet is comfortable with on her own, as she’s never experienced a dog quite like Doodle MPB. More $$$ down the drain, but we all agreed this as an appropriate next step. The other thing our vet told us, is that it may be time to start trying to find Doodle MPB a farm with another dog around to call her forever home.
So, we are back to the idea that Doodle MPB may need a different home that allows her to run all day long to burn some energy. But the reality is, a farm wont solve her problems, as she is high energy and is absolutely, completely desperate to be with her people all the time and she her lack of confidence means she’s also very anxious. Sending her to live outside, won’t help her anxious tendencies, in fact, it may only make things worse for her.
And so, I’ve reach out to a friend mentioned a few weeks ago that they know someone who is looking for a second Doodle to join their family. We will be meeting with them to discuss the possibility of re-homing her with them as being with another dog may be all the therapy Doodle MPB needs, and is not something we can do. Unless it’s a near perfect fit, we will not re-home her as I will not set her up to be moved again in the future. And truthfully, even though I fully acknowledge she is causing an insane amount of stress in our lives, I’m really not sure that I will be able to give up on her. And if we go through with it, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for giving up on her.
I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I write this. This is simply not the outcome I had ever envisioned.
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I hope that the behavior specialist can help with her meds. But if the re-homing situation does work I hope that you don’t look at it as ‘giving up on her’ because you aren’t. You have done so much more than most people would have, and re-homing her would only happen if it is the absolute best choice for her. You would be giving her a new life. Not giving up on her.
You are an amazing person. I hope you believe that.
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You definitely aren’t giving up on her. As the previous poster mentioned you have done more and gone further than most people would. Shelters are full of dogs that people have given up on and likely many of them don’t have the behavioural problems your doddle has.
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Oh MPB, I’m sorry you’re even having to consider this. I k ow how fast our fur babies make an imprint on our hearts. Sending you love and hoping the vet can find a way to help so you can keep her.
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It’s ok to cry, but not because you’ve failed this dog in ANY way. You have done literally everything humanly possible to help this dog live a normal life. You know how much I love my dogs, and there is absolutely zero chance I would have gone to the lengths you did for doodle mpb. This whole situation sucks, and I’m so sorry it’s caused you so much pain. You know I support you 100% no matter what happens from here on out and I’m here to talk if you need to.
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I know Doodle MPB is unique, but I have had some really challenging rescue dogs who benefited IMMENSELY from having a mature dog sibling to follow around. It’s true that having a companion and some room to run is something you should explore and may be really beneficial. If that worked out, it would NOT be a failure, but a success.
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I agree with the previous comments! We had to rehome a dog, and I felt like the worst person in the world at the time, but looking back I know it was the right thing to do. I’m pretty sure everyone, including the dog, is happier and healthier. We did put a lot of effort into finding the right home, which made me feel a lot better about it, and I think he’s happier living with a retired couple who spoil him to death.
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I was waiting for this post after I saw your instagram post the other day. It is ok to be upset and to cry. Despite the stress that doodle MPB has put on your life, you still love her and she has been part of your family. You aren’t failing her and I hope you never, ever think that you have. You have put so much work into her, you have exhausted almost every option available to you and that is much, much more than a lot of people have done with their dogs. You have had some good moments in the mix of the chaos and of course that is what is going to hurt your heart the most. I was thinking recently about how she might do better with another dog guiding her but I didn’t want to suggest you guys get another dog simply to just try to see if it works. So re-homing her with a family who already has a dog could be the right fit. Have you guys discussed what you will do if she doesn’t work after a little while with that family?
I just wanted to put it out there one last time for consideration, but have you thought any further about the trainer that we used for our dog that is very close to where you live? If there is anyone who I know who can break through to a dog of any kind and won’t give up, it’s him.
Big hugs to you. You’re doing really well and I truly hope know that 🙂
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It’s so important to be kind to yourself – you have done more than most would. But the reality is that not all dogs are right for all homes. And the very best thing you can do for her is either find something that works (like you’ve been trying to do for months) or find somewhere that works. Sending you so many hugs! It is so hard to make a choice like this – but remember, her behaviours are a sign of unhappiness. You’re not happy, she’s not happy. So if this rehoming seems like a good fit – do it. It’s better for all of your if you’re happy and apart, than miserable/stressed and together. Sending lots of love! You’ve gone above and beyond for her and she is so lucky to have you!
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Living outside with freedom to run is truly not worst case scenario for a dog. If you think about it, dogs were originally built for outdoor living (of course, severe weather would be an obvious concern, although most farms have barns) Especially for a high energy dog, living in a house is like living in a prison. And having another dog to play with is awesome! If this is a working farm, most farmers spend the greater part of the day outside, so she would still have access to her humans all day.
I don’t know what is best for her or your family, but if she ends up going to live at the farm, I believe you will have in no way whatsoever wronged her. She may end up being a much happier dog just being free to run and not having to remember rules. We used to have a wolf mix and that dog wanted no part of indoor living. She wanted to come inside for a bit at a time but wasn’t remotely interested in the closed in environment for long periods. And she did so much better with her energy needs when she was working (we would take her for walks with her carrying a backpack which she LOVED) and having our other dog to play and roughhouse with in ways that us humans just couldn’t play with her. Doodle may be like that dog was and just need so much room and freedom.
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Oh I’m so sorry. You have tried so hard! I know you will work hard to find her the right home if that’s what it takes. If an environment with more space and another dog is what it takes then that is actually the best thing for her and is the opposite of giving up on her. It’s fighting for her and what she needs. Remember that. ❤️
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I’m sorry! I’m in a similar boat with one of my beloved cats and every time I think about re-homing him i want to cry. ❤
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This had been very challenging for all of you and I’m sorry there are still more issues, especially the POS trainer who has charged you exorbitant fees. There is a chance her behavior is crazy, like doggy adhd, due to an adverse reaction to vaccines. Please consider detoxing her, probiotics for gut health, and CBD oil. Vaccines are not infallible and the amount given to a puppy is the same given to a full grown mastif. Rehoming her won’t solve her problems, but might give you a lot of relief.
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You’re doing the absolute best you can. Hugs from NYC.
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MPB, why is it that Veterinarians and training specialists are saying “Another environment could be a better fit for doodle MPB”, and you are beating yourself up saying “I feel awful for giving up on her”. Giving her a new home that may be a better fit is not giving up on her!
And I’m going to go there–do you think that little MPB’s birth mom was “giving up on” little MPB when she chose to place him in your home?? No, of course not! She was simply trying to give him what was best for him. And maybe, you are meant to do the same. XOXO
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Oh Hun, so sorry that you have to even consider the option if rehoming but never ever think you gave up on her! You have tried so hard! Being with another dog may be just what she needs and that is something you can’t provide while taking care of little MPB.
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How stressful. I’m so sorry this is still and ongoing issue. You have put in a great effort
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Sorry, pressed send too soon. You have put in a great effort and I commend you for knowing your limits. Wishing you all the best, whichever way this goes.
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