Returning To Life As Normal
This last week has been one of the hardest and also most insanely bizarre weeks of my life thus far. In some ways it’s like I’m living in a 1990s (horrible) made for tv drama.
I am not going into details about what is going on, so I will just say that it is not resolved and it may go on for weeks or months. Or, if I’m lucky, it may vanish from my reality as quickly as it started.
But, I also realize that I cannot continue to obsess about it. Given that I am not in control of the situation, I have to figure out a way to live with it for however long it may impact me. Basically, I have to figure out a way to live with this in the background, rather then in the foreground impacting my every single move.
And so, starting this weekend, I decided that I will go back to life as normal. I have a basic plan:
First, I went to Dairy Queen. Rather then buying a blizzards as planned, I bought this ice cream cake. It seemed fitting to my plan to get back on track. And sometimes, a happy day cake is just what is needed.
Second, we went back to the vet with the intent of seriously determining if their is something neurologically wrong with Doodle MPB. We were at our final straw. Our vet directed us to immediately buy a citronella bark collar as the training is simply not working fast enough. And so we did, and we promptly put it on her. We have now had 1.5 days of almost normal dog barking. I have no idea how to eventually wean the dog off of the bark collar, but at this moment I don’t care. I can hear myself think for the first time in weeks which will undoubtedly help me feel more grounded and sane.
Third, I will get back into working like a normal functioning adult. I have literally done zero work this last week. That has to change because our bills still need to be paid. I will re-focus because I simply have no choice. And to help with this, I am scheduled to be on the road with work this week, so I literally have no choice but to work.
Fourth, I will get back to writing. Writing helps me make sense of my life. But oddly, I cannot write about what’s happening right now (one day I promise I will, but right now I simply cannot). But, I will still write about other things, such as Infertility Awareness Week and what can only be describe as my newest obsession with paw patrol cruisers. I write for many reasons, but right now have to remind myself that writing is too important to my mental health to stop, so I need to get back into it.
Fifth, I will spend as much time as possible with Little MPB and Mr. MPB. Focusing on the bad has been taking away my quality time with these two, and that’s just not an option.
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