A New Perspective

Being a new parent has offered me a new perspective on the world.

Simple things like:

  • Safety in our home – are their cords that baby MPB could reach and accidentally strangle himself on?
  • Putting myself and my husband second – Baby MPB gets what he needs before we do, just look at us at dinner time for evidence of this.
  • Making sure Baby MPB has the right toys and enough toys for his current developmental stage.
  • Dog and baby interactions.  They seem to be happening more now, how do we make sure they continue to be safe together?

But also big things:

  • SIDS – Baby MPB will no longer sleep on his back.  He is 100% about sleeping on his stomach.  No matter how many times we roll him onto his back he goes straight to his stomach now.  Our doctors have told it’s okay now that he’s choosing to sleep this way.  But, after months of being told back is best it’s hard to just accept that the risk of SIDS has decreased and to stop worrying.
  • Recently a little chils was kidnapped and tragucally killed near our town.  We’ve all heard of these types of horrible stories and most of us are heartbroken when they occur.  But, now that I have a child of my own, I literally feel this in an entirely new way.  I simply cannot imagine the hurt and anguish that the family of that sweet little girl is experience.  I cannot fathom the idea of not knowing where Baby MPB is, or how he is doing.  I simply cannot.  Even though I realize statistically speaking the chances of kidnappings occurring is relatively slim, my mind doesn’t accept this rational thinking.  Instead, I find myself with literal tears in my eyes when I see the news updates.  I find myself holding Baby MPB tighter.  I find myself double and triple checking that our doors are locked at night.  I find myself watching the monitor more frequently.  I even tell the dog to make sure she keeps watch, as if she can understand me.
  • My perception of race relations is entirely changed.  I’ve touched on this before, our family may be a transracial adoptive family (it still seems weird to say may) and yet we live in a very Caucasian area with relatively little racial diversity.  But, the news of the tragic loss of lives in the USA is not something that can be ignored.  I am still wrapping my mind around all of this, and am struggling to find the right words.

Everyone always told me once you become a parent your life changes forever. And for me, this happened with my very first pregnancy – I obsessed about what I could eat and what I could, what I could do and what I couldn’t.  And at that time I also learned that no matter how hard I try as a parent I cannot also make a difference.

Yet now, parenting our only living child, I have an entirelly new perspective.  Part of it I expected, part of it I didn’t.  And honestly, while I worry obsessively at times, I also find that I am able to let go of some of that worry – I’m thankful for the parenting lessons that my miscarriages taught me – I’m thankful that I can remind myself to let go and just enjoy. I’m thankful I understand the importance of an extra hug/snuggle. And, I’m also beyond thankful that I have the opportunity to worry about this living little boy and that opportunity is something I am determined to never take for granted.  

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6 Comments on “A New Perspective

  1. Oh the worries! It never ends right? And Luke is the same way about sleeping. Only wants to be on his tummy or side and you’re right! “Back is best” has been engrained in is for so long it feels like we are breaking a law if they sleep on their tummies (despite the fact my mom repeatedly tells me all three of her children slept on tummies since day 1). I too shudder at tragic stories involving the loss of a child (we’ve been there and can relate right?) and am saddened that our babies are growing up on a time where there is tragedy both in their home country and in the world. If I can teach Luke to be a good person I will feel like I’ve succeeded. You’re doing a great job with baby MPB and I love at the end of the day you continue to remind yourself how thankful you are for your new perspective!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Baby O has started flipping over onto her tummy for her naps as well. We have a tiny house and so made the decision of no baby monitor. Since this tummy sleeping business I find I’m checking on her more often!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I worry all the time already, and this little girl isn’t even born yet…I can only imagine how much I will worry about things once she gets here!! I’m completely appalled at the state of the world right now, and question whether it as right to work so hard to conceive this child only to bring her into a world so broken as this one right now. I worry about when I should baby-proof this house…just do it now so it’s done, or wait until she’s mobile? So many things…I guess we can only do our very best to make their lives happy and safe. You’re doing a fabulous job, btw!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hear you about babies on their tummies. I always check a little more often once they start flipping over on their own! I’m happy that you’re able to let go of the worry a little bit though to enjoy. I know it can be overwhelming how much you want to protect them.

    Liked by 1 person

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