For the last few years I have always sent out Christmas cards to family and friends. I write a handwritten note in each card, usually personal in nature. Something a little more then just wishing your family a wonderful holidays.
This year is different.
This year, I have the cards but they are sitting untouched. And I might just not send them.
At first I thought maybe I was avoiding them because I’m so jaded about Christmas this year after my Dad’s Christmas email. But then, I realize that’s not really it.
As far as the cards go, I have absolutely no idea what to say in them.
We never did any sort of adoption announcement. We told our close friends and family, and just assumed that word would travel to the more distant relations.
So to those we never personally told I have no idea what to write. And to those we did, I also have no idea what to say. Do I say, we are waiting for our adoption? Do I say adoption after loss can be excruciatingly painful? Do I say that we are hoping 2016 will bring us our family? Or do I just not say anything about our adoption hope and stick to a standard wishing your family a wonderful holidays.
Some how, none of these options feel quite right. Most people just don’t understand adoption and writing about it without the opportunity to explain just doesn’t seem like a good idea. And ignoring it also doesn’t seem right, because I don’t think I should have to ignore such a significant part of our lives.
And so this year, I think I will skip sending them. I’ll just chalk it up to lazy and busy with work, even though I know in my heart it’s a tad bit more complicated then that.
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