Another Adoption Twist
An important part of our adoption journey in the USA has been to choose a lawyer.
One of the biggest differences between adoption in Canada and the USA seems to be the involvement of lawyers. In Canada, social workers do almost everything, with a few lawyers just signing off on the final paperwork and processing the legal stuff through the court system. In the USA, lawyers actually match birth mothers/families and adoptive parents, oversee the majority of the process and deal with the court systems. This difference is the main reason’s adopting in the USA is substantially more expensive – essentially Canadian social workers do not charge nearly the same amount as lawyers in Canada or in the USA.
So far, we really like our lawyer. In fact, right now we adore the entire team at the lawyer’s office. And the USA agency that has caused us countless hours of frustration is no longer our main point of contact. Needless to say, after managing the convoluted international adoption process, we are both rather excited to not have to deal with them as frequently.
And at the same time we are basically free of our local agency. While we like our agency, right now they just aren’t involved. Until a match occurs, we are basically on our own. And our focus is simply on helping our legal team find the best match for us – which for us probably means staying out of their hair and trying not to bug them too much with requests for updates.
Needless to say our three favourite things right now are that we:
- Like our lawyer.
- Are dealing less with a seemingly disorganized adoption agency in the USA.
- No longer working through our local approval processes as we are approved.
Now that we have our lawyer chosen, we have had one significant surprise. When we first chose the USA, we were under the impression that we would be adopting from one specific state. Now that we selected our lawyer, this is no longer the case. We will be adopting through the legal system of our specific state, but we could be placed with a baby in any state!
In actuality, this really doesn’t change too much, yet it seems like it changes a lot. Legally, nothing will be different. But, now we have absolutely no idea where in the USA our baby is coming from!! And, the adoption process is a bit more complicated – we will now fly to the state our baby is born in first. Once the baby is released from the hospital we then go to the state of the actual adoption until it is finalized. Then we return to home to Canada. While it’s not the end of the world, and really doesn’t matter much in the scheme of life, it will increase our costs some more to travel so much and I am a bit disappointed that our child my not come from our chosen state.
I had envisioned future family visits with our birth family being in a specific state which also offered plenty of fun amenities for our family to enjoy while we were there. Sort of back-up plan if the birth-family visit didn’t go perfectly because we would spend the next day doing something super fun. Now, that might not happen. I know my concern over this might sound trivial and slightly silly. And in the scheme of life it’s not a big deal, but I really loved the idea of meeting the birth family and going to visit one of the happiest places on earth in the same trip – sort like a way to ensure our children have happy memories.
That said, I’m now hoping for Hawaii in the middle of the winter because I could use a trip to Hawaii ideally during the Canadian winter! But, something tells me we are going to end up in Bismarck, North Dakota in February (nothing against Bismarck, I was just hoping for a warm winter break).
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