Good Days, Bad Days & Days Like Today
Everyone has good days and bad days. Some times the good lasts for days on end, and unfortunately so do the bad.
Infertility and miscarriage seems to exaggerate the good and the bad. For me, the highs have been higher and the lows, so much lower. Lower then I could ever have imagined. Some times the emotional rollarcoster has bipolar in the extremes.
And then there are days like today. Today is neither good or bad. Today is just today. I do not feel pulled to either extreme. Instead I feel calm and peaceful. I just am.
Today, I can acknowledge that we’ve made it through everything. Through all of it, here I am living and breathing.
While I am not quite ready to shout from the roof tops that I have made it, that I have survived. I am ready to acknowledge that I suspect my future will include more good days then bad.
Today, I am not feeling particularly good or bad, instead I am feeling balanced.
I am full of the optimism that comes with the changing season. Just as spring is bringing new life, I feel rejuvenated.
I feel full of hope. I feel light and energetic.
I am remembering to breath without effort.
In fact, I feel ready to conquer whatever comes at me next.
I am ready to move beyond the grief and sadness that has lived in our hearts for too long. Part of me is ready to let go and fully embrace the unknown possibilities of the future.
I am realistic, and I know that bad days will still occur. This of course means means the lows will still be part of my life. But, I also realize that we will survive the lows and make it through to the other side. I am resilient. I realize that while our losses will always be part of my very being, they will not define my today or my tomorrows unless I let them. And I will be choosing to let life and love define my existence, not loss.
Honestly, today I feel the peace and calm that comes along with knowing that I will be okay. And so for today, I will enjoy.
I want to bottle this feeling.
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