I’m honored to be nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award, by K at My Ectopic: A Pregnancy Experience. Thank you very much for my first nomination! I adore K’s writing, as she is both honest and beautiful as she shares herself and experiences.
Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award recognizes the unique voices of women bloggers around the world.
To accept this award, here are the rules:
- Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
- Put the award logo on your blog.
- Answer the ten questions they have set you.
- Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer. Nominate ten people.
Answers to the K’s Questions
1. What is the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
I went skydiving when I was 18. I willingly got in a cage with a full grown tiger when I was 28. I literally just noticed the trend in the 8 number. I’m not sure how I will celebrate 38, but I am sure it will be epic.
2. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Time travel. Maybe? Or maybe flying?
I’ve always struggled with this question. I never felt it was grounded in reality, because it’s impossible to actually have a superpower. Batman, Superman and Spiderman don’t actually exist.
3. Do you have any fur babies?
I amazing dog. She’s a rescue, from an agency that works with feral dogs on first nation reserves. She was found at about a four weeks old, and then lived with a foster home until we found each other when she was 9 weeks. We thought she’d grow to be about 50lbs, but she kept on going and is now a healthy 82lbs. She sheds constantly and it drives my husband crazy because our house is constantly covered in black fur.
4. What was the last book you read?
The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan. Good book. It is a collection of short stories, so it’s very different style of book for me. But, the story of Marina herself drew me to the book, and I’ve enjoyed reading it. I wouldn’t say it’s the best book ever, but nor is it the worst. If I were into rating books, I’d give it a solid B+.
5. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned through blogging?
That no matter how alone I might feel as we are going through Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, someone else out there, somewhere in the world, is likely feeling very similar to me. Even though I am yet to meet a single person from the RPL/IF community in real life, I feel as though I have found a community who understands the emotional rollercoaster we are on, and I love the comradery and support that the group offers.
6. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A lawyer. I am not a lawyer. I chose a different field, spent nearly 7 years in post-secondary education to achieve entrance into the profession, and then 8 years working in it. And now it turns out I don’t love it. Some might even say I despise it. I’m now on a search to figure out what it is I am going to do with my life. Any suggestions?
7. Are you a morning person?
When I was working full time, I was always at my desk and working by 6:30am (the office was quite until about 8am, so I could get stuff done). Now, I don’t set an alarm, and I usually wake up around 8am. I still tend to like mornings and am known to be annoyingly cheerful in the morning, but I much prefer that morning now start at a more respectable time.
8. Name one positive thing you do to lift your spirits?
Go for a walk with Sadie and my husband. There is something about the fresh air that just makes me feel better and lifts my spirits.
Or, grabbing my camera, and forcing myself to go find something happy. Even if it’s something extraordinarily small, the act in itself helps me to refocus my thoughts. And, usually I end up finding multiple happy things, which clearly lift my spirits.
9. Is there a word that irks you? What is it?
The work irk actually irks my husband – it drives him crazy! As for me, I cannot think of anything off the top of my head. I despise spelling definitely – for whatever reason I spell it wrong every single time and have for my entire life. For some reason, I believe that the l should come before the e, as in definitley. Thankfully my computer is smart enough to correct it for me. Although, to be fair, the word doesn’t actually irk me. So, I think I just answered this question wrong.
10. Describe the last thing that made you laugh?
My dog. Today, she found a way to intertwine herself into my leg as she slept. She slept for 2 hours. If I tried to move my leg even just a little bit, she woke up and gave me a look that seemed to say “I’m comfortable, what do you think you are doing?” The look make me laugh each time.
Blogs I Nominate & 10 Questions
I always struggle with this part, because I love every single blog that I follow – I wouldn’t follow them if I didn’t like them. So, today, I’ve decided to nominate all the blogs I follow, and I will specifically chose 10 blogs that I have not nominated in the past.
If you choose to participate, here are your 10 questions:
- What is your favourite food?
- Do you live in the same country you were born in?
- What is your favourite song and band?
- What type of cell phone do you use?
- What is the best book you have read and why?
- What is your favourite thing to do to raise your spirits?
- Why do you blog?
- Do you like Disney movies?
- Liquid soap or bar soap?
- Where would you like to travel and why?
If you like this post, please feel free to share it and please return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
I am hoping that by sharing the details of my experiences and my opinions, that others will gain an insight into the types of miscarriages available. I realize not everyone will want to read this, and that’s okay. Please skip this if you need to. And, if you are reading this, I understand that you are likely in need of some more information on miscarriages. Please know that I firmly believe no-one deserves this painful experience and my heart breaks for anyone going through this.
It is my experience that as you enter into the world of miscarriage, much of the medical language becomes very factual, harsh and cold. Expect to hear words like pregnancy products, abortion medication and fetal demise, For me, it was hard to hear the doctors refer to my baby as simply products of pregnancy, and to have doctors say that fetal demise is confirmed (i.e. my baby has died).
There are essentially 3 ways for the miscarriage to occur:
- naturally
- induced through medication known as Misoprostol or Cytotec
- surgery known as Dilation and Curettage (D&C)
Typically (baring some sort of medical complication) it is the parents’ choice how they want to proceed.
Whatever you choose, make sure you are making the right choice for you. In most circumstances you do not have to make an instantaneous choice the second you find out your baby has died or is dying. Take a few days if you need to. And, remember, the majority of people do not go through this multiple times – in fact 3 consecutive miscarriages occur in 1 % of couples, so while you may have fear trying again, remember that odds are, your next one will work!
I have had 5 pregnancies that have all ended in miscarriage. More specifically my experience is as follows:
- Pregnancy 1 – Natural miscarriage
- Pregnancy 2 – Misoprostol (2 maximum doses) and emergency D&C on day 2
- Pregnancy 3 – scheduled D&C / abortion due to septic infection
- Pregnancy 4 – Misoprostol (4 maximum doses) and multiple in office procedures to suction remaining pregnancy products out of my uterus over the following 29 days.
- Pregnancy 5 – Biochemical Pregnancy/Natural Miscarriage which ended naturally within 48 hours
I have decided to do 3 separate posts on miscarriage options, one post on each type. Today I will focus on Natural. You can read about my D&C experience here, and my misoprostol experience here.
Please remember this is just my opinion and I am NOT a medical professional. Consult with your medical professional to determine the best course of action for your unique circumstances.
Natural Miscarriage
Natural miscarriages can happen at any point early in a pregnancy. They can happen on their own, before you are aware that the baby has died via an ultrasound, or they can happen after an ultrasound has confirmed that the baby has died. If you find out via an ultrasound that your baby has died, you may choose to wait for the miscarriage to occur naturally. It can take up to 6 weeks before your body will recognize the miscarriage and expel the pregnancy on its own.
I have had one natural miscarriage and one biochemical pregnancy, both of which ended in essentially the same way – a bad period. My very first pregnancy was a natural miscarriage at 5 weeks, and our biochemical pregnancy essentially ended 48 hours after the double faint line on the test strip appeared. At the time of our first miscarriage, I thought it was a horrible experience. I thought it was as bad as it could get. Little did I know, I would eventually consider these to be my easiest miscarriage. As it was early on, we never saw our baby on an ultrasound and we saw no heart beat. We had no warning that it was about to occur.
The actual miscarriage was essentially just a horrible period. I cramped for a few days, and then passed more clots then I normally would during a period.
That said, the emotional impact of our early natural miscarriage was tremendous. As it was unexpected, this meant that we were not prepared for it. It took us by surprise, and just as quickly as we were pregnant, we were not. It was hard to digest, and understand.
My opinion:
- As my natural miscarriages occurred without warning, I didn’t have a choice in terms of what procedure to use.
- At 5 weeks, it was unpleasant and uncomfortable, but the pain was easily numbed with extra strength Tylenol. I was able to work through the entire thing, with the exception of the first day when I was so emotionally upset that I didn’t want to go into my office for fear of crying at work. (I would assume that if you are further into your pregnancy, the experience would be significantly more unpleasant).
- If your miscarriage is confirmed by an ultrasound, you are may given the option of waiting for the miscarriage to occur naturally. This was not our experience with our natural miscarriage as it occurred unexpectedly.
- With our other miscarriages that were confirmed via an ultrasound we have not chosen the route of waiting for the natural miscarriages because:
- Waiting for a natural miscarriage to occur because it can take up to 6 weeks. The thought of carrying my dead baby around in me for weeks was too much for me to bare. And, the thought of waiting for my body to expel my baby is just too much. The idea of having to continue living (i.e working) while waiting is too hard. And what if it starts at the worst possible time, like during my husband’s grandfather funeral?
- I find the hardest part of a miscarriage is waiting for it to be over, so for me, the ability to kick start it is essential to my mental health.
- Misoprostol/cytotec forces your body to do what it will eventually do on its own. So, we saw this as simply speeding up the natural process.
- With a natural miscarriage it is still possible that your body will not expel all the products and you will require a D&C eventually.
I think the most important piece of advice I can give someone facing these options is that there is no single right or wrong answer, and as such do whatever feels right for you.
For further information on my miscarriage experience, you may find these post helpful:
12 Things I Wish Someone Told Me about Miscarriage
How to Have A Miscarriage – The Practical Way
Miscarriage Options – Misoprostol/Cytotec
A Calm Persistence – Using Cytotec: 4th Miscarriage
Laughs N’ Love – Taking Misoprostol for Miscarriage
If you like this post, please feel free to share it and please return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
My Perfect Breakdown 