I’ve never been a fan of self-medicating when it comes to prescription medications.  Actually I kind of hate it, partially because I hate taking medications in the first place, but also because it inevitably leads to more questions and I clearly don’t have a medical degree to be able to provide the answer.

So, to re-cap, last week we had weird numbers for my progesterone blood work (CD 21 was at 4.1 and CD 23 was at 6.5).  This could indicate late ovulation.  You can read all about it here.

My husband and I decided based on tonnes of reading that I would start progesteron supplements on CD 23 because if conception did occur, progesterone is critical to implantation (my RE wants us to wait to start the supplements when pregnancy is confirmed).  So, we ignored our RE and decided to do what the literature recommends and what all the other bloggers are doing based on there RE’s protocol.

Anyways, today is now CD 29, and I tested negative when I POAS.  My typical cycles are 28-29 days long.

Initially the plan was to stop progesterone today if I tested negative.  But, clearly life couldn’t be that simple.

If I ovulated late, doesn’t that mean I could get a later positive pregnancy test?

So, now, I’m trying to figure out when to actually stop progesterone.  I am not a fan of dragging my cycle out longer then necessary, but I’m also not a fan of stopping the medication if its to early to know for certain that we are not pregnant.

The decision so far, is to call my RE, and lie – tell them we have a faint positive so they will order the blood test.  The blood test will confirm if my beta is below 5 and therefore if we should stop the progesterone.  Lying is stressing me out beyond believe.  I know its the best thing to do, because they wont give me a beta test without a positive test.  But, I honestly hate everything about lying.

So, now I wait.  I should have the results sometime today.

I’m feeling very frustrated by all of this, not in an upset way like last week, but in a what the fuck holey man is this annoying way.  I just feel like this entire situation was so easy to avoid, and yet, because of poor communication with my clinic, here I am left to my own devises and trying to develop a medical knowledge and treatment protocol that is far beyond my skill set.  Hell, I have 7 years of post secondary education from very reputable universities under my belt, but I stopped taking biology in grade 12!  I am not a medical doctor, and yet I feel like I’m starting to become one!

Yup, I think I need to find myself another clinic that will address my concerns in a timely manner…

And, maybe win the lottery while I’m at it, because my RPL journey is about to get much more expensive…

Or maybe, I should just learn to drink rum and coke to reduce the frustration? (that was totally a joke, I do not plan to become an alcoholic as a result of this).

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Today feels like a great day to share another week of happy moments!  Here is my eleventh week of #100happydays.

Day 71 – September 15, 2014: I find about once a week I struggle with finding a happy day photo and today was it for this week.  Not because I wasn’t happy, but because it’s really hard to take photos of de-cluttering and selling stuff that we no longer need. And, although I had fun cooking supper tonight, my attempt was a horrible disaster due to some very poor multitasking (which I blame on my husband since he distract me), so that picture is more of a lesson in how not to cook, and tasted just as bad as it looked. So, when my husband’s evening took a turn for the worst due to an unpleasant work emergency at 7:45pm, my best photographable happy moment of the day was my attempt to make him smile when the crises was defused.  A strong, de-stressing rum and coke. It worked and we both smiled.

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Day 72 – September 16, 2014: Tonight, my husband and I cooked up a storm. We baked lemon and dill wild sockeye salmon for supper; slow cooked garden heirloom tomato sauce to freeze for warm winter pasta; homemade pepper and teriyaki beef jerky; dehydrated chili peppers from our massive garden crop; baked another batch of delicious gluten-free blueberry muffins; and, we even prepped tomorrow night’s honey barbeque meat loaf.

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Day 73 – September 17, 2014: We had a bit of a stressful afternoon so my husband suggested a walk to help clear our minds. So, today’s happy moment was our family walk in a provincial park near our house. We particularly enjoyed watching two deer eating in a meadow, the view of the perfectly still river from a small pedestrian bridge, and the beautiful fall colours. And, Sadie enjoyed every single smell along the way.

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Day 74 – September 18, 2014: Today I decided to take a photo of something in our house that makes me smile almost daily – our little golden frog from Panama. He sits on the counter in one of our bathrooms. He makes me happy because he reminds me of a glorious week in Panama with my husband. And, I also love that his colours clash with every single thing in the room (and our entire house for that matter), but I like him anyways.

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Day 75 – September 19, 2014: Surprise, surprise, my happy moment today was on another walk with my husband and our giant furball. My favourite season is late winter/early spring, because I love the anticipation of summer. But, I absolutely adore the fall colours and the crunch of leaves underfoot now that all the leaves are falling to the ground marking the end of another summer.

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Day 76 – September 20, 2014: Today we made it to my favourite outdoor summer farmer’s market. The fresh veggies are right off the farmer’s trucks, the crafts are cute and adorable and the people are always friendly. A visit to this market always ensure a fun time shopping, and at least a weeks’ worth of delicious produce at a really reasonable price.

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Day 77 – September 21, 2014: We won’t have many more warm fall days left before the snow falls and stays for the winter.  So we are taking advantage of the ones we do have by enjoying days like today.  We had a wonderful walk in this beautiful park and enjoyed the breathtaking fall colours.

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 Wishing everyone a great week filled with happy moments!

If you like this post, please feel free to share it and please return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.

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