When you adopt, you make choices.
First you chose what type / where you will adopt from.
- International or Domestic Infant
- Domestic Foster to Adopt
- Open
- Closed
Then you choose what agencies to work with.
Then you have to make choices on things like:
- Race
- Birth mother/father history – criminal, prostitution, mental health, etc.
- Birth defects
- Premature birth
- Multiple births
- Substance Abuse
The choices are awkward and at times heartbreaking, but absolutely necessary. In our experience, once non-adoptive people learn that you have to make choices, they want to know all the details about the precise selections. People ask things like:
- What races did you choose? / Could your baby be black/yellow/pink/purple?
- Will your adopted child have as bad of a temper as X’s adopted child?
- Will your child have fetal alcohol syndrome?
- Will you know their family medical history?
Guess what, this is no-ones business! I don’t ask my girlfriends when they get married if they are okay with their choice of husband because his skin colour will dictate the colour of their children. I don’t ask people if they know their family medical history on all sides, as to know if they or their children may get breast cancer one day. And, I sure as heck don’t ask people if they indulged in a few glasses of wine before they knew they were pregnant. These questions are so not appropriate in normal circumstances, and they are absolutely not appropriate in adoption circumstances.
That said, I realize that these questions are mostly coming from a place of interest and a lack of awareness. Which of course means we have to educate people and at the same time we need to be polite about it. So, we say things like:
Our child may be of a different race, but our precise selections are private.
Our child is just like every other child and may have temper tantrums from time to time. Adoption does not cause children to misbehave, a number of factors including individual personalities and poor parenting cause misbehaviour.
Our child’s detailed medical history is private, just as your detailed medical history is private.
By being honest and open, we hope to educate people about adoption and at the same time we hope set boundaries about what is acceptable discussion in the MPB household.
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I was so excited when Mama et Maman nominated me to participate in the recipe trade off. Mr. MPB and I love to cook and eat, so this was right up our alley and provided us with the perfect excuse to spend an evening together in the kitchen. And, as an added bonus, it was a wonderful excuse for Mr. MPB to make my all-time favourite dessert.
Here are the Rules:
-link the person who nominated you
-then upload your recipe.
-include a picture if possible.
-than link other bloggers (let’s aim for 5-10)
While it’s not part of the rules, I started by making Mama et Manan’s Thai Red Curry recipe for supper. We did not have all the same ingredients in the house (i.e. fish sauce and rice – who runs out rice?), it still turned out wonderfully with our creative substitution of a wild quinoa mix).
Recipe: Chocolate Crêpes
There is absolutely nothing healthy about this delectable dessert. It is made with real butter and is gluten filled. And it is oh, so delicious!
Ingredients
- 1 cup dark chocolate
- 1 tablespoon of butter
- 1 1/3 cup of flour
- 1 3/4 cup of skim milk
- 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
- Sugar
- Grand Marnier
Step 1 – Make the Perfect Liquid Chocolate
In a microwavable bowl or double boiler, add about dark chocolate chopped into little pieces. (When it comes to chocolate for this recipe we use only the best – Bernard Callebaut).
Add about 1 tablespoon of butter.
Microwave or melt in a double boiler. Watch closely and stir frequently to avoid burning the chocolate. When the chocolate runs smooth, it is ready.
Step 2 – Prepare the Crêpe Batter
Add 1 1/3 cup of flour to the blender.
Add 1 3/4 cup of skim milk to the blender. (I’m sure any milk will work just fine – we only have skim milk in our house so it’s what we use)
Add about 1 teaspoon of cinnamon (more or less depending on your preference) and blend on high until smooth.
Step 3 – Make the Crêpes
Using a hot cast-iron crepe pan (or non-stick frying pan), melt a chunk of butter.
Pour the crepe batter onto pan.
Using gravity spread it out evenly over the pan. The batter should be very thin – about 1 to 2 millimeters thick.
Cook until golden brown and flip over.
Spread some chocolate on the middle of the crepe and let it warm up while the second side cooks.
Once golden brown, fold in the sides and plate. To finish, drizzle a touch more chocolate on top and add a sprinkling of sugar.
Add an optional splash of Grand Marnier. (Mr. MPB’s favourite)
Enjoy!
My Nominations:
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