My life is so incredibly full, in so many ways. I am a mother, a dream come true for me, that at one time I never thought possible. I have a loving husband. I have a thriving consulting business. I have food on my table and can afford extra life comforts that many other have to go without.
And yet, lately, I feel a tad bit lonely.
I have always been the type of person who has one or two close friends, never a big group of friends, but a few very close people. Right now, I feel like I’ve lost that in my life.
Most of our friends had kids years before us, leaving us behind – I do not blame them or resent them for this, this is just sort of a fact of life. But what it means is that their kids are now older then Little MPB and interested in different age appropriate activities. And, they seem to be friends with their kids parents. My other closest friends have all left our province and moved away. Yes, we can text, but no, it’s just not the same. We cannot get together for a long chat with a glass of wine or cup of coffee. There are no lunch dates and there are no play dates. I text and email with a few bloggers regularly, but it’s just not the same as real-life human interaction. And honestly, as we’ve mostly all become parents, our texts/emails are fewer and farther apart these days, presumably because they are just as busy as me.
As for making new friends, I have been completely unsuccessful at making new friends at baby/toddler activities. Because at this point, in swimming, I’m solely focused on keeping my part fish-kid from drowning, not talking to other parents about how their days are going. The same goes for gymnastics and any other activity we’ve tried. I’ve been told making friends at his social activities wont happen until kids start un-parented activities, and parents sitting on the sidelines watching start striking up conversations.
But here’s the truth, even if I had some way to make new friends or rekindle old friendships, I simply don’t have time. My life is consumed with:
- Little MPB. Time with Little MPB is always paramount and comes first. Swimming, gymnastics, dinner time, play time, snuggle time, potty training, etc. – these come first. Always.
- Work. I work too much, and I will be for the foreseeable future because consulting life is feast or famine.
- Doodle MPB. She takes up more time and energy then I ever thought possible for a dog.
- House/daily needs. Apparently one must keep their house somewhat organized as to not have it fall into a state of disrepair and grocery shopping is a necessary evil.
- Mr. MPB. He should be higher on this list.
My days are so busy right now, that I cannot do more. I don’t think prior to being a parent I realized just how much parenting takes over your entire life – I knew it would change everything, I just don’t think I realized just how much. And, I think all our friends moving away at the same time just created a bit of a perfect storm. (Please let me be clear, I am not complaining about being a mom – I wouldn’t trade anything for being Little MPB’s mom. It’s just that right now everything isn’t sunshine and roses, and I want to acknowledge the less then ideal parts of life).
So, how can I even try to build the friendships that I am currently longing for, it I don’t even have time to be a friend in return? And since I wont make changes to my life priorities, do I even have the right to complain?
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