Stepping Off the Crazy Train
For the first time in almost 2.5 years, I do not know the monthly calendar based on cycle days.
I do not know where I am in my cycle, maybe CD 21ish? maybe CD 26ish?
I do not know the date of CD1 off the top of my head (although I could look it up if I chose to).
I do not know if I’ve ovulated. Or when I should ovulate.
I am not obsessively peeing on any sticks.
I have absolutely no idea when my period should arrive.
I know nothing!
Even more, we are not having scheduled sex. This is awesome and so freeing!
We are not facing a TWW.
I am not constantly symptom watching.
We are not dreading and yet at the same time kind of hoping that this cycle will end in pregnancy.
We are not living in 1 month intervals of being pregnant or not. Heck, we even booked a ski weekend for February and March at two of our favourite mountains! That’s major long term planning that is not contingent upon the state of a pregnancy – this is progress. We have not done in years!
.
There is something so liberating of being off the crazy RPL train!
Photo Source: Office.com Clip Art
I for one am feeling much calmer on a daily basis. My RPL fears of another loss are slowly vanishing as we are not facing the prospect of getting pregnant again, my work fears/issues have stepped into that void. That said work fears are much easier to deal with then the prospect of losing another baby.
So, on the whole, I for one am feeling much calmer these days. In many ways, I feel like I’m starting to breath again for the first time in months. I feel less and less like I’m hoping on for dear life, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I feel like we have started to live again and to embrace the future again without being overcome by all the fears.
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Seriously, that has got to feel amazing! That makes me so happy for you! Xo
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It really is amazing! 🙂
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Yay!!! Love this post and love that you feel like you can breathe again!
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Life is returning to be about living, not about pregnancies and dead babies. It is a much healthier and happier outlook 🙂
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isn’t is great?? I love living in cycle-ignorance. When is my next period? I don’t know – who cares! It’s amazing!
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It really is amazing! I’m so happy you too understand just how awesome it is. 🙂
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Happy for you!
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Thank you!
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Yes. I love this. I absolutely love this. You’re getting your groove back!
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You are so right – we are getting our groove back. It’s nice to be focusing on living and just enjoying life. 🙂
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What liberation!
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Absolutely! 🙂
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I am so happy for you! This is a great place to be! Enjoy those trips away!
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Thank you Courtney! We will absolutely enjoy the ski trips – we haven’t skied in 2 years because its been considered too high risk of an activity for me. Honestly, skiing is the only benefit to winter, so we are really excited to go skiing again this year! 🙂
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Love this post!! Good for you!! Xx
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Thanks so much! It is pretty awesome most days. 🙂
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It feels LUXURIOUS, doesn’t it? It isn’t until you aren’t thinking about it all the time, that you realize how much mental space and energy worrying took up in your life.
I love you’re embracing this bit of freedom!
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Luxurious is such a great word – it really is, most of the time. 🙂
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Go you!!!
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Thank you!
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So happy for you!!!
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Thank you!
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The unknown is freeing isn’t it! Where are you going to go in February and March?
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The unknown of a cycle is really awesome! Just like the good old days before RPL.
We are off to Whistler and Fernie. Fernie is a much smaller hill/resort town, and we just love it!
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That spunds so fun!
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Just reading this post makes me feel lighter! I love everything about it. I’m so glad you are moving forward feeling refreshed. It must be so nice not to deal with all of that BS. Cheers to that!
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It really is a lighter way to live! I’m loving it and we are really looking forward to moving forwad. 🙂
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Just reading this post feels amazing! I’m am so glad you are able to feel calmer and not live in fear of more loss. And you are back living life the way it should be lived!
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Thank you so much for your love and support!
I so hope that the further you get into your pregnancy the less fears you will have. Living in fear is just not a fun way to live.
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That sounds like heaven…
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In many ways it is. I’m really hoping that the further you get into your pregnancy, the less crazy you too will feel.
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I love that about you: Hope springs eternal! 😉
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Since being on a break, I’m feeling like I’ve stepped off the crazy train for a bit. It feels nice, so I can so relate to this post. I’ve done nothing TTC related and it’s been wonderful. I’m so happy to hear such calmness in this post. 🙂
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I love that you an relate to the feelings of calm right now – its just so much healthier then being in the throws of trying and waiting. 🙂
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Isn’t it such a great feeling? I know that we stepped off different trains…sorta…but I remember when I stopped seeing the doctors, constantly symptom spotting, worrying, temping, charting, etc and just decided that when it happens, then it happens, I was a MUCH happier person. Sending you hugs today sugars! xo
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Maybe we just stepped off different cars on the same train? The entire IF/RPL stuff is enough to drive a person completely mad!
So yes, just like you, I am already starting to feel much happier and calmer on a daily basis! I am so happy that you understand what I mean. 🙂
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