My Nearly Year Long Secret

I’ve been humming and hawing over writing this. In fact, it’s been on my mind for nearly a year. Yes, you read that – I’ve kept something to myself and not shared it here for nearly a year – I’m a talker (and a writer), so that’s basically unheard of in my life!

And, I come here to write things that most people don’t talk about because I’m safe. I’m anonymous. I can share without too much fear or repercussion.

And, while what I’ve been keeping quiet on may not seem like a big deal, but in many ways it’s been life changing.

So, why haven’t I written about it? Two reasons. First, for those who know me in real life, it’s very identifying. So if someone stumbled upon my blog, people could guess that it’s me. Second, I think I’ve been afraid to jinx it.

You see, this is about my Dad and I. If you have read my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’ve often written about our challenging relationship after my mom and sister died. For those who have read this all before, I’ll just do a quick recap to not bore you with the history, and we do have quite the history. I was a daddy’s girl growing up – through and through. Then my mom and sister died, he became a single parent to a teenager daughter. He moved on with a new wife and kids (whom I quite like now that I’m not a teenager) and I felt left behind and things just didn’t often go well. It’s been rocky ever since.

In more recent years, we could go a few months at a time without talking, and I never thought much of it and I suspect he didn’t either.

After our third loss when we told them what was going on, we also told them how disappointed we were in our relationship as it was at that time. It was an incredibly hard conversation.

Then, Little MPB came along and my Dad and my step-mom took a much bigger interest in our lives. I’ll never forget my Dad taking a photo of his grandson on the computer screen when we introduced them while were still in the USA. Maybe it’s true what they say about babies bringing people together? Regardless of why, I truly appreciated the effort they have made to be part of Little MPB’s life especially since we don’t live in the same city. In fact, Little MPB absolutely adores them and he asks for them all the time!

But, that isn’t what I’m talking about.

Something else has been happening in the last year between my Dad and I.

Someone offered my Dad a contract to complete a project. You see my Dad and I work in the same unique profession (the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree). He’s very well respected for the work he did throughout his career but he’s been retired for a number of years. Prior to his retirement, I always made a point not to put I work for my Daddy on my resume so we never worked together, and we didn’t have a great relationship so working together was never in the cards anyways. Well, fast forward a bit and my Dad said yes to the contract, but only if I’d do the bulk of the work and he’d provide mentorship as needed. The client agreed.

And just like that, we began working together. In fact, I now employ my Dad.

I wont lie, Mr. MPB and I have been scared about how this would evolve. There are so many stories out there about how families fall apart when they add work to the dynamics.

That hasn’t happened.

Nearly a year later the project is nearly complete. And, we’ve accepted a few other contracts with the same arrangement – I do most of the work, he provides support and advice when needed. Heck, he even took over a bunch of meetings for me one time when Little MPB was just too sick to go to daycare – no questions asked, he just filled in. We talk on the phone multiple times a week. We see each other for meetings at least a few times a month.

In many ways, it’s best thing that could ever have happened for us. And I am trying to savor every moment of our new found relationship.

If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.

19 Comments on “My Nearly Year Long Secret

  1. This is fabulous! I’m glad you’ve found something that was able to help your relationship. I hope that things continue to go well for you with this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow that’s great – not only have you managed to put together a good working arrangement you’ve also managed to connect on a personal level. It’s always good to know that your family will be there for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s amazing. I am so happy for you. What an incredible thing, to repair a relationship that has been so rocky for so long. I think it says a lot about you, and about your dad, that you were both open to doing that. Not to imply that everything is suddenly roses — I’m sure there’s still a lot of hurt going on. But it’s amazing that you have come to a new and better place so late in life.

    Of course, I say that as someone who didn’t have a good relationship with my dad, and my dad died this past fall, so that’s the end of our story. I am so happy for you that your story is turning out differently, and I am cheering you on with not a little bit of vicarious happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How wonderful! As someone who has sometimes had a strained relationship with her own father over the years, I can imagine how much this means to you.

    Like

  5. This is cool. I was a daddy’s girl growing up! I’m glad this experience has brought you together. 🙂

    Like

  6. This is wonderful 🙂 Babies really do have a way a drawing families together again. I’m so glad that Little MPB has been a connection point for you and your dad and that has led to being able to work together and successfully too!! I’m really happy for you x

    Like

  7. How wonderful for you! It sounds like both of you are committed to building this relationship. I’ve just now discovered your blog and already am a big fan! Thanks for sharing!

    Like

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