The Power of Words

I am a strong individual, I pride myself on being resilient.  I’ve survived more then my fair share of unfortunate events in my life, and I just dig deeper and keep going.  I also pride myself on being compassionate and kind to others.  These are both core elements of my identity and shape how I interact with the world around me, both in my real life and in my blogging life.  I’m not saying I’m perfect, I do make mistakes.  But I also always take responsibility for my actions, right and wrong.  And I also admit my mistakes and work to correct them whenever possible.  And I try to surround myself by similarly minded people and I desperately hope to raise my son to live by these values.

Yesterday I shared how hurt and upset I am over someone’s cruel words directed at me in a way that is nothing short of bullying and shaming.  And yet, on Monday I shared how touched I was by the words of an almost stranger that were incredibly kind and supportive.

Interestingly I was nearly brought to tears by both the hurtful body shaming and the compassionate kindness.

And even more interestingly, today I am holding onto the hurtful words more then the kind words.  Why is it that we do this to ourselves?  (I say we because I’m pretty sure this isn’t a unique phenomenon to me but rather something rather common).

Anyways, Mr. MPB and I have been talking about how these two incidents that occurred within a few days of each other and how completely differently they have impacted me.  When I got home from the course I didn’t even mention the positive words I received to Mr. MPB, in fact he read about it on my blog.  I’m not one to pat myself on the back so true to my typical self I didn’t come home bragging about it.  And yet, instantly I shared the horrible email with my husband and I’ve been dwelling on it since.

And so I find myself sitting here thinking about the power of words and the power of our voice.

I feel as though the last few days is a perfect example of how hurtful words can be.  And how lasting that hurt can be.  I know I’ll move past this, but I also know I’ll never forget it and it’s one of those things that will float around in my mind from time to time.  Unfortunately.

And I have to admit, sometimes it’s hard to always be strong and resilient.  It’s in the immediate moments after hurtful words or horrible events happen that I want to give up.  It’s in these moments that I want to just stop trying so hard.  It’s in these moments that I want to just walk away from all the crap and move to a secluded beach island with my little MPB family to live out my days without this type of drama.

Yet, I realize moving to my secluded beach island is obviously never going to happen.  And, I know that I have to find the strength within me to just get over this and move on.  I think I’m somewhat fortunate that I know that I cannot dwell in this negativity and I will push myself beyond it when I’m ready.  But, I also know that I have to let these emotions out.  I know that I cannot just bottle everything up.  So, I will give myself a few days to be bitter, annoyed and slightly depressed.  But, I will let the positivity back in and I will lift myself back up.  I will go high.

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12 Comments on “The Power of Words

  1. It’s amazing how we can be so resilient when it comes to our feelings and how we can let others make us feel. It’s so important to find the positive amongst the negative, yet we can’t bottle up how something has impacted us so deeply either. Sometimes it’s best to just take some time to decompose our thoughts and feelings and then come back to those negative things when we’ve cooled down and have a more positive mindset about it. It’s hard. Be gentle on your self and practice self care. Sometimes it’s the only way to get through these tough moments.

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  2. Your resilience is so much stronger than this cruel and WRONG idiot. I have a few mean words spoken to me over the years that still float in my head. I have pretty heavy crows feet for a woman my age and remember an ex calling them out pretty cruelly. It stuck with my for a while until I finally told my husband about it and he said it is one of the most beautiful things about me since they are there from how often and quickly I smile and laugh. It changed my perspective and has made me not even get Botox. I now feel proud of them which baffles my Botox loving friends. So yes- words can have a lasting affect and yes we can change their power. Besides- like I said before, I saw you in person and you are gorgeous!

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  3. I also tend to remember the bad over the good. This is s great reminder to not do that! There generally is so much more good than bad but it may not seem like that since we remember the bad more often. Hugs!!

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  4. I think most people in general focus on and hold on to the bad things in life. I feel like we’re always told that when something is bugging us, we should talk about it to others to get our feelings out, or talk it out with whoever we feel wronged us to resolve the issue. We’re always encouraged to talk about the bad stuff, I feel like it just takes over all the good stuff. I’ve heard over and over that positive breeds positive and negative breeds negative…so with all this focus on the negative, I feel like we’ve just started living in that mindset. Of course I feel like if we’re upset about something we should talk about it and not keep it all inside (like I usually do, hence my post the other day!)…but we should learn to let it go and move on, and get back to the positive in our lives. We should all try a little harder to see the good in our lives and in those around us, and try to work past the bad and let it go better. Also, if people would just be a little KINDER to each other, and not so mean like the idiot who sent you that email, then maybe this world would be a lot better place to begin with!! *hugs*

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  5. You are right that we all tend to hold onto bad more than good. It’s an interesting facet of human nature. I think that we have to intentionally choose to focus on positive things, and it’s still difficult. (There is probably some evolutionary basis for this.)

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  6. I can totally understand that the hurtful words nagged at you longer than the nice ones. I would almost say that is human nature. Here are two random and spontaneous ideas that might help you: 1) the fitness center (?) woman was crap at her job if she (rightly!) lost a customer after the first session. 2) You are 34 years old as you said. With each coming year, you will become a bit cooler and care a bit less about the judgments of others. By the time you are my age, this fitness center experience will become a humorous blog post because you just won’t care. That is also human nature. In this case, the good side.

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  7. I really am so sorry you had to experience such an awful email from that gym woman. And for her to not realize how negative it was and the impact her words had even after it was explained to her was doubly bad. Nobody deserves such hurtful words. And in spite of all the hardships you have been through, you are such a positive, uplifting person through your interactions with people through your blog and other people’s blogs. We appreciate you and the power of your words 🙂

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  8. Words really are so powerful and it is interesting how we tend to focus on the negativity more than the positive. I do it too. I think most people do. Just remember you are amazing. You’re an amazing mom, wife, friend and all around amazing person. I don’t know you in person, but these things I know about you. And what that B said to you were the words of one person who clearly lives in a world of negativity. What goes around comes around and I don’t think she’ll be in business for too much longer if this is how she conducts herself to her paying clients. I hate to wish ill of anyone, but I do not feel bad for saying that. Her hurtful actions cannot be tolerated and no one else should go through what you’ve gone through this week. It’s not okay. Still so mad over here.

    You are amazing. 💗

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  9. It’s easy to focus on the bad…that’s why at dinner time Chris and I do this little routine ‘what was the best part of your day?’ Sometimes it’s hard to think about what that is, but makes us review the day in a positive light. It’s good to not bottle up the good things as equally as it is to not bottle up the bad. Hopefully just writing about it like you have is already helping you. Words are incredibly powerful! X

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