Adding Insult to Injury
Funny thing happened when I talked to my family doctor recently about birth control options that he would recommend. Before I jump into it, I need to point out I adore my family doctor, and am absolutely grateful that I have him on my medical team. I have sat in his office and cried on more than one occasion. I have turned to him our darkest moments for hope and advice. I admire his ability to walk along side us and help us navigate our options as a compassionate professional.
Here’s the paraphrased coles notes of our conversation:
Dr.: How are you doing with everything?
MPB: Okay. We realize that our prognosis for having a biological child is pretty bad, so we have decided to move on to adoption. We still have some concerns about everything, but we also know it’s a long road to adoption and we will work through some of our reservations and fears in the coming months. My counsellor has been a really big support through the last few years, and I’m sure as we continue to navigate the road to adoption she will continue to be an important piece of the puzzle. (You know the conversation. It needs to be had, but I’m sure neither of us are really too interested in rehashing the intimate details of last 2 years). We talked a few weeks ago about birth control options, and I need to get a prescription for something. I’m leaning towards the Mirena IUD as it worked well for me in the past, but I want to get your opinion about anything else that might be new and a good fit for me.
Dr.: If the Mirena worked for you before, it’s probably your best bet. That said, I’m sorry to tell you this, but it’s required that you get STD a few days before the procedure to confirm you do not have syphilis and take a pregnancy test the day of the procedure.
MPB: Laughing. How come I’m not surprised that the government is going to require me to pee in a cup to confirm that I don’t have syphilis? After all the tests I’ve had in the last 2 years, I am absolutely positive syphilis is not one of my ailments. But whatever, I can pee in a cup to make the province happy. And as for the pregnancy test, I have a bunch sitting around the house, I’ll take one. Given the pregnancy test requirement, I’m assuming this means I should wait until the end of this cycle before I have it put in?
Dr.: No, you can have it put in whenever you want.
MPB (thinking, not verbalizing): Huh? A test taken anytime during your cycle, except the last few days is bound to come back negative?!! It’s impossible to test positive before the HCG builds up in the urine. So if I have the Mirena put in after ovulation, but before implantation then I’ll will test negative even if I were pregnant. This makes no sense! Fuck it, I’m not going to try to fix yet another asinine provincial requirement! I’ll just be responsible and pee on a stick at the right time to give me peace of mind and book the procedure for the start of a cycle so that I am confident I am not pregnant.
So, while the decision to go back on birth control and effectively end our attempts to have children the traditional way has been stressful enough, evidently the minions who developed the provincial requirements have decided to make the process just a bit more painful for me. I expected and was prepared for the obvious landmines of actually going to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled, stare at the box as I pick it up and bring it home and imagine what will no longer be, and have one more fun vaginal procedure. But, now, I also get to extend the insult of this by peeing in a cup a few days before the procedure and taking a pregnancy test the morning of the procedure. Yup, I’m already excited to stare at one last test that will quietly remind me of all that we have lost and at the same time remind me that my body is broken and I will never successfully carry a child term.
Oh yes, let’s just pour salt in the wounds I have from RPL for a few days straight before we cauterize the wounds with the equivalent of molten lava.
This should be fun…
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