Adding Insult to Injury

Funny thing happened when I talked to my family doctor recently about birth control options that he would recommend. Before I jump into it, I need to point out I adore my family doctor, and am absolutely grateful that I have him on my medical team. I have sat in his office and cried on more than one occasion. I have turned to him our darkest moments for hope and advice. I admire his ability to walk along side us and help us navigate our options as a compassionate professional.

Here’s the paraphrased coles notes of our conversation:

Dr.: How are you doing with everything?

MPB: Okay. We realize that our prognosis for having a biological child is pretty bad, so we have decided to move on to adoption. We still have some concerns about everything, but we also know it’s a long road to adoption and we will work through some of our reservations and fears in the coming months. My counsellor has been a really big support through the last few years, and I’m sure as we continue to navigate the road to adoption she will continue to be an important piece of the puzzle. (You know the conversation. It needs to be had, but I’m sure neither of us are really too interested in rehashing the intimate details of last 2 years). We talked a few weeks ago about birth control options, and I need to get a prescription for something. I’m leaning towards the Mirena IUD as it worked well for me in the past, but I want to get your opinion about anything else that might be new and a good fit for me.

Dr.: If the Mirena worked for you before, it’s probably your best bet. That said, I’m sorry to tell you this, but it’s required that you get STD a few days before the procedure to confirm you do not have syphilis and take a pregnancy test the day of the procedure.

MPB: Laughing. How come I’m not surprised that the government is going to require me to pee in a cup to confirm that I don’t have syphilis? After all the tests I’ve had in the last 2 years, I am absolutely positive syphilis is not one of my ailments. But whatever, I can pee in a cup to make the province happy. And as for the pregnancy test, I have a bunch sitting around the house, I’ll take one. Given the pregnancy test requirement, I’m assuming this means I should wait until the end of this cycle before I have it put in?

Dr.: No, you can have it put in whenever you want.

MPB (thinking, not verbalizing): Huh? A test taken anytime during your cycle, except the last few days is bound to come back negative?!! It’s impossible to test positive before the HCG builds up in the urine. So if I have the Mirena put in after ovulation, but before implantation then I’ll will test negative even if I were pregnant. This makes no sense! Fuck it, I’m not going to try to fix yet another asinine provincial requirement! I’ll just be responsible and pee on a stick at the right time to give me peace of mind and book the procedure for the start of a cycle so that I am confident I am not pregnant.


So, while the decision to go back on birth control and effectively end our attempts to have children the traditional way has been stressful enough, evidently the minions who developed the provincial requirements have decided to make the process just a bit more painful for me. I expected and was prepared for the obvious landmines of actually going to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled, stare at the box as I pick it up and bring it home and imagine what will no longer be, and have one more fun vaginal procedure. But, now, I also get to extend the insult of this by peeing in a cup a few days before the procedure and taking a pregnancy test the morning of the procedure. Yup, I’m already excited to stare at one last test that will quietly remind me of all that we have lost and at the same time remind me that my body is broken and I will never successfully carry a child term.

Oh yes, let’s just pour salt in the wounds I have from RPL for a few days straight before we cauterize the wounds with the equivalent of molten lava.

This should be fun…

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36 Comments on “Adding Insult to Injury

  1. Ugh…you’d think they would make exceptions on a case by case basis. You’d think your Dr would be able to make that call for special circumstances. How stupid. I’m sorry that you have to go through yet another ordeal before things are complete for you. And I agree, it makes no sense that you have to take a pregnancy test the day of, but it makes no difference what point in your cycle you’re at when that happens. Obviously men made up these rules. 😉


    • Oh, I love your hopefulness that the medical system would allow exceptions for practical reasons! Clearly I have been beaten down by the medical system here one to many times to have much hope left for it.
      And you are right, clearly men made up the rules! 🙂


      • Ha!! I didn’t say I was hopeful that it would happen, just saying you’d think it wouldn’t be such a blanket rule. Anything in the medical field isn’t black and white, specific treatments shouldn’t be either. One way to do it doesn’t necessarily fit every person. It’s just dumb 😀


  2. That’s the problem with policy. Someone is always hurt by it. Sorry you have to deal with asinine government interference on your birth control options. 😦


    • You are right, policies never work perfectly. And, given that in many places birth control choices are not available, I guess I should be happy that at least I have the choice of birth control at all!


  3. That seems ridiculous. I understand why they have such requirements but you’d think that your Dr would understand your specific circumstance. That sounds like such a huge insult to injury, and pointless, in my honest opinion. hugs!


    • I really don’t think my Dr. has a choice in the matter so I honestly harbor no frustration at him. My frustration, and I think his as well, is directed at the medical system that sets out such ridiculous policies which really are just pointless!
      Anyways, thanks for letting me know that my frustration is justified! 🙂


    • I too think Amy is onto something…stupid rules governing the use of birth control and my body, clearly they must be the result of a man who has never experienced RPL/Infertility or even just read how a pregnancy test works. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Booo…. I understand this. It’s like what you’re going through isn’t bad enough, let’s just make it a little more cumbersome and painful. For me, it is the rub of something so bureaucratic during such an emotionally charged time. You aren’t treated like a person, but like a bunch of boxes that need to be checked.

    I’m totally with you on this.


  5. I get it that they want to confirm you’re not pregnant, but the “any time in the cycle” statement makes it so pointless. Just one more test for someone to pay for… What a racquet!


  6. Ugh! That is brutal hon. The system there sometimes really is the worst! Free health care is great, but at what emotional cost?! Sending you strength and love during this cycle as you have to endure these upcoming pee tests and the process of going back on birth control.


    • The nonsensical process is absolutely driving me crazy! But, it’s a system I cannot change (nor do I want to at this point) so I guess I have no choice but to suck it up and comply.
      I have no idea when I’ll actually schedule the appointment to get the procedure done, but I did drop off the prescription today after having it in my purse for a week or two. So, I guess I’m making progress.


      • That is definitely progress. Take your time hon. You’ll make the appointment when you’re ready.


  7. Ugh. You said it girl, ASININE! Oh, and totally insensitive. I’m sorry you have to jump through these hoops. On the bright side, with the IUD in, and your plans for adoption coming along, sex can be just that- sex. I know it won’t happen quickly or easily, but you will heal from this, and begin to enjoy your body again.


  8. Wow, that is really stupid! Sorry, couldn’t think of any eloquent way to put that. Who comes up with these arbitrary regulations? If you’re going to test for something (like a pregnancy) then it should be at a time when, duh, the pregnancy could be detected! A man must have written that.


    • Stupid is a great word to characterize this policy! In fact, it might be one of the best words to describe it.
      A man, who didn’t even bother to read the pregnancy text box where the sensitivity of it is clearly labelled on the box. It is not rocket science.


  9. Yes lets make a woman take a pregnancy test when there is absolutely no reason to. That totally makes sense. As for the STD thing, that is nuts too. We have seen several doctors relating to infertility and I can not tell you how many STD tests I have had. It does not seem to matter that I have been with my husband for 14 years.
    I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am sure you just want to get past this part and move on with things.


    • Oh, don’t even get me started on the number of STD tests I’ve had in the last 2 years! Every freaking miscarriage they test. Heck, I even had one ER doctor give me the worst exam of my life to test, because apparently the test from a few days before could have been inaccurate! Evidently, even though we are clearly trying to create a baby in a loving and monogamous relationship, the policies still force doctors to assume one of us is sleeping around. It drives me freaking crazy! Sorry, rant done.
      Thank you for your compassion and your understanding. You are so right, I do just want to get this over with, so we can move on.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Relieved Heartbreak* | My Perfect Breakdown

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