I’m Feeling Much Better Today
As you presumably guessed by reading my post yesterday, I was obviously not interested in looking for the silver lining which isn’t my typical way. And, quite clearly I let the feeling of fear and uncertainty linger.
Like everyone, I’m allowed a bad day here and there.
But, true to me, I never stay down for too long. I refuse to dwell on the negative, and I refuse to let fear dictate my life. So, like normal, I picked myself back up.
So, today, after allowing myself a day of being fearful of what could come next, I’m happy to report that I’m doing much better.
I have decided I am actually really okay with our last cycle not working. I know, crazy, eh? But honestly, again true to my nature, my practical and pragmatic side got me thinking that another month of not being pregnant is not a bad thing, at least not right now.
- This give my body more time to detox from gluten and therefore hopefully reduce any possible internal immune reactions that could be occurring. We just went gluten reduced just over a week ago. So, by not getting pregnant yet, it means my body has more time to get itself straightened out.
- My allergy to grass is always the worst in the summer (obviously, as the grass is dead in the winter), so getting pregnant in the middle of the summer may not be the smartest thing we could do particularly if I’m having some sort of underlying immune reaction.
- More time to work on being healthy and being happy is not a bad thing. For my husband and I, another month or two of just being relaxed and enjoying each other is probably more needed right now then I’d like to admit. 2 years of high risk, high stress pregnancies resulting in 5 miscarriages, is a lot for anyone or any couple to take. Another month off to continue to recollect ourselves will undoubtedly be a good thing for us.
- I’ve been asked to do some short-term contract work with my mentor. I can work from home part-time this month, and not be worried about any negative repercussions to a potential pregnancy. This is ideal for me, as I think it will also help reduce my desire to return to some sort of full-time work again.
- My husband’s ankle remains broken, making me responsible for 90% of things around the house. Yesterday’s x-rays indicated that virtually no healing has occurred, and so he is in the air cast for at least another 3 weeks, and likely more. So, he can spend a few more weeks healing up before we get pregnant again, because once we are, he will have to start doing a lot more around the house again as I will be limited in what I can do (i.e. no lawn mowing). So not being pregnant means we don’t have the hire the neighbours kid to do our yard work, at least not yet.
- I love summer, and I’m happy that our last month of amazing summer will not be dictated by a high risk pregnancy (we really only get 2-3 months of summer where I live, so we’ve got to make the most of them). This means, I can still sit out on the deck in the evening and have a mojito or a glass of wine and just be. We can also go camping and fishing without being worried about being too far away from a hospital should we end up in an emergency situation.
- To ensure I can see the silver lining in all of this, I booked us a short weekend get-a-way to the US. Not a romantic weekend, or anything like that, but a weekend to see one of our favourite bands live. A high risk pregnancy just wouldn’t be conducive to a concert/party weekend.
Anyways, that’s it for me today. I’m off to enjoy the long weekend filled with beautiful weather. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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