What If We Actually Get One?
So, what happens if we actually get a living, healthy child? I know, given our history this is kinda crazy to even be thinking about, but because my train of thought on this topic is just so crazy, I need to share it and give everyone out there a laugh at my crazy.
So, we always wanted 2 kids. Maybe 3. But, now, we’ve stopped even considering 2 or 3. We are now just hoping for our “one.” 99% of the time, we are careful not to go past the thought of one, but yet the odd time I let my brain wonder, I end up thinking “so if we have one, then it will be an only child” and that’s no good…only children are always a at least a little bit nuts – never learning to share; not being socialized well enough as a young child; getting stuck with dealing with dying parents on their own; having no best friend (and sometimes enemy) who is always with you; having no-one to play with on a rainy Saturday; etc. The list of only-child drawbacks just goes on and on and on.
Yes, I am seriously worrying about this!
I am worrying about how my non-existent child, who may never exist, will grow up as an only child!
Yes, when my rational brain is in charge, I know lots of these things can be fixed with good after-school activities, but some of these cannot and I would hate for my child to end up lonely in the future.
There is when I have to consciously force my rational brain to take charge and ask myself – we don’t even have one, so why am I wasting my time thinking about this? This is a problem to deal with when and if we ever get to one. And, then I have to consciously force the fears out that say, given our past history we likely won’t ever be lucky enough to even have the problems of an only-child. (It’s a bit of a vicious circle).
Maybe I should focus on all the good things about being an only child – constant love and attention from parents; more inheritance since you don’t have to divide things between your siblings; they will learn to make close friends who can be just as close as siblings; etc.
But focusing on the positives, seems so far away. Somehow it seems like the family dream – 2 kids – is fading further and further away. And, while we are working to accept that we may very likely never have children, at the same time, I am now trying to wrap my mind around many possible alternative versions of a family if we should ever have children.