Upcoming Birth-Mother Visit

I mentioned a while ago that we were trying to book a trip to visit our son’s birth mother.  We finally booked the trip and will be visiting this year.  We always said we’d visit, and it’s important to me that we honour our commitment, and provide the opportunity for our son to know his birth mother.

She lives in a bit of a weird place to for a long weekend away (i.e. it’s not a tourist destination). So when we have mentioned that we are travelling there, people ask us where we are going there of all places.  So, we simply say to visit Little MPB’s birth mom and sibling.

Most people just smile and say something like that’s great. Which, truth be told, is probably the most appropriate response.

Some people ask me more, like:

  • How does visiting make you feel? I’m the one booking the trip and paying for it.  Obviously I’m fine with the visit.
  • Are you worried about how he’ll react with her?  NopeKnowing his whole family, everyone who loves him, cannot be a bad thing.  In our minds, this is just like any visit to see extended family.
  • What is he loves her?  That would be great, she definitely loves him.  

I know people are trying to ask if I’ll be jealous about their relationship and how I feel about it.  But, my theory is I’ll answer the questions they ask, not the question they are actually trying to ask.

But for the record, no I wont be jealous.  I’m secure in my role as Little MPB’s mom.

I have to say, I wasn’t even nervous when we first considered booking this trip.  It’s not like the first time we talked to her on the phone or the first time we met her in person, when I was truly nervous!  Now, I see these visits as just part of our lives.  I view this trip just like I view any trip to visit family – there will be airports, planes, car rentals, hotels, eating out, finding kid friendly activities, and great conversation.  Oh, and since it’s a trip to the USA, there will also be shopping and hopefully a visit with a blogger or two.  But like any other trip to visit family, there will be stresses and annoyances, but there will also be love and laughter.  And the love and laughter is what makes the international travel worth it!

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10 Comments on “Upcoming Birth-Mother Visit

  1. Oh, hooray — I hope you have a great trip. If Little MPB is half as baby-obsessed as S, I bet meeting his little sibling will be a real treat for him (for like five minutes). 🙂

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  2. How exciting! I’m so happy for you. Be prepared for a lot of emotion and processing, even when it’s a great visit. It hits you at a gut level. Give everyone some grace through what will be a wonderful trip. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • You speak wise words my friend. Thank you. I can honestly say I needed to read this exactly when you shared it. I think the processing has just started (which of course means I’m writing a lot and will share when I’m ready).

      Liked by 1 person

  3. (Here from Mel’s Roundup).
    If only those people could read this post. Mind you, I also like your approach of answering only the questions asked. And your answers are perfect. I hope you have a great trip.

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