Potty Training Update
As many of you remember, when Little MPB was 2 years old, we pushed hard on the potty training front.
I gave up after 3 days. Mr. MPB gave up after 11 days.
We followed the Oh Crap! Potty Training method. Which is adamant that boys are not slower then girls and potty training can be successfully done with a 2 year old and really needs to be done by 30 months I cannot comment on boys being slower then girls, since I only have a boy and no comparison point. But, I will say I suspect that boys are slower just based on my circle of friends.
Instead, what I will say, and will stand behind, is that I have no doubt that some 2 year olds are readybut I firmly believe my 2 year old was not ready. Some might say it was our fault as parents because we didn’t try hard enough. But, regardless of it was my fault for not trying hard enough or Little MPB just not being ready, I know my child, and I know the stress that the Oh Crap! method was causing him at 2 years old was not worth it. I also have to mention that the book did not site its scientific sources on potty training 2 years olds, which is a bit of a pet-peeve of mine. But, I can site our pediatrician who made it clear to us based on academic research, very few kids will be successfully potty trained at 2 years old. In fact, completely in contradiction to the book, our pediatrician recommended waiting until at least 2.5, if not 3, when kids are more likely to succeed at potty training (which happens to align with the comments we’ve received from both my online friends and our real-life friends).
Needless to say, we tried with our 2 year old and we failed with our 2 year old. And we are totally okay with that. (I can assure you, this wont be my last parenting failure).
So what have we been doing since we gave up? We have been taking a no pressure approach. Meaning, we figure Little MPB has to participate in potty training as he controls his bladder, and there was just no point on pushing him. We did sort-of try to encourage the potty a bit more in the last few months, but we faced a bit of push-back with our daycare when we asked them to encourage him to use the potty – the new teachers in his room just weren’t interested in helping. So, we’ve done basically nothing.
So when are we going to re-initiate potty training? Soon, but we’ve made a few changes to our approach. First, we’ve decided to not be so stuck on the Oh Crap methodology. It may work great for some, but it didn’t prove very successful for us. So, we are going to learn what works best for Little MPB and work with him, not work towards the rules in a book. Second, Little MPB just moved up a room in daycare, and one of his new teachers is absolutely, positively, 110% dedicated to potty training. She asked if she can start encouraging Little MPB to use the potty, and we were like Yes Please!! We have agreed that for now she’ll encourage him to go when the other kids are going, because peer pressure in the potty training world can be a great thing. And, once he is over his current cold and he is settled into the new daycare room, we will begin a real potty training effort. She will work with him during the days, and we will work with him at home. And, we will work with her method, as she helps successfully potty train all the other kids that go through her room.
And so, I am optimistic that within the next 4-6 weeks he may actually be potty trained. And, I am confident that before he turns 3 in a few months time, he will be potty trained.
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We started training A yesterday. Mostly because she refuses to keep her diaper on if she can get access to it and frankly, she’s hard enough time. Hangs without adding in onesie snaps every single time. We had 1 success yesterday, hopefully, we’ll have 2 today. She’s a stubborn, willful child so wish us luck, lol.
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The best thing we did was just let Cora lead the way. I strongly believe every kiddo is different with potty training and they will let you know. I think this is one of those things you can’t push. Good on you to recognize what works best for your kid! Everyone eventually gets out of diapers, no one graduates from HS with Mom still changing them:) Haha
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I believe little MPB will be ready this time.
My 2 cents and a bit harsh to b honest: books are written by doctors, who may or may not have kids of their own. watching a child in a pediatric setting and then getting parents world over to follow that methodology and insisting that it will work, is like me writing a book on how to take care of “all fishes” because I watch one 24/7.
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I also read somewhere that paeds and gastroenterologists and urologists see far less issues with kids trained later rather than those trained at 2. They are a little more mature and their bladders are a bit bigger and they have better control. I figure I will toilet train when he actually starts letting me know before he goes, we might have a potty around in the bathroom but no pressure to use it.
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I think a lot of parents sleep-train and potty-train their kids for their own convenience and while it’s not neccesarily harmful, it’s not in the best interest of the child. So I applaud you for listening to your kid and not a book or theory.
BG didn’t potty train until a couple months prior to her third birthday. She was not enthusiastic about it (it was emotional for her) but she was physically and mentally ready, and we were committed (consistent) so it worked. She still wears pull-ups at night and I have no problem with that, often she is dry but sometimes during growth spurts she wets herself more. She also still wears training underwear (the kind with extra padding in the bum) and those are handy and keep her dry when she pee’s just a tiny bit on her way to the potty. Best wishes for a smooth transition! XOXO
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We potty trained both boys at 33 months. (Their birthdays are a day apart and we trained them both the spring break before they turned 3 – so they were literally the exact same age when we trained them both to the day!). I firmly believe waiting past 2 was the best thing for our kids. I’ve known plenty of kids who trained at 2 and they’ve had no issues at all, but that’s them. We do what works for our kids!
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I call myself an Oh Crap dropout. I tried it with my twins and it was a disaster. I tell people that the boot camp is great for introducing potty training but not for actually training them. I will admit that I missed the “Golden window” because it happened during holidays, birthdays, and right before a trip to Disney World. I have a boy and a girl, so I can compare the two genders. My boy was more resistant at first, and took longer to accept the potty as a replacement for diapers. When he did though, it was like a switch and he stopped having accidents. I can’t even remember his last accident, although I’ve probably jinxed myself now. My daughter was happy and eager to sit on the potty but it took her ages to consistently stay dry. Even now, almost two years later, she only goes a day or two between “wet undies” accidents. She only recently started wearing undies to bed and she often has small nighttime accidents. My son, for night time, again was like a switch flipped inside him. He just started having a dry pull up at night. I think he’s only had one nighttime accident since then. So in my experience, my boy was harder to train but “finished” faster than my girl, who took to it faster but still has accidents often.
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yeahhhh I don’t bother PT until the boys are 3 and up. Then it’s a quick and easy experience for the whole family. Unless absolutely necessary (school or camp mandates it) I don’t see any reason to rush the process. My oldest PT at 3y3mos and did it in 2 days. My youngest 3y1mos and in 2 days as well. Meaning day 1 accidents galore, day 2 maybe 1 or 2 accidents, day 3 totally dry and asking to go to the bathroom. Good luck!
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That daycare teacher sounds like gold. I would totally do whatever she said if she was willing to help potty train my kid with the help of the routine and peer pressure of daycare! We are also waiting it out — all the advice we’ve heard/read is that you either need to train way before or way after a new baby, and S just wasn’t ready way before, so we figure it’ll be way after. The big-kid bed transition was the one thing we pushed pre-baby because we needed the crib, and it went OK but was a big deal for my kiddo who loves his routines. Potty training just does not seem worth it with a kid who’s not showing any interest and shows plenty of stubbornness. Continuing to change diapers seems so much easier, even if it takes us past the dreaded age of three. Fortunately our daycare doesn’t require them to be potty-trained to move up to the preschool (which S is supposed to do in March), but nor are they willing to help with potty-training (they tell us he needs to be trained at home for two weeks before they’ll start taking him to the potty at daycare). Good luck to you — I will be very interested to hear how it goes!
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I didn’t use any program, but I also tried with both at 2 years. I took away the diaper (and carpets) and started putting them to potty in the morning, after meals etc. No result. They peed everywhere, sometimes also in the potty but with no consistency. So I put the diaper back and tried the same thing again at 2.5 years. At that age they both just started using the potty with absolutely no problem or training (my son actually a little earlier than my daughter). I took the night diaper away when it was dry 3-4 nights in a row. It was so easy and I’m SO happy that I didn’t waste energy into trying to train them early just because some others do it and because it is perhaps doable (though environmental reasons are valid, but we cloth diapered our son and by the time my daughter came they had developed a system here for burning disposables without causing much pollution).
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Lots of individual variations in when kids are ready for toilet learning. I have some friends whose sons weren’t fully potty trained until closer to age 4.
One of my twin sons trained easily a couple of months before his 3rd birthday. His brother was still having lots of accidents as they approached their 3rd birthday but got on board quickly once he heard that his brother would be moving up to the “big kids” class at daycare without him because that class required the kids to be diaper free. It took him less than two days to master once he made up his mind to do it.
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Oh, this is a lesson I keep having to learn – to be flexible with my developing, learning little boy and not get caught up in the rules in a book!
Also, way to go, new teacher! It really does take a village to raise a child, and I love that she is willing to help him during his school time.
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First of all, how is little mpb already almost 3!!!??? I feel like he should still be a baby!
Second, I think this is a great plan! Neither of my kids were ready at 2 but once they were ready, it was so much less stressful. 🙂
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Good luck! Potty training can be tedious but also such a big accomplishment for everyone! As you know we had great success with the “oh crap” method but I honestly think that is because we caught Luke and his window of readiness. Had he not been initiating things himself I don’t think I would’ve tried to train him at 21 months. I do think a lot of people meet most resistance when they try to train a child who is truly not physically or mentally ready. I love your confidence in knowing Little MPB will get there and it’s great you have daycare to help! Keep us updated!
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I bet he takes to it soooo quickly if daycare are also on board. With S once he was in the potty training room he really took off. I’m trying to hold H off until the new year as I don’t fancy an international ski trip with a newly trained toddler. All those layers for accidents plus long haul make me go eeeeeep. I hope she let’s me wait!!! She will be in the potty training room next year so it will be so much easier if she just does it then!
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we tried with my 2 1/2 year old son (and occasionally ask him if he wants to try) but I just don’t think he’s ready! My daughter trained halfway between 2 1/2 and 3…but she was clearly ready. He is not. I’m not going to push it! Will watch for updates on your blog!
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I dont believe in pressurising a child regatding this issue. They will just hate it that way. What we did was, i let him wear pants (regular underwear) and we bought several long sport trousers. He peed several times on himself and decided to ask for the toilet because it didn’t feel comfortable being wet even for a short time. He was 3.5 at that time. Took him 3 days to be toilet trained.so try the same approach. Nothing to lose. But dont stress over ot. He will get there, sooner or later.
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