Potty Training Is HARD
Yes, you read that correctly. I am pretty sure I am not the first parent to speak these words.
But, here’s the thing, I just don’t think it should be this hard.
We have done 11 full days of potty training with the help of a very supportive daycare. Mr. MPB has the role of lead potty trainer. I have the role of lead accident cleaner-upper. We both have the role of potty partiers when there are successes.
We have also both put away our phones and had our eyes on our kid every single second he is awake – honestly, the no phone thing has been wonderful. But that’s it. Nothing else has been even remotely close to enjoyable. We are watching him like a hawk yet giving him space to choose go use the potty rather then us forcing him to, we are trying every strategy possible to get our potty resistant kid to use the potty, we have not left the house for more then a quick outing right after a pee, etc.. We are not living, we are simply pee obsessed. We have about 1/4 successes and 3/4 fails – that’s not a great average. Life has not been fun.
Maybe it’s time to buy this poster?
I know they say kids his age can be potty trained, and they say parents have to be patient. But, I think, even with the help of a helpful potty consultant the Adult MPB have reached our limit and it’s just not happening for us right now.
So, while we don’t love changing diapers, I also don’t love negotiating with a toddler. In fact, it’s not much a negotiation. Rather it feels much more like continually hitting a brick wall.
And so we are officially suspending our potty training efforts. We admit defeat, for now. We will make the move from diapers to pullups, but that’s it. We will re-try in a few months when he expresses some sort of interest and/or we have the desire to put ourselves through hell again.
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My Perfect Breakdown 
I am sorry. I can tell you, you are stressing out over nothing. Each kid potty trains at his or her own pace, don’t hurry it. Moving a kid out of diapers is not an achievement, and don’t express your success or failure based on his ability to pee/ poo in the potty.
Its not a big deal honestly, I know people world wide have kids who start potty training at 1 year age, but if you are so stressed out, its going to trickle down to him.
*2 words of honest advice from a been there mom*
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What she 👆said!!!!
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I cannot even begine to tell you how many times I’ve thought about your comment of – so young? I know you knew this wasn’t going to go well, and you were so polite at telling me that. And of course, we put ours entire family through potty training hell for nearly 2 weeks because we didn’t listen.
So my friend, thanks for always being honest with me. 🙂
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Been there done that situation… which is why I was wondering why you are doing it so soon..
I tried to force G to get potty ready, and to this date, he has a potty fear. Id hate that for little MPB. There was a point when he would be diaper free the whole day, but when it came to doing the big job, he would insist I put on his diaper and if I didn’t put the diaper on, he wouldn’t poop. Yup, we resisted and he had to be given a mild enema after 4 days because he was in pain. He hated the potty, associated it with our negative emotions..
With A, I have learnt the hard way, I don’t care.. the kid can potty train himself when he is ready! No pressure at all! And we are all happy.
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Good for you for trying and for recognizing when your child just isn’t ready! So much of working with kids is just trial and error to figure out what works. So I think waiting a few months is a great idea! I am absolutely dreading the potty training days!
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No, it shouldn’t be this hard… He’s not ready and that’s ok. Good on you for realising that and putting a stop to it… The last thing you want is for him to feel any shame around his ‘failures’ or for it to become a power struggle.
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I used to work in a daycare and also have done my share of nanny gigs– you are not alone, potty training is hard! I have also noticed that boys typically are potty trained later than girls, if he’s not quite ready, don’t put too much pressure on yourself!
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It felt like my son was never going to potty train, so I totally understand your feelings about your situation. He was on the verge of mastering it but was just too stubborn to make the change because he would get busy and didn’t want to be bothered to take potty breaks. One day, my mom was watching him and he insisting on wearing his dinosaur costume all day. She agreed with the condition that he couldn’t pee in it because big boys don’t pee in their dinosaur costume. From that day on, nights too, he’s been potty trained with no accidents. It happens when kids are ready for it and trying to make it happen before then just makes everyone frustrated.
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I already said this but my son REFUSED potty training three times until he came home from school one day at 3 1/2 and told me he was going to use the potty now. Voila he sure did and a week later he was fully potty trained. I’m telling you it is the way to go!
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Yes! My son potty trained in less than a week past 3. When he’s ready, it’ll be soooo easy!
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Like I said before…my nephews all potty trained after 3. A lot of people had rude comments about it, but honestly…the boys were NOT ready any earlier. As a fellow Canadian, I know the race to get them potty trained since they started Kindergarten the year they turn 4…but still, give it time. Take a break for your sanity and come back to it when you are all good and ready!
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Good idea to quit. Little MBP will be ready when he’s ready and everyone will be less stressedin the meantime 😊 maeve was just about 2.5 when it all clicked but we didn’t even start until she showed us very clear signs of bring ready. Kudos to the people and kiddos that do the “3 day potty training” and are successful. I’m convinced they are 1. Unicorns 2. The kids were totally ready and that’s why it actually worked 3. Liars LOL
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Your number 2 is the right answer! The three-day process worked for our oldest like magic, and for our second one, it was absolute failure. I attribute it to one of the kids being ready, and the other one not being. It really is that simple – you have to do it when they are ready.
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A friend of mine has a son the same age as mine (almost 2.5) and recently they did the 3 day potty training method, or whatever it’s called. Her son picked up on it amazingly fast. He now only wears a pull up at night and otherwise is going to the washroom on his own free will. I consider this child a unicorn. This is not normal. Because every other parent I have talked to about potty training has expressed the same frustration as you have. Most kids don’t just pick up on it and then are perfect from that day forward. She even claimed that he only had two accidents before he figured out. I’m telling you….he’s a unicorn! My son will sit on his little potty whenever I’m going to the bathroom, but he refuses to take his diaper or pants off while he sits on it. I tried once a few weeks ago and was met with a meltdown of epic proportions. That was my indicator that he isn’t ready. I think you’re doing the right thing by listening to Little MPB and also your gut. There is no point in putting unnecessary stress on yourselves when Little MPB is clearly telling you that he’s just not ready! Lots of time before potty training! I promise you, he will be out of diapers before he heads off to university!
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Yep. This was my experience with Tru also. I tried several times before he finally decided that it was time. I think he was 26 months. Then Levi just trained himself, also at 26 months, also after earlier failed attempts. It’s no fun, I can certainly sympathize with you there!!
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Good for you for knowing when to throw in the towel! What you’re going through right now sounds like what we went through the first time we tried with Bryson. I remember the frustration, the irritation, and the tears. What I can’t understand, was how hard it was for him to get the pooping thing down. For God’s sake, they can tell even when they’re wearing diapers when that’s going to happen! Oh my goodness, the tears…
Bravo, mama!
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I second that! My son was 3 1/2 before he potty trained but for months before he decided he was ready to potty train, he’d do what we called “the poop dance”. He would go to a corner or somewhere by himself and contort his body, visually obvious that he was struggling to hold the poop in. “Do you have to go poop?” NOOOOO!!!!! (straining to hold it in), put him on the potty and he’d just refuse to go until he physically had no choice. It was a major headache to convince him that everyone does indeed poop, including him.
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Oh MPB, I am SO intimidated by potty training. I feeldefeated and we haven’t even truly started. But since BG is going to be 3 in March and is fully capable of articulating when she wants to be changed and stays dry overnight, I know it’s time. Her peers are potty trained and even younger kids are potty trained. I know she *can* and will do it, as long as I am dilligent and don’t f*ck it up. So I feel a lot of pressure. And I’ve been preparing–I bought some nice soft organic training underwear (hanna andersson had a sale) and TONS of little toys to bribe her with and I’m installing a bookshelf (ikea spice rack) on the wall next to her potty so she can look at books and I printed out a potty chart and bought stickers. Like, I have put it off too long but now I am going to give it EVERYTHING I’ve got. I’ll report back on how that goes. Wish me luck. XO
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You’re not going to f* it up!!!
I’m predicting that all of your preparations are needless (I get why you did them – NOT judging!) because BG sounds ready and she’s going to get it easily! I hope so, anyway! Sending you positive potty vibes!!!!
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I’m sorry that you had such a difficult time with the potty training but you have my total respect for trying so hard! But you’re right to take a break now. Being a working parent is hard enough – the flow of everyday life should be as easy as possible, I think.
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Props to you for trying. Nora, who will be three in March, will sit on the potty, but really has no interest in actually peeing or pooping in it. And part of the problem is probably me, as daycare asks her all the time to sit on the potty, but I rarely think to ask her. I think I’m avoiding the whole process because I’m terrified. I don’t want to fail, and I know everyone says every child is different, but I still feel like Nora being potty-trained or not, is a reflection on me.
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My son is only 10 months, so we’re not quite potty training yet, but it’s only a matter of time!
Hi! I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! 🙂
You can read more about it here. https://thechroniclesofnaptime.wordpress.com/2018/01/10/liebster-award/
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I hope you find it much easier when little MPB is ready. I think that’s the ONLY reason we had it easy with Luke. He was telling us and showing interest so I jumped on it. I think having to train him if it was my idea would have been very difficult. I hope this goes much smoother in the future!
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I am so relieved on your behalf — sounds like you made the right choice! I am hopeful that when he’s ready it will be a breeze. 🙂
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That is totally what I would do too. At least now you are all set for what to do when you get back into it.
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Thank you for sharing all the good and bad. It’s helpful to know for the future. I’m sorry this didn’t work out this time around. How frustrating.
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I TOTALLY feel you!! We bought a potty and started talking about it this summer (18 months old), then between thanksgiving & Christmas she surprised us and asked to start using the potty at daycare. For 4 days she did amazing, then the 5th day when anyone asked her if she needed to potty the answer was “no”! Then Christmas came, we had company and chaos and everything went out the window. I don’t know when we’ll pick it up again, but we’re on a break now too!
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My daughter is 30 months, I think? I can’t do the month thing. lol Anyways, she totally regressed after I had my son and now she will tell me when I ask her if she needs to go potty, “no, I’m fine.” omg.
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This is so hilarious and yet so true. The struggle is real. Sending you lots of love, determination and chocolates (try bribing, it could work). 🙂
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