2018

I have never made a New Years Resolution.  And, I can honestly say, I’m not about to start now.

Yet, I have noticed a trend over the last few years that has peaked my intetest.  Its not to make a New Years Resolution but instead choosing a word to represent something meaningful to you in the upcoming year.

This idea intrigues me.

And so I think, what could my word be, using inspiration from words that others have chosen….

Healing – I think that should have been my word for the last 3 years, maybe even 4 years.  I think I’ve been working so hard to heal from the emotional and physical hell we went through loosing 5 pregnancies.  By no means am I cured, nor do I think that I ever will be, rather all of this is all just part of who I am today.  I also do not believe healing is a one time thing – it ebbs and flows with life.  But right now, I don’t think healing is front and center in my life so it’s not fitting for 2018.

Thankful – I am beyond thankful for my son and my husband.  I am beyond thankful for my friends in blogging land.  I am thankful I have managed to start my own consulting firm and for the most part I’m managing being my own boss and making enough money to contribute in a meaningful way to our household.  Yet, to be honest, none of these thankful things are new to 2018 either.  When I look back over the last few years, I firmly believe I live in a nearly perpetual place of gratitude for the family we have become.

Balance – This might just be the word I need to focus on this year.  I suck at balance.  As in really suck at it.  Just scanning through my blog there are so many post about my struggle with balance. I struggle with over committing myself (and my family).  I struggle with my personal commitments to fitness (way behind on that right now), work (always feeling like I’m behind), family (always wishing I had more time) and house (does it matter if my house falls into a state of disrepair because I don’t have energy to constantly pick up crap).  And let’s not forget about fitting in time for basic self-care (asides from writing, which is usually squeezed in between work projects, I’m doing nothing for me.  Reading, a passion of mine, is just not happening.  And, don’t even ask about my state of my nails or my eyebrows, it’s embarrassing) and time with friends is almost non-existent.  Most days I feel like I’m being pulled in 1000 directions and short changing everything I do.

The problem I have with the word balance, is that no matter what type of promise I make to myself to do better in achieving balance, I fall flat each and every time.  I suspect this has to do with my perfectionist nature, so no matter how great I do, it just doesn’t feel good enough to me.  And so, I think I have to be realistic with this word.  Balance represents some sort of an abstract, unachievable thing to me.  I desperately want it, but I don’t think I’ll ever achieve it.

So maybe the right word for 2018 is simply calm.  Seeking and embracing moments of calm.  No matter how small, or how big. 

What’s your word?

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17 Comments on “2018

  1. I would have to say mine should be ‘acceptance’

    Accepting that I’m going to have to make changes. Accepting that I’m not ready to even think about trying to have another kid, and that I don’t need to be hard on myself about it or over think it. Accepting that what my MIL did and said shouldn’t have such a huge effect on my life and decisions in the future, but it does. And accepting that she is the love of my life’s mother and I will have to tolerate her sometimes. Accepting that I will have to leave my comfort zone more and that I will have to say good bye to some people.

    I have to accept that I won’t be able to go to sleep with a clean house every night (or most nights!) There will be nights that I leave dirty dishes in the kitchen because I need to choose to sleep instead. And I have to let go of it and relax!!

    I am not there yet, but I know I have to get there. I have to accept myself and my life as it goes.

    Great post lady! Thanks for making me think about it!

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  2. I’ve often wondered what those you consider themselves balanced feel like? Do they feel refreshed? Energized? Motivated? I’m not sure as like you there is very little balance in my life. I hope you can find ways to feel more “balanced.” I also totally get what you’re saying about feeling like your sacrificing something be being balanced. Like if you work out then will you miss something with little MPB or a date with a friend or perhaps a work deadline? It sucks that to feel balanced we also have to feel like something else is being neglected.

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    • That’s a really interesting question! What is the goal of feeling balanced? How should it make you feel? I guess my own personal answer is that balance for me means feeling fulfilled in multiple ways (as a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, researcher, friend, human being). It means feeling like I’m not dreadfully neglecting some core facet of my identity. It means achieving my goals and giving back to the rest of the world, being a functional member of the society I live in. I’m glad you made me think about it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think balance is an illusion for a working mother, FWIW.

    My word for this year is “health.” I chose it because I am getting to an age (mid-40s) where things are only going downhill from here if I don’t make this a priority. Between family history and personal history, health should really be my focus. . . and the word encompasses everything from better food choices to exercise to stress reduction.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think my word is hopeful. I’m hopeful this pregnancy goes well, hopeful C adjusts well to her sibling/s, hopeful we continue to do ok financially so I can continue to stay home with the kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post. I think we all struggle with balance sometimes, It’s so hard to try and be the perfect parent/dog owner/employee/ wife/ homeowner and still have a life for ourselves! My words are going to be ‘let go’ and I need to use it when I am in situations that are out of my control to stop me getting stressed out at the fact I cannot control them! Plans changing last minute has to be my biggest problem but I need to try and let go and just go with the flow more!

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  6. I think my word this year might be “persistence.” This year is about pursuing my goals (tenure, another kid, keeping friend/family relationships strong) and not giving up when it gets hard. It feels hard right now, but I’m also hopeful that if I keep working towards my goals they are achievable. Of course, ideally I could be both persistent *and* calm, like you! Here’s to 2018!

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  7. I like your points about balance because it got me thinking and you know I think the probably with striving for it is there is an implication with it that we can have it all and be balanced but that is simply not true. Balance is achieved only if we decide to let go of some of our ideals. Give a little here to get a little there type of thing and letting go of the rest. I’ve never really thought about that before. It’s an interesting idea. May even prompt me to blog again!! Happy New Year. I didn’t do the word thing but if I did I think mine would be health.

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  8. Nice idea. I think my word for 2018 would also be thankful! I’m really focusing on things I can be grateful for now. Balance is a good word. I understand about being a perfectionist and having high expectations for things. Sometimes you need to accept less and not put so much pressure on yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mine would be Enjoying.
    I want to enjoy every second of this year no matter what we do. Last year was amazing but I spent a lot of it worrying. I want to let go of that and just enjoy life.
    Happy new year to you!!

    Liked by 1 person

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