Gym Culture & Body Shaming
I’m mostly happy with my body and after everything I went through with 5 miscarriages and medically required limitations on exercise, the fact that I can even say I’m mostly happy is huge progress for me. I’m proud that I’ve worked so hard to get to a point of mostly happy. I no longer look in the mirror and see a body that killed 5 babies before I see anything else. This is huge personal progress – the kind of mental health progress that deserves to be celebrated. Before experiencing all our loses I never once doubted my body – I never doubted it’s capabilities and I never doubted my appearance or the presentation I make to the world on a daily basis. Our losses destroyed my confidence in my body and so I am proud of the healthy healing strides I’ve made over the last few years.
And, as I’ve been working to reclaim self-compassion and understanding, I also made a commitment to my physical health. I started by running multiple times a week. Then, I decided to join a spin class that was conveniently close to my house. For almost 9 months now, I’ve been going to spin class consistently 3-5 times a week. As a new mom and the owner of my own professional consulting firm, this has been a huge time commitment for me. I have no idea how much weight I’ve lost since I started working out regularly (I intentionally don’t know my weight), but I do know that I’ve gained muscle tone and I generally feel healthy. And that’s all I need to know, because that’s all that matters to me.
(As an aside to any possible trolls out there who feel like saying horrible things – I’m 34 and I wear a size 8 – I’m not pencil thin, but I also don’t believe I’m overweight. And while I may not wear Gucci or Prada or other high end brand name clothing, I do put myself together decently enough wearing pretty average clean and age appropriate clothing on a daily basis).
I can honestly have never even cared what other people think about my body, my weight, my appearance or any aspect of my lifestyle. All of these intimate personal details have all served me well thus far in my life, so I’ve never bothered to care what other think. Simply, I’ve always lived my life for me.
.
Until today, when the reality of what someone else thinks about me was made so apparent that I had no choice but to hear it.
Today, the owner of the spin studio said some horrible things about my physical appearance. She single handedly made me feel worse about myself then probably anyone ever has in my entire life. It felt like I was living inside some sort of cruel mean-girl teenage drama. Honestly, I had no idea this type of shit is actually said in real life. To say I’m upset would be an understatement. Her words were cruel, unnecessarily so.
I can honestly say I’ve never been so humiliated in my life. There is simply no excuse for her words and her actions, rationally I know this. It was nothing short of bullying.
I’ve thought about writing out exactly what happened. I’ve thought about naming them publically so others are aware that this is how they treat their paying client. I’ve thought about posting horrible (but honest) reviews on google and yelp. She actually sent her comments via email with increadibly condesending instructions on how to change, so I can very easily share exactly what happened with anyone and everyone, if I so choose. And a large part of me would love to stand up and give her and the studio a giant F-YOU, preferably in a way that it will hurt their business, because money talks.
But, I honestly don’t have that in me, at least not right now. Instead I’m channelling my inner Michelle Obama and reminding myself “when they go low, we go high“. I’m better then that. So for now I’ve decided to just walk away and lick my wounds in the corner knowing in a few days I’ll move past this.
That said, Mr. MPB was so upset on my behalf he actually called and gave them a piece of his mind and demanded my membership be cancelled immediately without their standard cancellation notice period. I don’t like other people fighting my battles, in fact I hate it. But I knew how upset he was/is and I knew he needed to say his piece and practically someone had to cancel the membership because there is no way I am ever spending another penny supporting that business. The shocker of their conversation is that she actually tried to defend her comments, and took no responsibility for how cruel she was to me. In fact, she didn’t apologize nor did she even acknowledge that I would be deeply upset by her words and instead attempted to justify her words.
.
All this aside, right now I can honestly say, I’m really worried about losing the momentum of months of consistent fitness, this is the type of thing that can easily deter me from working out. No-one deserves to be treated the way I was today, and I’m just not prepared to go through that again anytime soon, so right now I jusy don’t think I can return to a gym setting and be part of that type of culture. I’m not really sure what to do, but I need to find a new fitness routine, and I need to do it immediately as to not break the habit.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
My Perfect Breakdown 
What the F did she say? and really? what was she smoking to say something nasty to a paying client? You want me to troll her? I can do that, I can.. 🙂
Have you tried Zumba?
LikeLiked by 3 people
I love the troll offer. Funny enough my husband said I should name the company here and let everyone go after them, it serves them right! They’d have no idea what hit them if they got multiple negative reviews all of the sudden.
I have never tried Zumba, maybe I should?
LikeLiked by 2 people
If you like Latin music and dancing in general, its fun.
Zumba is more dance based aerobics (or so they say, I have 2 left feet and enjoy it). its quite intense, at least I sweat profusely but enjoy it.
Its my dream to be a size 8 (UK, not US)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope that you find another outlet for your physical activity in a more friendly and welcoming setting. Just challenge your frustration at this person and find something that makes you feel good!
On another note I think it’s wonderful that you have always been so accepting of your body. I was always proud of the physical feats my body was able to accomplish and then the miscarriages and losing Oliver really made me hate my body. For the first time I didn’t trust my body anymore and that was very hard to accept. I’ve come to be more accepting and Ive realized how miraculous our bodies really are regardless of shape or size.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, a more friendly and welcoming setting would be preferable.
I am sorry you understand so well how miscarriage and loss destroy your relationship with your body. I honestly never realized how detrimental something like this would be to my mental health. But I am also glad to hear that you are more accepting of your body again now – it’s nice to know that we can heal. And, as always it’s comforting to know that you understand all of this. Thank you.
LikeLike
I am so sorry you had to read/hear words like this. I’m a work out rat and I have a ton of friends who come to me and say “help, where do I start?” Starting is the hardest part for this exact reason-people are afraid of what other people in the class or at a gym are going to think of them. They are afraid of hurtful words when they are only trying to better themselves. This person who did this to you is a straight up bitch and should be called out. Personally, I would call her out. On social media, especially since you (hubby) did do the high road thing and talked to her one on one first.
Ask around, see what other places people have enjoyed and get back into something ASAP. You are right, once the momentum slows it is sooo hard to start back up again. Chin high and kick some ass girl:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing! Honestly, I think what’s so weird is that I’ve been going for so long. I was one of the first people who signed up for a monthly membership when they opened as a new business. Why now? And, honestly, her comments didn’t even make sense – I’ve asked a lot of people in my real life and they’ve all been shocked and equally as confused as I am. It’s almost like the email was meant for someone else, not that sending it to someone else would have been okay because what she said is NEVER okay. It was just so weird…
Also, I do think I will write reviews on every single review site I can find in a few weeks once the shock and hurt has diminished a bit. I think other people deserve to know how they could be treated.
Any ideas for a good all-around work out? 🙂
LikeLike
That is seriously strange, I agree! Did something happen that she turned and took some heat out on you? Either way, no appropriate. I like you idea of waiting till you cool off to write some reviews. That is smart. Then they won’t come off as crazy:)
I’m a huge yoga, Piyo and HIIT fan. Most of it I can do at home with my kid crawling on me but I do go to the gym for some classes as I help with the Piyo class. There is also a great site that I use fitnessblender.com. Great videos to try at home, short and sweet and if you choose a course they are super cheap. I recommend to all the mammas who struggling leaving the house! Good luck mamma!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. I am so sorry this happened to you. So sorry. That’s terrible. Props to you for taking the high road, because I would have blasted that shit everywhere I could! The fact that she’s clueless that she did anything wrong and refuses to take responsibility for her words is just shameful. She has no business being in this business!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are right, she has no business being in this business! And I do believe eventually what goes around comes around, even if it doesn’t happen right away. Eventually it will, it’s just a matter of time.
I do think part of why I’m in the high road mentality right now is that I was so incredibly shocked by her words and the fact that she emailed it and cc’d another instructor. Like, WTF?! My first thought when I read it was, is this really for me? This just makes no sense. Then I realized it didn’t matter if it was for me or for someone else, because it’s just so unacceptable it should never be said.
And I do think I will end up writing honest reviews on any and every site I can find in a few weeks, once I’ve calmed down a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems to me she has issues since she allowed herself such a behaviour. Regardless of what she thinks, there is a way of passing her views, suggestions and advice. Once you sigest all what has happened, write a review or whatever that could be benegicial in this situation. You are a strong person, but there are women out there who will really be affected by that bully. And all shouts to your husband! Let him defend his lady….this is what knights are for;)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Holy wow. I can hardly believe a fitness instructor would do that. You’d think they of all people know how important it is to be positive and supportive for anyone and everyone at every stage of their journey. I’m glad Mr. MPB canceled your membership – they don’t deserve another penny from you.
On the one hand, the high road is important. But on the other hand, I think you can share your experiences and warn others who might be equally wounded (or worse!) by such harsh treatment without being mean or cruel. I actually think it’s important that other potential customers know about that kind of treatment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for this! I agree, clearly we had to cancel the membership right away – they promised Mr. MPB it would be cancelled with no further charges to my visa, and we will be watching and we will go after them if they dare to charge me!
Also, I know you are right, I do have to write online reviews – other deserve to know how I was treated because no-one else should ever experience that. I think I’ll give it a week or two until I calm down a bit and then I’ll starting adding reviews to any and every review site out there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This makes me so angry. People who are in the business of fitness should be supporting their clients (yes, clients…you are PAYING), not shaming them. I’m glad Mr. MPB called for you, I would have wanted to give them a piece of my mind.
You are a beautiful person. I am glad to “know” your kindness, strength, sense of humor, support, and so much more. Hugs and love.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly my thoughts!! Support your clients don’t knock them down. It made no sense. As Mr. MPB said, if their goal was to get you to quit going, they sure did a great job of it because there really was no other possible outcome.
And thank you so much for your kind words. It’s amazing how hurtful words so easily make me (and probably others) forget kind words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry this happened to you. As an adult, this woman should have known better. I hate to say it, but she is one of the direct reasons kids these days are so hard on each other. If an adult doesn’t know any better, then they teach the kids to not know any better. I went through a situation at my gym about a month ago where two teenagers who work out there referred to me as “the chubby girl” when they thought I couldn’t hear them. It hurt me quite badly and I kept trying to remind myself that they are just teenagers and they don’t know my life or that my body has been hugely changed because of having a baby. But the words still hurt. I stopped going for a few weeks until a co-worker, who also works out there, talked me into returning. I went back, but only because it is the only option of a gym near my work and H’s daycare. I think you are doing the right thing not returning and giving them money. I think you’re also doing the right thing giving yourself a period to calm down and build yourself back up before you write reviews. I think that’s when you can get your words out exactly how you want to. I don’t know if you are into doing workouts at home, but there is an awesome woman (and new mom) named Melissa Bender (http://www.benderfitness.com/) who has a great website full of free home workouts. Some of them require weights, but a good portion of them don’t. The workouts are all challenging and different. So if you need something in the interim, until you find a new spin class or alternative, this could be an option 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow that’s an awesome website! Thank you for sharing!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so right – if adults do this, kids are bound to learn the same behaviour! I’m glad her kids aren’t my son’s age so we wont have to see them at kid events in the future! Thanks for pointing out that silver lining. 🙂
I am so sorry you overheard those teenagers! And I’m sorry those teenagers thought it was okay to say that, even if you didn’t over hear them. It’s such a shame that anyone feels okay saying these things. It make wonder about our world. Also, I’m really glad you had a co-worker who talked you into going back. I hope you never experience that again, and I also hope no-one else does.
Thank you for the link! I will definitely be trying this! 🙂
LikeLike
Who the f does she think she is??? I’m really sorry you were treated that I would. You are a lady, I would have gone their and personally slap the bitch and give her a piece of my mind. This made me really angry. I’m overweight and I’ve been a victim of body shamming since I can remember, so it is a subject that really touches my heart. I’m sure you are beautiful!! You know that, don’t you? You are beautiful and perfect and I wish I wore a size 8. You are amazing and she is a bully. No one has the right to treat people like that. NOTHING is wrong with your body, no matter how much you weigh. She was just trying to find flaws in you so she doesn’t see her own. Please don’t lose your confidence over this! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your kind words! Now I just have to let the positivity that I’m used to back in.
Yes, I agree, what she said and also how she did it (via email) was just not okay. It’s unacceptable that anyone would say these negative things. I don’t care who you are, it’s not okay. But as the owners of a gym to say this to one of their first paying customers (I started going the week they opened their doors), it’s beyond unacceptable. Nothing short of cruel.
I’m sorry that you have experienced body shamming – I’ll admit until this incident I had no idea how cruel people could truly be, and my heart goes out to you. I can see your picture, I know you are beautiful!! Please try to remember that whenever you hear anything negative. You are truly beautiful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m glad you are not letting yourself get affected by this. Some people would take it much harder. You’re a positive person, never let that change!!
LikeLike
Well first off a size 8 is in no way overweight (not that it really matters since her email would have been wrong regardless). I’m 37 and a size 10 on a good day- I dream of getting down to an 8! The fact that you’ve managed to keep up with work, a baby, and working out is something to be really proud of! Don’t let some insensitive idiot ruin it for you!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you MrsD. Your encouragement is exactly what I need right now. I was truly naïve to this type of cruelty until right now and I have to say, it sucks!
LikeLike
This makes me so fucking angry! It’s probably a good thing that you didn’t post the name of the place here. We would destroy her! Maybe she, personally, is motivated by negativity, but most people thrive on positive reinforcement. I used to go to a women’s only gym run by the local hospital/clinic. They made you feel great just for showing up! Even me, a 39 year old size 20. I wish I could join again – I SHOULD join again. You are amazing, and probably just inspired me to get off my ass. 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
I have to admit, I’m still tempted to give out the name of the company! Honestly, they deserve to have multiple bad reviews written up on them, and obviously they have no idea the connections I have with internet savvy people! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your experience and for reminding me that positive places do exist out there – and until this gym I’ve only ever been to positive places or at least places where I was oblivious to negativity. I think when I’m ready I just have to search out somewhere more positive.
LikeLike
I was so happy at the start of your post. Happy that you have come around loving your body (I know infertility can take a toll on how you veiw your physical self) and how wondeful it is because our bodies are amazing. Everyones. By the end, I was enraged along with everyone else. I do not understand why others think they have the right to comment on anyone’s body. I hope this overwhelming amount of support will help heal the wounds those words caused. Please do take the time to review the bussiness so no one else has to go through this.
My go-to exercise is running – sounded like you ran a bit before spinning. I love it because it is free, it get’s you outside, you can take the baby or a friend, and it is a great stress reliver. I’m not sure if there is a running club near you but it is always something to look into. Our club is a diverse group of people that get together to put on races and training events. Good way also to find a running buddy. I make my co-workers or my husband go running with me. Or I simply go solo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your support! I’m sure in a few weeks time I will start leaving honest reviews on all the websites I can find. Others deserve to know my experience before they go there.
Maybe a running club is a good idea for me! When I run it’s always been independently but I just don’t love running. I have never thought to check out a club, thanks for the idea! 🙂
LikeLike
That is really awful. I’m sorry that happened to you. My husband also shouted at someone once for saying something really negative about my body. I was too shocked to even react.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s exactly how I felt! It was almost like I was stunned. I instantly forwarded the email to my husband as we weren’t together. He stopped working and called them until they answered their phone and definitely gave them a piece of his mind. Apparently while she defended her actions she said they were going to call me and he told them absolutely not, after what they said they will never speak to me again. And honestly, I’m glad they told her not to call me, I have no desire to ever speak to anyone like that again in my life! Thankfully, I haven’t heard from them!
Also, good for your husband!! As much as I didn’t want mine to fight my battle, I’m glad he did on this one.
LikeLike
Oh my gosh how horrendous! To think someone you have worked with over such a period of time could be so cold and unprofessional! Please don’t be put off professional environments for work outs because of this one vile person, working as part of a team can be so motivating. I actually just posted a blog about my fitness regime currently so you can see how I work out at home. That said I really enjoy my new walking group so you just need to find something that works for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Horrendous is a great word for it! 🙂
As for professional environments, I think I’m going to take a break from them for a bit (assuming I can get committed to working out at home). Then, when winter returns in the fall and my confidence is back to where it should be, I’ll probably look at a gym setting again.
And, thanks for letting me know about your fitness regime. I’m going to check it out! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh love- I am enraged on your behalf. I am also very sorry you had to endure that cruelty. Having met you in person I know first hand that you are in fact beautiful both on the outside but also your inner strength and beauty and resilience shines through. One thing I know about you is your sense of self worth and confidence cannot be shaken by some superficial idiot. Still— please give me the phone number via text so I can call them. I promise it will be productive. I just feel so fiercely loyal! Xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are beyond sweet, thank you. It’s funny, I think back to when I met you, I hadn’t slept in over a week, I don’t think I had even showered, I’m confident my clothing needed to be cleaned and I was probably at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. And yet, I don’t think for a second you cared, heck, you might not have even noticed because that’s just not who you are. (I’m totally crying as I think back to this).
You are a beautiful person inside and out. And I wish more people were like you! Gosh, the world would be such a great place if we had a world of mamajo’s! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow if that is what you looked like through all that I can only imagine once you have showered😂. I felt like you had this glow of beauty and I see its halo when I think of you. Your blog has impacted me so much it was akin to meeting a celebrity who said she would be your friend. So much love ❤
LikeLike
Ok, I’m totally jealous that 2 of my favorite women have gotten to meet! I want to meet you both!!! Lol
LikeLike
I would post your experience on yelp and other sources. If I were thinking about going there, I would certainly want to know. And I would definitely not want to spend my money there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have decided to write reviews in a few weeks time when I’ve calmed down just a bit. I truly think you are right, others have the right to know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is insane. And here I was, reading along and thinking how envious (TBH jealous) I am because I LOVE spin class and I havent been able to go consistently for years and I may never go again considering my recent vaginal tear/thrombosed hemorrhoids/perianal fistula. And then you said you never gave a f*ck about what other people thought of your body and that you are satisfied with your bodyb and I’m all “Must be nice” because I certainly can’t say the same and in fact I am currently dreading telling myfitnesspal (my diet tracker) about the quiche and double chocolate zucchini bread I just inhaled. But I digress–I am shocked that your instructor degraded you. Unprompted! You didn’t even ask for her input. That’s just unheard of. I was a trainer and the point is to help the client achieve *their* goals, not mine. Also as sensitive as I am about my appearance I would never ever say anything degrading to anyone, particularly a client. My God, the nerve of this b*tch. I can’t rationalize this at all–I think she is psycho. And as such, you can’t take anything she said to heart. I’ve had a gym owner body shame me, but it was cor wearing a sports bra because it “made other members uncomfortable”. Ah, but there were other women dressed the same as I was. And he was the only one staring at me. So I very condescendingly told him that I didn’t want to make other people uncomfortable so he could just cancel my membership withoutbthe fee (here were still several months left of my contract) and I’d move on. This f*cker tried to argue with me and tell me to just wear a shirt. But I held my ground and he got sick of arguing and let me go. The gym was *my life* at the time and not going was not an option, even though I was reticent to try a new one. But I boldly walked into the new gym and when the membership consultant closed her office door I whipped off my shirt and said “I need to know first thing: do you consider this appropriate workout attire?” And she was confused but eventually answered yes, that as long as my breasts and buttocks are covered it was fine. And I said “Great, sign me up”–and I loved that gym. I still miss it to this day. So what I’m saying is, this c*nt instructor is a bad apple–I can almost guarantee you will never be treated this way or judged by another professional. And then, yiu can’t let some crazy basic b*tch ruin your mojo and keep you from trying another gym. F*ck that. Go somewhere else and tell them–show them–exactly what she said and if they are not visibly repulsed and apologetic, then leave. But if they are genuinely shocked and dismayed and rushing to reassure you that their gym is not like that, then stick around. Use a trial membership to feel it out. But don’t stop. Spin for me–spin because you can, because you love it, and in spite of that tw*t. XOXO
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for this. Honestly, I’m so sorry you experienced this and I’m also proud of your for not letting it get you down. I know I need to do the same thing, because honestly I still don’t even understand their comment! Seriously, I thought the email was accidently sent to me until Mr. MPB called and they continued to defend their words. (Don’t get me wrong, her words were beyond unacceptable and even if they weren’t meant for me I’d NEVER support that business again).
Also, thank you for reminding me that not all gyms are like this. In fact, in all my adult years of going to the gym I have never experienced this before. I used to spin at university and had a great time. I also went to a spin class in a gym that I loved – I went there for over 2 years until we moved and it was amazing! I had no idea when I signed up but everyone in the class was internationally competing triathletes except me, and I have never been surrounded by such positive people. I wish I could go back there! So yes, you are right, I cannot give up!! Although since it’s spring here I may take a break for a few months and enjoy biking outside. 🙂
Thank you, again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for spelling and grammar! On new phone and having issues
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s just horrible. I’m so sorry.
I know so many women, mostly mothers, who cannot take the time to exercise, or cannot make themselves to do it – your sticking to your spin routine in your situation is admirable. So wrong and sad that it ended like that.
That said, that person must be a mental case – why would she deliberately push away paying customers??
Mean people make me so mad.
I know nothing about classes to replace spin, but I love running and have been able to do it 3-4 times a week for a long time. One big plus is that you can do it anytime, according to your own schedule.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sofia for your kind words. I have to agree, it makes no sense why they’d push me out! Because clearly no self-respecting person would return after what they said.
Thanks for the running suggestion. I’m not the best runner, but I am leaning towards giving it a try since it’s spring and the weather is nicer now. And it’s free, free is a good thing. 🙂
LikeLike
That makes me so mad. As someone who has struggled with body image and working out, this just boils my blood even more. It is for that exact reason I avoid gyms and gym culture like the plague.
I take a dance (ballet) class instead and have found my studio supportive and wonderful. It is an adult class so none of us are professionals and we all do it for fun and fitness.
Hope you do post reviews once the shock has worn off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so sad to read that you have struggled with body image and working out, because I know you are beautiful person just from our interactions here. You truly are amazing!! I have to say I’m thrilled that you’ve found a studio that is supportive and wonderful! Once I am ready to return to an organized class, I’m determined to find a studio like the one you go to!! 🙂
I will definitely do some reviews once I’m past the initial shock. Others definitely have the right to know what they said to me.
LikeLike
I just don’t understand how she could have thought that doing something like that would end positively!?!? And then for her to not get that you were upset by it is even worse. I would absolutely never give them my business again, and blast them on every single review site I could find! There’s no reason for doing something like that, at all. People can be so cruel sometimes, and it makes it worse when they don’t even see they are doing/saying something wrong. I’m so sorry that this happened to you, I really am. As someone who is overweight, and have been most of my life, I know how hard it is to accept yourself for who you are and be happy with that…but to then have someone bash you is just the worst thing in the world. I hope you know that she’s an idiot, and you’re beautiful just the way you are!! Sending you lots of love!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I completely agree, as Mr. MPB said, clearly they decided they didn’t want me as a customer anymore because there is no way any self-respecting human would voluntarily associate with someone who says things like she did!!
And honestly, I’ve asked everyone who knows me in person about what she said, and they are all as confused as I am. When I started reading the email I seriously thought it was intended for someone else, it wasn’t until Mr. MPB phoned them and she defended herself that I knew it truly was meant for me. (Not that it would have been okay if it was meant for someone else, I would NEVER support a business that would treat a person this way).
The last few days have been some of the hardest on me that I can ever remember, so thank you so much for your support and compassion. I’m thankful you are such an amazing friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so angry that you were treated this way!! Society has some sick sexism where someone can feel entitled to treat a woman like that. I agree that some places have a culture where they feel this is acceptable. Maybe not every gym would be this bad? I hope you find something you love again. I used to love bikram yoga if that appeals to you – I felt really fit and it was great for my mental health when I did it. Meanwhile, I think it’d be totally reasonable and not going low at all if you gave them a bad review.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind words. I think you are right, I will leave honest reviews of their business, I think others deserve to know what I experienced before they choose to spend their money.
I’m thinking about trying yoga, so thank you for suggesting it and giving me a bit of a push. I’m still scared of going into a group setting, so I might wait a little while before I get the courage to go.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s awful, I’m sorry to hear that horrible woman said some things that upset you. I hope you can try your best to forget about it and that it won’t stop you from enjoying exercising. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
It truly was awful! Thank you for your encouragement, this is exactly what I need right now.
LikeLike
I’m actually heartbroken that you were spoken to in this way. That pisses me off beyond belief! The only thing I can think is that this woman is a miserable person and wants to spread her misery by being rotten to someone who doesn’t deserve it. I am so sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lindsay! I have to agree, the only reason for her type of behaviour is that she’s a miserable person who wants to spread misery to others. I’ll admit I’m still shocked by the entire thing, but I am determined to pick myself back up and not dwell in this for too long.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m just catching up on blogs, as you’ve noticed in my commenting. I am stunned at first glance, but in reality, not so surprised. I’m shocked it was an instructor who said it, but that type of talk in a gym setting is, sadly, common. When we went to the Y, of all places, the patrons there were so judgy and the instructors were cold. Then we switched to the snobby gym (better programs for the kids) and the seeing is so much nicer. Everyone is so nice, patrons and staff. The point of my story? Don’t quit. Find a new place! Every place is different and you could be surprised like I was.
I’m sorry you experienced this. It makes me angry for you.
And… I have Bea*chbody on demand and LOVE it. I dial up workouts many days a week. $100 a year? No-brainer for me. It’s not for everyone, but I love it (and no, I don’t sell it so I’m very unbiased).
Now…. Get back out there and work that body!
LikeLike
What???? What a horrible person to do that to you!! I think you should DEFINITELY name the company and DEFINITELY give a bad review on Yelp and anywhere else to warn people. I don’t think it’s going low..I think it’s being honest and letting people know what kind of owner she is(omg…still cannot believe and owner of a business would be so mean!) I would want to know if I was a customer at a business and made someone feel the way you did…I would leave immediately and find another spin class that supports everyone!! I am here for you and I will write the review if you don’t want to 🙂 Lots of love and support to you MPB! xoxoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve just been catching up and reading your posts in reverse and had to skip here to find out what happened! I’m just so appalled and angry for you!! Body shaming is never okay but especially not from those working in the fitness industry!! and the fact that it was the owner is simply unreal!! Who does she think she is?
I was reading through the comments and agree with everyone and I’m so glad you plan to write reviews. This business needs to be reported. No one else should be made to feel this way. It’s so hard to find the motivation and courage to even step in a gym for many, and to have the person who represents the place attack you like that is just so many kinds of wrong.
I totally hear you on the self loathing and hating your body after all the miscarriages. I felt that way for so long too. Geez it just makes even more mad thinking about that. That bitch has no idea what you’ve been through and what a freaking rockstar you are for overcoming it and getting out there and getting back into shape for the best you. You do it for you and your family. Not for this freaking woman. Keep it up hon. Don’t let his B get you down! You’re amazing! And yes, the fact that you can get in 3-5 workouts a week with your schedule is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself. I’m so sorry this woman made you doubt that. I just read your recent post. I’m glad you’ve found a solution to keep it up. Biking and running outside sounds great and hopefully you’ll find a welcoming and supportive gym in the future when you’re ready for that environment again. Big hug my friend. Stay strong! You are amazing! 💗
LikeLike
Not cool at all…I’m so sorry. I do think you have to express a complaint of some sort because that is so unprofessional. I know everyone has already commented so I won’t say anymore. I dont need to have physically met you to know without a doubt you are a beautiful person. Your dedication to working out regularly and taking care of you and your family by eating healthily means I find it hard to believe anyone could ever have any reason to body shame you. Besides the fact that body shaming should have NO place in today’s society.
I’m so sad and mad to read this post. I’ve already read your next blog posts so know you will do this…but don’t give up on your workouts because of this stupid woman!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m also surprised at how many other women who have commented here have experienced body shaming too. 😡😡😡
LikeLike
Oh Friend, I am so sorry! I don’t understand women like that. Why do they need to be cruel? Even if someone is at an unhealthy weight, there is a kind way to talk to them about it over concern for their health. Way to go, Mr MPB, I am glad he did that. You may not want someone to fight your battles for you but it sure is nice to know that he is that disgusted about it on your behalf! I want to call this place up and give them a piece of my mind (I’m not very good at channeling my inner Mrs. O…in fact I’m not sure if there any in there to channel, lol). Sending you so much love and don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad about your body! Your body has been through more than most people’s and it provides you with the ability to run and play with your son so be prions and tell them to go screw themselves!!! Love you! 😘
LikeLike