Passive Aggression At Its Finest
There once was a hat. It was the most freaking annoying hat ever to be made and worn by a child.
The darn hat kept magically appearing on my child’s head, right after I took it off.
.
First let me state that while it’s technically autumn, it is NOT winter yet. In fact, Mr. MPB was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. And I was in flip-flops, capris and a light sweater. It’s not cold out!
You see, my husband gave my mother-in-law the stroller carrying Baby MPB while we were out walking.
She kept putting the hat on his head. So, I’d walk up and take the hat off his head. Then, I can only assume my MIL kept putting it on his head because as soon as I’d look back it was magically sitting on his head again.
So, I’d walk up and remove it, stating that it is too warm for him to wear a warm hat.
Then, I’d walk away, look back moments later and the hat was back on his head.
Seriously, this happened probably 10 times in less than an hour.
I was about to lose it!!
The problem was that I couldn’t take away the hat and just carry it, as it was attached to his sweater.
So, finally I texted Mr. MPB and told him enough is enough – I have no idea why he didn’t step in sooner on his own (we have a rule that we deal with our own parents when there is a problem, so it’s his job not mine). Anyways, I told him he had to intervene as Baby MPB was really warm to the touch. I’m not prepared to overheat our child simply because his mother is trying to make some sort of passive aggressive point. Simply, if he didn’t intervene and end this, I would. And I’m confident it would not have be pretty.
Needless to say Mr. MPB stepped up and removed the sweater that the hat was attached to. Game over.
.
This mamma bear has had enough. I’m currently sitting at my desk pretending to work because it seems best if I just walk away right now. Needless to say, Monday morning, when I leave at 5am for a long day at work, cannot come soon enough!
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Your MIL is like all the Chinese grandmas I encounter at work. Their grandkids all wear 4 layers of clothes when it’s 70 something outside. haha. But I get what you are saying. I’d be annoyed too if someone ignores what I want for my child in a passive aggressive way.
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That’s exactly my issue. I make decisions for my child. I made it clear what I wanted and she continued to go exactly against my wishes.
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The rule of thumb is to dress your kid in a layer less than yours since they warm so soon. But yeah! Aaaargh.
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Yup, he was definitly in layers, especially at this time of year. The problem occurred when I decided a sweaty baby was too hot in his warmest layer.
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Lol 🙂 i like your you talk to your parents rule.
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Lol. This is actually pretty funny from the outside looking it. Sorry.
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Oh I’m sure if some one followed us watching they would have laughed the entire time!! 😊
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Oh friend. I feel you on this. I so feel you on this. My in-laws are arriving (AGAIN!!!) anytime now and I’m just dreading it. Absolutely dreading it. In fact I’m already being bitchy and resentful to my wife just because they’re coming.
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I was channelling my inner Molly through the entire thing! I have to admit even though at times it frustrated me that my in laws won’t make an effort to know their grandson, I’m so glad they don’t visit as often as yours do!! I couldn’t tolerate this on a regular basis!
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They usually come once a month, but this will be their second visit this month and they’re staying for four days versus the usual 3. I have no idea how I’m going to cope. I’m still not over their last visit. I hope yours leave soon and you have some peaceful alone time with your son!
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Sending you sooo much love and hoping the 4 days pass quickly!
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And so it begins. They showed up with an Elmo potty. What the hell? She’s 14 month old!
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OMFG! Deep breaths, you can do this! I’m still practicing my version of restraint combined with deep breathing over here. I keep telling myself next week will be better (yet I’m on the road working multiple days next week which is never easy or fun, but it has to be better this).
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When they were 20 mins away, I left. I went to Starbucks with my knitting, then went shoe shopping and ran a few errands. I promised my wife that when I returned, I’d be a different person and that I would get through the next 4 days without killing anyone. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a trip to Starbucks, but that’s where we stand. Now I just have to hold up my end of the bargain. Deeeeeep breaths… And the potty goes in the garage as soon as they leave!
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I just did the exact same thing with a trip to the grocery store – it didn’t work. I’m now sitting in the backyard trying to calm down. I’m so angry I don’t know if I can be civil right now.
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It’s wine o’clock, my dear.
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Omg this would drive me insane, but I would have said something. I like that you and Mr. MPB have the deal with your own family rule.
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I think our rule has actually really helped us through the years, I’d recommend it to anyone. 😊
And yes, I’m slowly going insane right now!!
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I think your MIL and my MIL could be friends. My deepest sympathies.
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And my deepest sympathies to you!! Any tips for coping?
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I wish I had some. We basically have no contact at this point due to a variety of issues.
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Yep. Welcome to the world of passive-aggressive grandmas….
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Oh my gosh, how do you seasoned mothers handle it??????
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You learn to ignore it or speak up I’m very direct now
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I had a similar incident over carhart overalls and passive aggressive texts from my MIL and it ended with a very direct text from me. But I like your rule about each person dealing with their own parents, I need to start using this!
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It’s a great rule!! Works well for us. 😊
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Yikes. This is one reason that I’m happy that we really have no family living close to us, and no family that has the means to come visit often. While it would be nice to see family more often, we also don’t have to deal with things like this! B and I sort of have the same unspoken agreement, that we deal with our own families issues and not put the other in the middle of it. I hope that we have no problems like this when family DOES come to visit the baby…but I feel that my mama bear will come out and I’ll deal with it no matter who is doing the annoying! Hang in there, really you only have a few hours left to get through!
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Like you, our family doesnt live near by. Mama bear definitely comes out for me! In many ways it’s made these visits harder in some ways. Thanks for the encouragement!
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My mama bear already seems to come out at times lol, and she’s not even here yet! I’d really like to be one of those laidback moms, but I feel I won’t be lol!
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All I can say is ughhhhh hang in there!
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Thanks!!! I’m currently in a self imposed time-out so hopefully I can rejoin the conversation shortly with a better attitude. 😊
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Agh! So frustrating! I am glad you got it sorted out. You definitely are MOM (magic!) and get to decide when a darn hat is appropriate!
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Yes, I should get to decide what hat is appropriate or not appropriate! Who knew such little things would feel like they could be reason enough to start World War 3!
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I would be ticked off at such a seemingly little thing too. It’s crazy making! I don’t like people crossing boundaries…and to keep crossing it like that is lunacy!
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You and your husband handled it really well. You can do this!
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Great parent rule. We have worked our way to that here after a few incidences. Nice work on keeping your cool with the MIL being so blatant about ignoring your wishes. I’m not sure I could have held my tongue!!
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I would have lost my mind…
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Oh boy!
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I just laughed so hard I woke Luke up! My dad is the same way with Luke and socks/shoes. I don’t know if he thinks Luke is going to freeze without socks on, but the world is going to end if he doesn’t have shoes on. Poor kid is a lot like mom and HATES shoes….
But the nerve of your mil to keep putting that hat back on him. Can you not tell that he’s hot??
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I am so sorry you had to endure this.
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