Déjà vu
Once again we find ourselves transitioning from one nanny to another.
When we hired our last nanny she made it clear she could only work for us through the summer. We hired her knowing this as she was leaps and bound better then any of the other potentially long-term nannies we interviewed.
We’ve found someone new. She’s has an excellent experience, great references, advanced first aid, loves big dogs, etc. She seems to fit the bill, but of course we wont really know until she starts.
Our current nanny’s last day was determined by her – we asked when she was done and since she was so great we made sure the new person would start once she was done. Anyways, next week is the big transition week – one nanny leaves and a new one starts.
But as with all of the best laid plans….
The same old story is happening again – she was great, until she wasn’t. Can you say Déjà vu? She’s been awesome with Baby MPB all summer, but now she’s flaking. She just tole me she cannot come the rest of this week, which means we have two standard work days that are now going to be rather stressful as we try to meet our work deadlines and be the parents our son deserves. Oh, and clearly I’m now questioning if she’ll show up for her last day next week.
What frustrates me is that we timed this all around her schedule – if she had told us she couldn’t work 2 days this week, the new nanny could have started this week, in fact she really wanted to and we said no (and she’s now unavailable at the last minute).
And you know, as much as that frustrates me, what truly infuriates me more then anything is that this is the second time a nanny has done this to us! Seriously, don’t people take their commitments seriously anymore?
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Sheesh. Does she not care about her reputation or securing a future reference? Not okay regardless!
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Clearly she doesn’t care! I just don’t get it!
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Very frustrating. I do think people tend to lose interest once they know they are leaving… It’s hard to keep their focus when their mind has already vacated. It’s definitely a shame! I hope this week was just an anomaly!
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So incredibly frustrating! I get that, and I know I’ve lost interest in the past. But now that it’s someone losing interest in their responsibility to my child, I’m pissed! But, hopefully the next one lasts longer and does a better job!
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Yes of course… You’re a mama bear!!
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Ugh. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this again. I know you’re primary concern is that Baby MPB is taken good care of and I do hope this new nanny is excellent. Hang in there in the meantime.
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Yes, all I care about is Baby MPB and that’s why this frustrates me so very much! I hate to be worried about his basic care and to be stretching ourselves so thin that I don’t feel like we are even giving him the best basic care. Here’s to hoping the next nanny is better!
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Nothing new. ive heard this from many mom’s that in the end Nanny’s tend to do this.
It sucks but I guess since they are not nannies by profession, but rather filling in, they dont care much about reputation.
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I think you are right, it’s a common experience. For us, we’ve had 2 nannies, and this has happened twice. So, from my experience alone I’d say it’s common. I’m just so hopeful this next one is good – and we specifically hired her in part because she’s not a student and wants to do this for a few years….let’s just hope that works out!
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Unreal. But not surprising, people tend to become more and more unreliable as time marches on. Gah
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It does feel that way, unfortunately!
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It seems many find it hard to keep a nanny. What stress for the family and also attachment breaking for little ones. Sorry to hear this. I hope your new nanny is fabulous… and committed. 🙂
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More then anything it’s the attachment break for Baby MPB that breaks my heart. He LOVES his nanny (which I always take as a good sign), so it just makes this flakiness even harder.
Yes, let’s hope the new nanny is fabulous and actually committed!!
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I have heard this too! I think another part of it is that as a society we don’t look on jobs like we used to. When our grandparents worked, being a cook was a perfectly respectable job and people did it for their entire careers – and so were committed and dedicated. Now, it’s looked on as a temporary thing that can easily be replaced – so the commitment is not there from the employee’s perspective, and sometimes the employer. I have hired and fired many, many staff and find that the level of commitment seems to be dwindling with people of my generation and younger.
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Yes, I think you are right! And, up until now we have hired young university students who are looking for part-time work, and it’s clear that the priority of the student hasn’t been long term commitment and/or references. This time, we took a new approach and did not hire a student. We really hope this helps with the commitment issue and she stays with us a little longer!
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I hope so too!!
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I am really counting my nanny blessings right now. I’m so sorry your experience has been like this! I’ve actually been feeling like it might be time to transition Charlotte to daycare (I think she needs the stimulation) but I can’t bring myself to think about letting go of our nanny.
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I’ve actually been thinking about daycare simply because I think it would be more reliable. But, few daycare’s here take children under 12 months and honestly, I just am not ready for him to go somewhere else. I like being able to sit in the other room an eavesdrop all day long and be able to get snuggles whenever I want them.
Anyways, yes, count your nanny blessings! Seriously, I want a nanny just like yours! 🙂
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If I was working at home, I would totally want my kiddo at home too. It’s only now that she’s walking and able to communicate her needs better that I’m really considering it. My cousin’s little boy stayed home with his grammy for 2 1/2 years and he has ZERO social skills around other kids. He has been SO MEAN to Charlotte (and she’s a baby!). Part of my wanting her in day care is just so she gets exposed to other kids more because we have hardly any children in our life and I don’t want her to end up like my cousin’s kid! But also, she’s just a very high energy, high needs toddler and I feel like the extra activity would serve her well. We’ll see. It would be WAY cheaper if we wait until she’s 2, so we might just give it another year.
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I hear you about the socialization concern! I am very worried about that too. Like you we don’t have a lot of friends with kids his age so he doesn’t have a lot of exposure. And, he’s already so active that I think we may also be looking for more activity in a few more months. I think that’s why we’ll eventually put him into a daycare setting, I think it will serve him well to learn to share and be nice before he starts preschool/kindergarten.
My only advice is that you don’t want to lose your awesome nanny until you are 100% positive about daycare. But, I think you already know that. 🙂
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Oh this sounds horrible I can’t believe you are going through it AGAIN! I really hope that 3rd nanny is the charm! You certainly deserve a fantastic one and a break from all of this crap!
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So horrible and frustrating! I too am hoping 3rds the charm!! 🙂
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My friend has an au pair and loves it. I’ve mentioned this before, not sure if it was to you or someone else, but if it was me I would consider an au pair. Sorry the last two flaked 😦 XOXO
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You didn’t ask for advice, so I offer this reluctantly and at the risk of sounding ageist. . . but this reason is why my husband insisted we hire an older nanny. In our experience, younger people tend to be flakier and less likely to follow through on their commitments.
While there were things I did not love about our nanny (nothing related to her care for our twin boys: she was great with them, and they loved her), during the two years she worked for us, she only took two sick days and vacationed only when we vacationed. She was on time every day, too. She had 15+ years of experience and was in her mid-40s.
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I completely get what you mean! Our first two were university students. But, we actually tried to hire someone older last time and this time, but we haven’t found one qualified who also wasn’t afraid of our dog. (I’m not sure why the dog fear appears to be correlated to age).
Our hope is that the one we’ve just hired isn’t a student so hopefully she’s more committed!
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We had good luck finding in-home care, but even having good luck, we encountered some flakes along the way. I’m really glad we’re doing all daycare facilities at this point. It’s much more reliable.
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Im glad youve found something rhat works for your family. I suspect for reliability and socialization we will also move to daycare soon enough. 😊
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What in the world is wrong with people!?!? I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that again. I would have straight up asked her if she planned on coming for her last day next week when she told you she was flaking out for this week. So rude and inconsiderate, especially when she chose her last day on her own!! I truly hope the next one works out great for you, and if/when the time comes for her to move on she doesn’t screw you over like the past two have!
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That is so incredibly frustrating! I would have just told her to not come back, but I also understand your predicament…being working parents is so hard! Hope that things work out, and that I was closer! i’d help you all out, no question! And BabyMPB would have a ton of buddies! LOL!
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That is really frustrating. We are about to start looking for a nanny and I worry we will have the same issues. It just seems like people are not as reliable as they once were.
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Aargh that is SO annoying. You’d think she’d want a great reference up her sleeve. *sigh*
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This is just one reason why we can’t fathom dealing with nannies. Your story is not an uncommon one.
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I say trust your gut next time. Let the new one start early… But I’m hoping there is no next time and this nanny is the ONE
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How incredibly frustrating! I’ve never understood people who do not honor their commitments through to the end. I’m glad you found a new nanny. Good luck with the transition!
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Ugh…that makes me so mad! As a former nanny, I feel like they’re giving us a bad name! I know by now that this week is long gone but I’m not at all caught up on blogs so I hope that you managed through!!!
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