Diagnosis & Mommy Judgement

  Posted on August 11, 2016 By

 32 Comments

Baby MPB has been drugged constantly to keep his fever at a more manageable level for the last few days.  Now, he’s turned bright red with a rash from head to toe.

So, we consulted Dr. Google.  His symptoms match Roseola perfectly.  Or, while more unlikely, it could be the mumps or measles.  But, as I am well aware that Dr. Google does not replace a real doctor.  And while it’s unlikely he has the measles, I’d really rather know foresure.

So, back to the doctor we went – this time to our great family doctor not the emergency.  As our son is fully vaccinated our doctor confirmed that Baby MPB has Roseola.  The appearance of the rash after a the high fever made it very clear that he is battling this specific virus. The great news is that the rash indicates the end of the fever.  And an added bonus is that Baby MPB isn’t bothered by the rash and the rash should vanish in a few days.

So, no interacting with other babies or pregnant women until he is symptom clear for at least a few days as it’s highly contagious.  No big deal, we haven’t exactly been taking our sick baby around others anyways.

But what made this extra fun is all the experienced mom’s we are friends with who were worried about his fever earlier this week are now saying to me oh ya, it’s just roseola, no big deal.

Yup, I guess I’m the dumbest mom ever for not knowing that my son’s 104 degree fever was nothing to worry about.  Silly me for being cautious and concerned.  Silly me not just following Dr. Google’s diagnosis.  Silly me for not having multiple kids already so that I know these things.  Silly me for being a first time mom watching my son experience his first illness.  What was I thinking?  (In case it wasn’t obvious, please note the sarcasm).

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32 Comments on “Diagnosis & Mommy Judgement”

  1. Honestly, I think they’re saying, “no big deal,” to make you feel better about his sickness, not out of judgment. I used to call my neighbor about everything Matthew had because her kids had been through every sickness imaginable, and her, “no biggie” comments would put me at ease. She was my go-to to decide if I should worry or not, or go to the doc or not. She has many a photos of my kids rashes, cuts, bruises, etc. There were times when she’d laugh at me and that turned into us laughing together at some of my concerns!

    I don’t let mom judgement bother me. I never have. It’s really a choice for you to make. Are you going to let people make you feel bad about your parenting? No, you’re not. And when people say, “oh, yeah, rosella, no biggie,” then say with a laugh, “why didn’t you suggest that before if it’s so obvious?”. No one can make you feel bad about yourself if you don’t let them. DONT LET THEM. 😊

    I’ve been mom for 5 years and we’d never had roseola. My sister always said to watch for it and that its no big deal, but it never happened. Then it did a year ago, and do you think I remembered what my sister said? Nope. We went right off to the doctor at the first sign of the rash (my kids had never had rash) and.. Roseola. 😉 I’m not an alarmist but fevers always get a trip to the doc if it lasts more than 24 hours because I missed a double ear infection once while blowing off a fever. The docs laugh at me, I laugh at myself, and then repeat the same thing the next time!

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    • You always have the best advice Courtney! I’m with you about the mommy judgment, the only way it can bother me is if I let it. And at the end of the day, if my son has a fever over 104 and stops moving and becomes overly lethargic, I’ll rush him to the hospital again! Simply, high fevers are scary! And at the end of the day, he’s my (and my husbands) kid so we get to make all these decisions for better or worse. 😉

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    • I agree with Courtney. Our sons are 4.5 and have also never had roseola, and we generally take them to the pediatrician to be checked out for any fever over 101 lasting more than 48 hours. . . especially if there are no other real symptoms. We would have been even more likely to do so when they were pre-verbal. 🙂

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  2. Welcome to roseola-ville! I can’t believe our kids both have it. Just a recommendation–sterilize the crap out of toys / surfaces. We didn’t after round 1 and we think that’s why she got it again.

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  3. I’ve come to the conclusion that with things like that, sometimes you can’t win for anything. I rushed my daughter to the doctor once when it turned out to be nothing, then waited several days once (no fever) and it turned out to be a really nasty ear infection (I felt SO bad about that one…it must have hurt). Now I just mostly shrug and say “well, I’m doing the best I can with the information I have”. Sorry that people are making such silly comments – sounds like you did what you needed to do with the information you had at the time.

    Glad to hear Baby MPB is on the mend!

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    • I think your attitude is best – shrug and do your best. At the end of the day that’s all most of us mom’s are trying to do. We won’t be perfect but as long as we are doing our best that’s really all that matters! 😉

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  6. The first illness your baby gets is always scary. They can’t tell what is wrong or if they are in pain. E has also been really healthy so the first illness was terrifying. It does get easier but there is always desperation to know what is wrong.

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  8. I totally agree with Courtney that the “no biggie” comments were most likely to make you feel better about him being sick, and celebrating that it wasn’t something more serious. I don’t think it was meant to pass judgement on your reaction of taking him to the doctor and worrying. You did the absolutely right thing by taking him in. Even the seasoned moms I know, who have literally seen it all, still take their kids in when they have a fever above a certain level and/or a rash, just to get confirmation. And they always tell other moms to take their kids in, even if it’s just for peace of mind. Fevers, rashes, coughing… all that stuff sends me into a panic every time, even when I KNOW it’s probably nothing serious. I’m glad you have a diagnosis and that your son is closer to kicking this illness to the curb.

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  9. Oh, I’m so glad that Baby MPB is on the mend! I also flipped out over S’s first illness and called the doctor twice before finally taking him in (turned out to be an ear infection following a fever virus). I can handle feeling silly if it’s nothing (and fortunately I can afford the $25 copay for a sick visit)… I can’t handle letting my baby suffer on the off chance it might be nothing. So, please don’t ever feel bad for taking the cautious route, or for being concerned about your baby. It’s “just” roseola when it’s someone else’s baby and your own kids’ illnesses are in the past… but when it’s your baby, any pain or suffering is scary and heart-wrenching!

    Also glad to read the tip about sterilizing after roseola… I thought they only got these childhood illnesses once, and you just sort of had to check off the whole list. Who knew that some of them can come back multiple times?!?!

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  10. Hey, fevers are scary! Tru spiked 105.2 in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago. I was scared! You made the right call going to the Dr. Maybe your friends are just relieved that it was “only” roseola?

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  11. You are an amazing mommy, don’t let other people make you feel otherwise. I’m glad you have a diagnosis and baby MPB is feeling better!

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  13. These babies are so precious that I totally understand your worry. I’m glad that BMPB is likely over it soon, and hope that he (and you guys) get a break soon too.

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  14. Crosby just had this last month. It’s awful. Always be concerned until you have reasons to not be concerned. Fevers are good, but when they start to be persistent or stay high and unmanageable it’s always good to have your mommy alarms going off! Good work momma! You’re doing awesome. Hang in there. Our rash stayed for 7 days total, hopefully you’re is shorter!

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  15. Well I’m really glad that you know what’s going on now, and that it should be in the end stages. I say screw those other moms. Even if it was my 10th child…a fever that high is definitely something to be concerned about!! The human body is not meant to deal with a temperature that high, and I’m sure any reputable Dr would agree that it shouldn’t just be ignored and blown off. You did the right thing by keeping on top of things and getting him checked out. Try not to worry about what those other insensitive people say, you need to do what’s best for your child, and that’s all that matters.

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  17. Well, each time G catches a cold I rush to my family dr even though i know no meds work. It just for my peace of mind. A high fever in an infant is never good, so no wonder you both were worried, I would br bat shit cray.
    I think the other moms are just trying to reassure you, i doubt its judgement. So dont bother abt it.

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  18. Eh, fevers can be anything and even the doctors didn’t know what it was until now. Fevers with babies or toddlers are so scary for the parents because there’s only so much you can do. Funny thing is, doctors don’t really ever seem to be worried about the fever but how they act. Craziness to me. The one urgent care dr said babies and toddlers have such a strong cardiac system vs adults and can withstand high temps.

    In the end, roseola isn’t a big deal.. Mostly because once the rash shows you can take a breath of fresh air since the sickness is just about over. So, I don’t think the other mamas were judging.. Thus are prob just as relieved to know it wasn’t something more serious ☺️

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  19. My son had roseola recently and it was very stressful. He had 5 days of a very
    High fever (it got to 104.5 and we went to the er), medication barely helped and we didn’t get relief until the rash broke on day 5. It’s stressful to not know what your child is burning up and see a fever for a week…it’s def not “no big deal” when your baby is miserable and burning up and you’re stressed outta your mind with worry…and googling put me over the edge with worry! Glad your little one is on the mend.

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  20. Roseola is to do this day the most scared a virus has made me. I had never seen my daughter so lethargic, worst fever she’s ever had, and when the rash appeared I apologetically called the doctor on call -over Easter holiday because that is naturally when it happened- just in case she had measles (though by Google image search I was “pretty sure” it was Roseola). As a mom, you just don’t like taking risks! I know if my son gets it, I will still call the doctor just to be safe.

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  22. We’re moms! Our babies get sick and we worry our heads off!!! the world comes to a stop until my baby is better. As other people have commented, I don’t pay any mind to mommy judgers. Do i judge other moms? YUP! But i do it mostly at home, with my wife, and it’s more of a conversation and a comparison of what we do and what they do and what we could get rid of and what are some of the things that they are doing that we want to implement/take away. “Oh, it’s just blah blah blah” My response, “Yeah..yeah it is…doctor confirmed it”, and then a firm eyeroll! LOL!

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