I Won The War
I am unable to discuss specifics, but what I can say is that we were facing a very unexpected international adoption battle within our Country which was fundamentally critical to our son’s life long well being. Various departments in various levels of government were not speaking to each other and asking for things that literally DO NOT and CANNOT exist within Canadian or USA law.
No-one would speak to anyone. In fact, often times departments refused to even speak to me and/or return my phone calls as I tried to figure this out.
Eventually someone actually suggested that we need to leave the country and try to re-enter so that they could get the paperwork done correctly (note there is no guarantee that the boarder agent would have let our son re-enter without the proper paperwork which of course we do not have). And at that point, I got really annoyed because there had to be a better solution for a problem that we didn’t even create. So, I began talking to anyone and everyone who would listen. I kept phoning, and phoning and phoning each and every department. I kept being a pain in the butt. And, I didn’t stop.
At one point, I threatened to contact every single political representative would could possibly help.
At one point we almost hired an immigration lawyer to try to help. Because when it comes to our son, what’s another couple thousand dollars?
At one point I threatened to go to the local and national media. Because as much as we would have hated to do it, I know if we put our smiling faces all over the 6pm news and explained what the government bureaucracy was doing to our innocent adorable son, we would have won.
Needless to say I am thrilled to report that I recently found out my efforts/threats worked after countless hours and tears. Today I can happily report that I won this war for my son’s benefit. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
But what’s probably the most frustrating thing is that after months of dealing with this, the problem has magically been solved by the one department that always had the power to solve it if only they could see common sense.
So, the debate I have now is do I still go public? Do I start raising awareness about this, as we probably aren’t the first and definitely wont be the last to endure this. Honestly, I don’t know how much I want to take on this project, it’s massive. Yet, I also realize someone needs to. There are some significant issues with international adoption (and adoption as a whole) that I am unlikely to ever be able to fix, but this one I might just be able to. I dunno…maybe once our son’s adoption is finalized I’ll start tackling this properly. But maybe it’s also time to just get on with living and not being consumed with all this stuff. I dunno.
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I am glad you have this issue sorted out! Sounds stressful. You bring up good questions…I always struggle with how much of an advocate and how outspoken to be in certain situations too. I am naturally a leader/confronter, but sometimes I need to sit back and let life happen on its own. I agree with your logic that maybe waiting until your son’s adoption is completely wrapped up is best, and then you can evaluate the situation again. Congrats on the win!
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Wow…this is just really sad. I can’t imagine how frustrating this all must have been, but I’m glad you finally got it settled. I would say if you DO want to pursue going national with it and becoming an advocate, wait until his adoption is finalized. Then there would be no chance that anything could happen there. But in the mean time, congrats!!
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Glad to hear you were able to sort it out but wow does it sound like an exhausting and stressful process! I recently had a friend dealing with adoption issues and was appalled by how a govt. agency was handling it. It’s terrible that these departments do not keep the child’s best interest as a priority. Hoping you have smooth sailing from here on out.
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Glad you were able to navigate the waters to the result you wanted! Such a bummer that the system has flaws that threatened your little one’s well being. You’re an incredibly resourceful and smart woman and whatever you decide to pursue as for awareness will be helpful to others (just like your blog)!
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I suck at the phone calling/persistence sort of advocacy so kudos for getting it sorted out that way (and NOPE to gambling at the border with paperwork, c’mon people!) Whatever you decide to do going forward, you’ve at least made some change or set some precedent for folks going forward.
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Aghhh to bureaucrazy….I hate the fact that it was even suggested that a way to resolve it would be to cross the border again!!! Seriously??!!! But I’m glad you eventually won!!!!! What things would you be able do to raise awareness?? It sounds like a good idea! Maybe even just writing about it on your blog would be super effective in awareness of others were to google it??
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I’m so Thankful you got it all sorted out now. If I were you, I would look into bringing it public, but I would wait until his adoption is all finalized. Sometimes, for the greater good, we have to take on things we’d rather not. However, I can understand why you’re hesitant on it too. Can’t wait to hear the news that your adoption is finally finalized…it sure sounds like it’s been a mess on your end. Hugs, my Friend…you are AMAZING and I love how you continually advocate for what’s best. Love you!
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If going public will spare others heartache and help others who may be in your situation but don’t have thousands of more dollars to throw at it to fix it, then by all means, do it! Glad things worked out in your favor !!
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I’m glad you won, but how frustrating (probably a stronger adjective is needed). To think that all it took was one department doing what they should have done in the first place to clear things up is unbelievable. I’m glad it’s over, and when it’s good and truly over you could write more about it, like the commenter above said it could be helpful to save someone else a similar difficulty that they may not even know is a possibility.
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Damn, I hate that you had to fight but good for you for persevering and I’m glad everything worked out in the end! 🙂
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Working on the fringes of that world (government bureaucracy) I can only imagine how frustrating and disappointing that would have been. It’s usually the simple stuff that they have turf wars over and it’s regular pay who pay the price 😟. And frankly, the fact that it is so damn hard for cndns to adopt from the us is a travesty in the first place.
I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I was so proud of you!
It’s not my place to say and I can see the appeal of going with the flow, but, as I read your post I had this tingling sensation and thought: maybe everything that happened lead to this and you were meant to advocate for this change.
I seriously cannot think of a better advocate. You’re well spoken, informed, passionate and likeable. And persistent!
In any case you have time to figure it out while baby MPB gets his paperwork finalized. But I kinda like the idea….
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I am rooting for you to advocate for it! Someone needs to and you have the drive and determination to do it.
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It’s a daunting task, but I might just end up doing it once the adoption is finalized. Until then, I’m playing nice which means I’m being quiet. 🙂
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Terrible government practices tend to only change because of public outcry and shaming. So I also vote for you to push for change and I think you’re 500% right to wait until after finalization.
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