You Can Pick The Birthday
Recently we were talking with our potential birth mom about the fact that she expects to be induced around 39 weeks (of course, assuming baby doesn’t arrive sooner).
First, she asked if it was okay with us if she is induced. Which, so far as I’m concerned as nothing to do with us, but everything to do with her. We have no influence on how or when she delivers. That’s a decision between her and her doctors. And we respect that, fully.
Second, she offered to let us pick the birthday, should we have a day we prefer. She’s already fully let us name baby MPB and now she’s offering to let us pick the birthday too! Mr. MPB and I both laughed and smiled, because what else can we do in such a situation?
At this point, both Mr. MPB and I feel that any day that results in a living child in our arms is the perfect birthday!!
With 100% certainty, I can say that I do not care when baby arrives. We are just so excited about the potential having a living child in our arms to care for and love for the rest of time. Simply, that’s all that matters.
And so, we will not pick a birthday. And while we now know the exact potential birthdate*, we will love any date that happens to be our child’s birthday. And for the rest of our lives we will celebrate Baby MPB’s birthday as the best day of the year!
* Where I live there are some wonky rules/laws about sharing international adoption details/information online during the adoption process. So, while I blog anonymous, this is something I simply cannot risk. Which means for now I will not be sharing the birth date.
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Happy birth day will take on a whole new meaning!! Can’t wait xxx
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Awwww, she seems like a very sweet and thoughtful mother. It’s crazy how sudden adoption is, it was just a few months ago you two were patiently waiting and scanning emails daily wanting any sort of good news and now here you are being asked to pick out a birthday! 🙂
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Wonderful!!!!
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Aw, this is wonderful! It sounds like you’re developing a great relationship with the birth mom, and that everyone is being as open and respectful as they can be — her by offering you input on birth decisions, and you and Mr. MPB by respecting her autonomy and relationship with her doctors. Good for all of you. Even though you can’t share the exact date (very understandable!) it sounds like she must be on a similar timeline to me (I’m due mid-Feb), so we’ll hopefully have our babies within a few weeks of each other — I’m so excited to share early parenting with you!
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Reading this post, I have no concerns that this adoption is going to end well for all 4 of you! Baby’s mom seems to really like you guys, and you sound charmed by her. What a great situation!!!!
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That’s very thoughtful of her to ask. It is kind of a unique situation. I felt the same about know exactly what date and time Luke was going to be born. And I agree wholeheartedly any day that results in a living healthy baby is a good day for a bday!
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I’m so, so excited for you. I hope things continue to progress smoothly. You deserve a snag-free adoption experience from here out.
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It’s sorta funny, isn’t it? Because of modern medicine, we can now “pick” birth dates. This really is a fairly new concept, I don’t think scheduled births were that common until the 1970’s. (I could be wrong about this– I’m basing this on a far off memory of conversations with a mid-wife friend.)
It sounds like things are going well so far. It must be hard to exhale until Baby MPB is safe in your arms, but allow the rest of us to be wildly enthusiastic and excited for you!
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Ahhhh….this is just all so exciting!!!
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Wow, she sounds very sweet and thoughtful. You must be over the moon! Very exciting that you can be involved in this way and already forming your relationship with her!
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What a dream birth mom! How awesome of her to offer this option to you. I can really see this being “the one” for you guys! I work in the legal field and we have a case, unrelated to adoption, involving a minor who was adopted internationally. I was perusing the minor’s adoption file today out of curiosity. Even though it was in Spanish I could understand most of it and, WOW!, holy paperwork! I didn’t fully appreciate how involved adoption really is, and I have a brother who’s adopted, until I saw what was asked of the parents in this file. I wish you the best in this and I’m so glad things are moving forward!
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Why does she want to induce, I’m curious?
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She’s just ready to be done being pregnant (which we are told is often the case with potential birth moms). So she’ll be induced when her doctor and her agree it’s time.
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Ah gotcha…that makes sense.
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This is just incredible – she sounds truly amazing. I’m sending you love – I know there are still so many steps to take and hurdles to cross, but I am so hopeful and excited for your family. ❤
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Just a side note: the mother can name her baby, that name will be on the original birth certificate, it has nothing to do with what you name the child. Once the baby is adopted, an amended birth certificate is created replacing parents and replacing the name (if changing), and that becomes the legal birth certificate for the child, the original birth certificate isn’t changed but is no longer the legal birth certificate on file. I wish adoption service providers explained that process. I wish I had been named on my OBC, it would have told me I had value.
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While what you describe is the typical process, it is not the process this birth mother wants. She wants to put the name we all like on the original birth certificate so that baby does not have a name change. (Of course she could change her mind on this, but that’s her intentions right now). The birth certificate changes will still happen just as you described, but we have already asked our lawyer to get the original for him so we have a copy before it gets sealed.
As always thank you so much for your comment and perspective.
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So exciting! When I found out I was going to be induced they asked if I had a particular day and I just told them first available I was so ready lol
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What a kind offer to ask your input on baby’s birthdate. Although, I agree, totally unnecessary, yet very charming.
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Awwwww she sounds super delightful. Just so considerate of you guys. I love it. X
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I love your positivity in your posts lately! I’m so very happy for you and Mr MPB!
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Why do they want to induce her? Are there possible complications lingering?
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Nope, no complications. She’s just ready to be done being pregnant (which we are told is often the case with potential birth moms).
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I can say with absolute certainty that whatever day it is, it will become the best day of your lives!
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I swear I get more excited for you with every post I see 🙂 Such great news! I love that you get to name him 🙂
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So exciting, way happy for you and Mr. MPB! I do have to say though, I got induced because of complications due to preeclampsia, and it still took about a day or so for my Rainbow Baby to arrive, so picking a birthday might not have worked out anyway.
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i haven’t been around in a while but i wanted to tell you how elated i am for you. you have waited so long and been through so much. this baby is such a blessing.
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Thank you so very much!!
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