Christmas Is Right Around The Corner
I’ve realized that today is December 1st.
It marks the start of another Christmas season.
Another year coming to an end. And another year starting.
A mixture of ending and new beginnings. And, a time for reflections on what was, what is and what could be.
I want to look forward to Christmas this year. I want to be excited for the season. I want to embrace the enjoyment and the fun.
And instead, I right now, I’m focusing on just getting through it. The stuff with my Dad has put me in a bad mood about Christmas and I’ve been unable to shake my negative attitude, in fact I’d say it just keeps getting worse as they continue to suggest that we can lock our dog in their garage since she’s not welcome at their house (ummm…no). And now Mr. MPB’s family is on us to travel at Christmas too. In fact, they have demanded that in order to meet our new niece we travel across the country and put our dog in some kennel that they found online that still has last minute spaces (again, no). (Note that we haven’t even been invited by the sibling who is the parent and who is hosting Christmas dinner, likely because they know we cannot afford it and we don’t travel at Christmas).
Anyways, I just hate the insane family pressure of Christmas, after all these years, I’ve realized the pressure pushes me further away as I try to remove myself from the anxiety that comes from it. And so right now, instead of getting into the festive season I kinda want to just stick my head in the sand and hind from it all.
We are seriously talking about not putting up a Christmas tree, or any decorations for that matter. It’s not that I want to be a Christmas Scrooge, it’s that we are both working so hard and doing so many things right now that I truly feel like we don’t have time and we wont enjoy it. Our minds are fully focused on trying to keep working as much as possible to pay for some more of our adoption costs. And in our spare time we are fully dedicated to repairing our bathroom, which has turned into a much bigger job then expected.
Honestly, I feel like trying to decorate for Christmas will just take up time and energy that I don’t have to spare. So, right now it just seems easier to skip the rush.
Maybe I’ll get more into the season as we get closer to Christmas. But, if I don’t, I’m okay with that too. I just want to be real with my emotions and not force anything right now.
I/we still have about 23 days left to decide what to do. So, for now I’m going to just continue as is and see how I feel in a few more days/weeks.
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Eesh. Is passing on the holiday traveling with fido an option. It seems you two would be much more content spending the holidays together, alone at home this year. I do hope you don’t pass on putting the Christmas tree up. Even if that’s all that’s there, you need that spirit 🙂
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We’ve spent the last 5 Christmas not travelling across the country to acoomodate our families. We’ve loved it. But for some reason this year both families have decided to ignore our long standing rule that we don’t travel over Christmas. And it’s amazing how quickly all the anxiety related to travelling at Christmas has come back and really impacted my festive spirit. Who knows, maybe in a few more weeks I’ll start to get into it a bit more.
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We always had this family pressure to travel and be everywhere within the same 48 hours. I say do what YOU want to do. Don’t avoid the decorations unless you really hate them. Put them up for you and Mr mbp, tell everyone you’re having christmas at home (insert reason – white lie if you have to!), then kick back and enjoy christmas for two. Eat lovely food, watch great movies, spend time with the one you love and enjoy it. Family pressure always made our holidays miserable until we finally made a stand one year and spent it at home with no one. It was so much nicer not driving around the country. Ask yourself “If it was up to me, I’d…” and then do just that. You don’t owe anyone anything. There’s always so much pressure at this time of year. It can be so emotional. I hope you find a way to make the holidays happy for you both xxx
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Thank you Faye! Your strategy is exactly what we’ve done, for 5 years now. But for some reason this year both sets of parents have decided that they do not accept our decision and are simply ignoring our 5 year decsion of not travelling at christmas.
And for the last few years we have come to love staying home, cooking and having dinners with friends. So we know exactly what we want, we just don’t seem to be able to get either set of parents to respect it.
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Ahhh, I guess they are thinking it’s their “turn”. Oh gosh. I hope you can keep the peace and still enjoy your holidays! X
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You two should do what is best for you (and the dog) and not let anyone else’s wants or opinions sway you. There have been many Christmases that I didn’t decorate (pre-Evelyn, I try to do it for her now no matter what), and that was fine! It felt like more work than it was worth.
Don’t pressure yourselves and do what feels right!
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Thanks for understand Lindsay! Your approach of doing what feels right for us is key, and we both know spending Christmas with our dog, who is essentially a furry child in our family, is an absolute basic must. As for decorating, we’ll just wait and see if either one of us gets the urge to put stuff out.
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Good for you for taking things one day at a time. We used to travel every Christmas and I would Experience anxiety and hated the pressure it put on our relationship (splitting things between families, etc). We didn’t travel last year and won’t be traveling this year and I’ve been more in the holiday spirit than ever. I think you are smart to do what you and Mr MPB decide what’s best for you guys. And I’m disgusted in regards to the suggestions of what to do with your dog! We have told our family several times if our dog isn’t welcomed then we don’t feel welcomed either.
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Thank you for understanding! Yes, our dog is an integral part of our lives and we come as a package. It’s non negotiable for us and shoving her in a garage is just not a reasonable option.
And like you we too have done the insane travel between families, flying across the country trying to appease everyone. We out a stop to that 5 years ago and made it clear that we do not travel on the 24/25. And we’ve loved it! Evidently this year everyone is ignoring what we want and it’s already making us miserable.
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Interesting. Until reading this comment, I’ve wondered why I’ve been in a more festive spirit this year… But it’s the first year we’re NOT worrying about traveling and are just doing our own thing. I think you’re totally right!
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Oh, boy. How frustrating that all of a sudden your families are getting difficult about your decision to stay home. All I can say is that I’m thinking of you and hoping things get worked out.
I’m not much of a December/Christmas person either. I think about the only way to get through it is to be realistic and just sort of allow yourself to be wherever you’re at in the moment. If that’s joyful, great, if not, that’s okay too.
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I understand! We’ve skipped decorating on busy years, too. I hope you find peace in this season with your families…I wish they didn’t put pressure on you and you could be free to live your own life with your own decisions. You are doing great! Hugs!
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I am always disappointed when people don’t understand that dogs are like family. I am glad you are sticking to your guns!
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I love Christmas! But hate family dramas / people considering the childless as lesser beings. I’ve been slightly in a bad mood about my brother (whose ability to reproduce elevates him to superhuman, it seems) but at least nobody’s asking me to put Dog in a kennel. That would NEVER HAPPEN. We are off on a long weekend shortly and he’s going to friends who are DYING to get their hands on him and will spoil him to bits! I’m sorry stuff with your family is getting you down. I would say try and enjoy Christmas in your own way – because Christmas is amazing (and I say that in a non religious way!). I think it’s about magic and believing and giving (and family if they’re nice) which are all nice things. If your family aren’t playing ball then don’t play ball with them, and have your own family Christmas. T and I call us and Dog “family” – I don’t think families have to have children and parents. You can define it however you want. x
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Celebrating Christmas is not a requirement of life. If you aren’t feeling it this year, that doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person. And if people think that your dog doesn’t matter to you and they don’t care that you want her with you, that’s on them, not you. From what you’ve said in previous posts, your family should be crystal clear by now that you guys do not travel for Christmas. Honestly if I were you, I would just ignore calls and emails from everyone until after the holiday at this point. Maybe then they will understand that you aren’t kidding. I guess that may sound mean, but if people aren’t listening to you and your wishes, then they aren’t being nice either. I hope you make it through the season in a bit better spirits than you are feeling today! If you need anything, just email me!
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Ohana means family,and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten-Dog IS part of your Ohana!!
I hope festivities of the season find your holiday spirit soon 🙂 X
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Just reading this gives me anxiety about my own family. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Family is so very difficult for some (myself included).
Put up your tree. You’ll be glad you did!
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Um… I will admit that I’m also thinking of not decorating at all. This Christmas just feels like something I have to get through.
Scrooge it up with me!
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My favorite thing about not living in CT is not having to travel home for Christmas so I totally get it. Hope you find a little Christmas spirit soon!!!
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Do what feels right to you. I for sure understand all of the frustrations around family. At the end of the day spending time with your hubby is going to make you the happiest. Maybe you could mini-decorate. Get a small pre-decorated tree, a holiday scented candle burning and snuggle up with your loves (hubby and dog).
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I agree with the comment about ignoring the family until the after the holidays, only it feels like there is so much December left. You probably won’t even miss the decorations, especially if you are working lots. It might feel weird on Christmas Day but that’s just one day and then it’s over. Do what makes you happy and stay firm in your decision not to travel.
Also, I am appalled by the suggestions of what to do with your dog. They really don’t understand. Wow.
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Self care MPB. No tree doesn’t make you a scrooge. Just do what you guys want/need. It’s potentially your last Christmas where its all about you two and not about wrapping presents and preparing for a special someone’s first Christmas 🙂 so do what you guys need. Sending love!!
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Thank you so much for your compassion. Right now we are planning to skip all the Christmas crazy and simply enjoy it when we are out and about at friend’s houses. But who knows there is still time to change our minds. 🙂
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I feel a bit like I’m nagging you but I truly think you’re under enormous pressure and you need, deserve and want to ensure your mental health is taken care of. Sending lots of love.
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There is no issue with nagging when it’s based in the truth. Right now we aren’t doing a great job of balancing everything and our mental health is going to suffer. Some healthy reminders to take care of ourselves is very much appreciated. Thank you!
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Any kennel that still has Christmas openings is a HUGE red flag to me! I was feeling the same way. I was overwhelmed with Wyatt and not sure I wanted to put the effort into decorating. Mike convinced me to do it. We put the tree up last weekend, but I scaled back on the number of ornaments. I also didn’t decorate the rest of the house as much. It’s still festive, but it’s manageable. In the end, I’m glad I did it. I hope you find some joy in the upcoming holidays as well. 🙂
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I feel the exact same way about any kennel with openings at this point!! And seriously, no-one that isn’t approved by us takes care of our dog. And when I say approved by us, I mean friends and 1 dog sitter that works out of her house. There will never be any random kennels for our dog!
I’m glad you put the effort into scaled back decorating! I feel as though you will cherish the photos of Wyatt at his first Christmas and those decorations are part of that. 🙂
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We didn’t put up trees or decorations last year. I was feeling bad about our losses and not at all in the holiday spirit. It just felt so unimportant, so I get it. You aren’t a Scrooge.
And for the record, I wouldn’t board my dog either. I love my dog more than half my family anyway and enjoy her company more than theirs so no way!!!!
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I think at some point all of this heartache and waiting and just trying to survive gets to us, and if that means no Christmas decorations then so be it!
And I’m with you about the dog. She’s part of our family and just like a kid in our house. And she is treated as such. She does not get thrown into a kennel or locked in a garage. Simply no exceptions..
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