If You Don’t Like Her, We Can Just Return Her

  Posted on November 18, 2015 By

 26 Comments

20150621 - 100HappyDays_Day348The day we got our puppy, about 10lbs of pure love and fur, I was all smiles.  So was Mr. MPB.

As we left the puppy foster home, we hopped into our vehicle.  Mr. MPB was driving.  I was hugging our adorable little puppy who was shaking uncontrollably.

As I stared at our little furball, petting her and hoping she would calm down.  My only words:

“Hun, if you don’t like her, we can just return her”

The look on Mr. MPB’s face was priceless.  He knew in that moment, just as I did, she was never leaving us.  Clearly this dog was already a forever member of our family.

.

Mr. MPB still likes to tease me for that fact that I said we could returned her.  We knew we made a lifelong promise to love and protect her.  She’s an innocent rescue puppy who had a rough start 20150125 - 100HappyDays_Day199in life, and when she joined us at about 9 weeks old, we knew she’d never live that way again.  And now that she’s part of our family we are fully committed to giving her a life that all dogs dream about – lazy afternoons sleeping in the sunshine, walking around the block, playing in the park, always having healthy food and clean water that just appears in her dish, a lifetime supply of snuggles, regular medical care, the odd treat and the pure enjoyment of chasing a green laser light that dances across the floor.

Until I started the process of adopting a human I didn’t realize just how horrible my naive statement was.

The fact was, with the rescue organization we chose, there was a three week clause in the contact that said we could return her.  There is a lifelong clause that they will take her back if we were ever unable to care for her.  (And there was also a clause that states we cannot eat her…)

At the time, I didn’t mean for my comment to be anything other then cheeky and funny (I’m rather sarcastic in my real life). But now I realize that it’s just not the type of comment you make, there is no humor is suggesting any living thing can be returned.  I’ve learned and I know know better.  I now realize there are some things you just don’t say, and this was one of them.

Now that we are adopting a child I’ve been educated and my perspective has drastically changed.   I never want my child to know that I said this about our puppy.  Because, I never want our child to ever, not even for a millisecond, think that they could be returned.

For us, having a child(ren), adopted or not, means we are making a promise that is life long, just as it was/is for our puppy.  So long as I am alive, so long as Mr. MPB is alive, they will be our first priority.  And even through our wills, our child will continue to be our top priority  We will forever do our best to protect them, educate them and love them.  Nothing, absolutely nothing can break that promise.

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 Category: Adoption, Animals, Parenting      Tags: , , , , , , , ,

26 Comments on “If You Don’t Like Her, We Can Just Return Her”

    • It is really in the contract that we cannot eat her! After all the puppy screening we went through (multiple home visits, and a interviews) I was appalled that a clause like this is needed. But since we have no intentions of ever eating here, let alone hurting her in any way imaginable, we just signed away. 🙂

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      • lol. I would have asked them can we steam her and distribute in the neighbourhood? And by eat her does that mean in whole and one setting?

        What jerks :)) why waste my
        Time interviewing me and seeing if my house is puppy ready if U think I am going to eat her :))

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  3. I’m floored by the “won’t eat her” clause as well…you know they usually only make stupid rules like that because it has happened in the past! Which is disturbing!
    Anyway…of course you wouldn’t have taken her back! And of course you would never return a baby! Is that even allowed? Is there a “cooling off” period with adoption? I honestly don’t know. Either way, I know that you guys will obviously love that baby with all of your hearts, just like you do your dog! And nobody will ever be returned! 🙂

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    • First, I agree. The thought about why that clause is there makes my skin crawl.
      Second, I think the waiting period is considered the cooling off period in adoption!! By the time you wait for months/years you better know you are committed! 🙂 Or at least that’s my perspective.
      And no, to my knowledge there is no cooling off period once you have the child. How could there be?

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      • I have no idea, but stranger things have happened. Does the birth mother have a certain period of time where she can change her mind? I feel like I have heard that somewhere along the way, I just don’t remember where I heard it.

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  4. Happily this was a lesson you learned that sadly others do not! I hate when I see folks bringing animals back or “rehoming” them because their lives changed, like they had kids. Tons of people have told me that I will want to rehome the cats when the baby is born and it makes me sick! Those are my ORIGINAL babies! They’re mine!

    Somewhat unrelated, I have a friend who will only buy purebred cats and in the last 3 months she has tried to adopt 3 different sphynxs and two have died and one had so many medical problems she returned it to the breeder, where it will probably die, too. She keeps posting all these “heartbroken” statuses and I just want to scream… Adopt a cat! Pure bred animals tend to have illnesses because of irresponsible breeding, and obviously you aren’t choosing very good breeders, either. Ugh. My totally unrelated to the spirit of your post rant for the day 😉

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    • Unless my child is servery allergic to our dog, she is not going anywhere. Seriously, I will do everything in my power to help them coexist peacefully.
      And I’m so frustrated that your friend continues to choose bad breeders! It’s kind of funny, both Mr. MPB and I greatly up with purebred dogs and yet the only one we could agree on isnour rescue mutt. She’s just perfect. ☺

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  5. Ahhhh… but is there a clause in your adoption papers that says you can’t eat the baby? (Terrible joke. Terrible.)

    I too take the adoption of my pet very seriously. It’s a weird thing when you think about it. You’re promising to take care of this tiny being until the day they die. That sound morbid, but I also think it speaks to the bond that humans have with animals. It’s about the good times, like lazy sundays and long walks, and the hard times, when they need medical care because they have just eaten a roll of tin foil.

    I’m going through some drama with my cat who isn’t adjusting well to Chick. (Just boycotting his litter box. Which is gross.) And as much as this distresses me, it would distress me more to dump him at a shelter. We’re in this for the long haul!

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    • Oh my gosh, if there is such a clause in our human adoption paperwork I think I’m going to give up on humanity! Haha!
      We also took our puppy adoption very seriously and the agency we chose actually did an interview and multiple home visits (with and without) dog before we were allowed to adopt. It was actually fun. And made us feel comfortable with the agency we chose. We wanted to know our dog was treated well by them just as much as they wanted to know we’d treat her well. And now it makes me laugh how similar the process is to adopting a baby, just on a much grander scale for the human baby.

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  6. Do you think there will be a clause in your adoption paperwork that says you can’t legally eat your child too??!!!

    In all serious though, I think it is probably a little bit different, in that that being able to return an animal to shelter seems weird on the face of it, but really it is probably best for the animal that it is taken back if it truly doesn’t work out. Perhaps that animal doesn’t get on with a child in the household. Of course when it comes to adoption you have been through so much scrutiny and approval that you have every possible eventuality checked. Your child is going to fit in with your house, you are prepared in every way possible and is already loved before they have even made it into the world.

    By the way, this is a lovely post and I love that your fur baby chases a laser dot 🙂

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    • Seriously if I come across a clause like that I’m giving up on humanity!
      I do agree, adopting a dog is different then adopting a child! But in a way, looking back, it was kind of nice to go through he dog adoption process first.
      I too love that she enjoys chasing a laser dot, I think we should play that game tonight. ☺

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  7. When we adopted our Rescue Greyhound we found out that she had been previously adopted and returned because they said she looked sad and was always hungry. The latter we got but the former was because these people didn’t understand what they were getting into. It took a good 18 months for her to come out of her shell. The first six months were tough as she struggled with separation anxiety.

    It would have been easy to give up on her but we couldn’t do that based upon what she had been through having been returned previously after 4 years racing.

    Our patience paid off as she has truly become a part of our family and we are her family. We adore her and know she cares about us.

    I know it’s different with a human adoption and it’s easy to say what you would do having never been in that spot but it’s a big commitment that people need to be ready for and willing to take on any challenges that come their way. I know you and your husband will take on any challenges that come your way and be great parents.

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  8. That’s so funny – T and I were just talking about this as our neighbour got a new puppy a few weeks ago and it was meant to be trained as a seizure dog. Well… The puppy has been having seizures! Anyway we talked about the breeder (not nice apparently) and the concept of taking the dog back. Our neighbour said he couldn’t take the dog back as they were already in love with him!

    Then we talked about our Dog… He ended up needing a couple of operations (fortunately partly covered on health insurance). I said I would NEVER take him back, not even in the beginning. To me when you adopt someone, that means you take on the responsibility for them. You don’t get to pick if they’re “defective” or “damaged”.

    “Sold as seen” is one of the phrases we use in the uk. For adoption I would say it’s “adopted as seen” or even unseen. My parents didn’t see me before they adopted me and they never ever suggested there was any chance of us going back. (I’m sure they thought it, haha.)

    There are lots of complex feelings about adoption but maybe it’s my folks, but I’ve never had that feeling of being at risk of being sent back. They never mentioned it and if I ever asked my dad, he’d say he was stuck with me!

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  9. Health insurance = pet insurance! 🙂 I always think of Dog as the same as a human (a being, someone I love) and I forget sometimes that dogs and humans are different… I love Dog more than most humans! 🙂

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    • First, I’m in complete agreement, I love my dog more then many humans. I’m convinced we should all have dogs because a dog brings out the goodness in people. Maybe that’s he solution to world peace?
      Second, I agree. Dog adoption and human adoption (and cat adoption too), it’s all forever. I have no doubt that our response will be just like your dad’s – kid, your stuck with us – because there is literally no chance they are going anywhere, ever. ☺

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  10. So beautiful! I think we all tend to say things that we don’t realize are hurtful until after we are placed in a situation where we realize it. That’s why I don’t get too irritated anymore when people say things (just relax,etc.) to me. Does that make sense?

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  11. Thankful you did not eat her! 😉 I can not believe they feel a need to put this in the contract. By the way this was a lovely post, how lucky is your pup and I know your baby will feel nothing but love and security too. It is okay to say something in light knowing that you and the person know there is not a chance in hell that you mean it (I am a sarcastic one I must say). I am sure your child would not have any doubts of how much they were wanted. 🙂

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    • Thanks! I have to say the no eating clause makes me sad when I realize that’s the type of thing that probably only gets added for a reason…
      And thanks for your kind words. I think our dog knows she’s loved and wanted. And I do hope our child will feel the same way ☺

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