Off Balance Once Again
So, my thyroid is still out of whack.
In fact, out of whack is a bit of an understatement.
It seems that I’m getting blood work done every 4-6 weeks, and my numbers just keep changing. Which mean we keep altering my Synthroid dose to try to get my thyroid back into a healthy range. I go from one test where my TSH is too high, then the next test it is too low.
I’m frustrated beyond belief. Not because of the constant blood work, which in itself is annoying, but because I don’t feel like myself.
It’s like I’m an incompetent fool trying to gracefully walk along a balance beam with both my feet tied together.
I spend a week or two being absolutely exhausted, then I spend the next few weeks feeling like I cannot sit still, I don’t sleep soundly, my mind is racing and I’m pretty sure my heart racing as well.
Currently I most recently upped my dosage about 3 weeks ago (from 37.5MCG to 50MCG, and 50MCG caused me problems last time I was on this dose). And just like last time, I’m stressing over things that I shouldn’t rationally be anxious over. My mind seems to be racing, and sometimes bouncing around like a ping pong ball on crack. I’m starting to sleep poorly, in that I cannot stay asleep for any extended period of time. I’m finding myself tossing and turning all night long and at times even awake for hours in the middle of the night. I cannot sit still. The tension in my body is so great that I feel like I must be creating permanent wrinkle lines
. Heck, the best description I can think of is that I just generally feel like I’ve been wound up so tightly that at any moment a spring is going to let loose and I’m going to fly across the sky.
I know myself really well, and I just know when I’m off. And clearly I’m off right now.
Thankfully, this time I know the cause. Honestly, I feel exactly how I did last time we tried this Synthroid dose, so I know what the problem is.
But, my TSH blood work requires that I be on this dose right now. So, I don’t have much choice.
I can go get my blood work re-done, but honestly, based on the last few months I know the outcome: My TSH numbers will have dropped so I’ll drop my dose then in no time I’ll be exhausted and sleeping constantly. And then, once again in a few more weeks, we’ll test my TSH, they’ll have gone too high and so my Synthroid dose will go back up.
It’s like I’m part of an annoying little dance and it is driving me freaking crazy.
So, off to the doctor I’ll go once again for another spin on the dance floor. It’s a good thing I really like my family doctor and that I live in a part of the world where I don’t have to pay for each visit!!
P.S. I almost think it’s funny that I only write about this when I’m in that overly-medicated anxious state, not the under-medicated exhausted state.
P.P.S. I think my appointment with my counselor later this week will probably be entertaining as I wait to see how long it takes her to pick up on my crazy energy.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.