A Beautiful Coincidence

  Posted on July 3, 2015 By

 49 Comments

The other day I used Craigslist and bought a gently used baby swing thing – a mamaRoo with an infant insert to be specific. They retail for over $300 here and I paid $100.  I was really excited when I saw that the seat and infant insert are machine washable, so I’m not even worried about germs (or at least I wont be once I wash it).  It’s definitely not a need item, but at that price I just couldn’t resist.  And honestly if baby doesn’t like it, I’ll just re-sell it and buy another brand.

Anyways, the mamaRoo isn’t the point.  Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I bought.  It was the interaction with a perfect stranger that was fascinating.

She asked me if I had a little baby at home, and I said no, we are adopting and could be placed at anytime now, so we are just trying to get ready.  A sentence that used to make me awkward, but now it’s become just as normal for me as it would be for a pregnant lady to state her due date when she’s asked.  In response there were no looks of pity and no questions of why.  Instead, I noticed instantly that her eyes lit up, as if a spark was ignited within her.   Now, I can assure you, this has not be the normal response from people when we say we are adopting, so I immediately took notice.  It turns out they too are adopting!!  They have a few of their own biological children and are now in the early stages of an international adoption!  There choice is not due to infertility, but rather the desire to adopt a child who would otherwise grow up in a orphanage.  So, they are starting to sell baby stuff because they will be adopting a 2 or 3 year old.

It was almost as though our paths were meant to cross.

They are early in the process.  They are at the point where you’ve entered adoption, you’re committed but you are starting to realize all the insane nuances that make no logical sense.  Early enough in the process that they have started paying all kinds of bills but at the same time it feels like nothing is happening.  Needless to say, we had quite the conversation!  In fact, Mr. MPB was waiting for me in the car (as we always do when we buy things from online strangers) and was starting to worry because I was taking sooooo long.  He knows I’m chatty, but this was beyond even normal chatty for me.

I remember being in her shoes.  I remember being frustrated at the lack of movement from all the agencies involved in an international adoption.  I remember being frustrated that they would happily cash our checks but not even have the courtesy to tell us they received our package.  I remember wondering what the heck I was signing up for and questioning if I could get through it all.  I remember being annoyed at the wait for agencies to approve documents.  I remember the timelines being daunting.  I also remember our fear of the home study only to realize that it really wasn’t a big deal. Honestly, I remember questioning everything (heck, some days I still find myself questioning everything).  But, one thing I know for sure about international adoption is that the process isn’t easy.  In fact, it’s beyond frustrating at times and has driven me absolutely batty on more then one occasion.

And so we chatted.  She asked me questions and I answered to the best of my ability (since we are adopting from different counties I couldn’t relate to everything). She wanted to know how long the entire approval process takes, how much we expect to spend, what agency we are working with locally, how we got through the process, etc.  All the types of questions that I too once asked and thought about.  Honestly, it was a great conversation.  I wish we had the entire evening to talk over a cup of tea.  But neither of us had the time so I offered that she can reach out to me via email anytime.  And if nothing else, I hope she appreciated knowing that all of her fears and frustrations are normal.

As I stood there chatting with her, I remembered how the first adoptive parents we talked to about adoption opened their home and hearts to us, and talked with us for hours about our fears and the their realities of being adoptive parents. To this day, I am still thankful for them.  In fact, I have even told them that I credit the evening for helping give us the courage to choose adoption.  So, in my own way, I felt like I was able to give something back to someone else in the adoption community!I   Needless to say, I was thrilled!

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 Category: Adoption, Baby      Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

49 Comments on “A Beautiful Coincidence”

  1. This is amazing! It’s so funny how things happen sometimes, how you end up in situations where it started out as no big deal, but then feels like it was always meant to happen that way. I hope you guys end up staying in touch and you can help her out with more stuff.

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  2. This is such an awesome story! I had chills while reading it! It is as if you two were meant to meet!

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  3. I have always felt that your in depth knowledge of the adoption process plus your great personality would be an asset to others. I know you share tips and advice on your blog regularly, but I’m also glad that you had the opportunity to share face to face with somebody. I’m so proud of you and so happy that you’re at that place where sharing about your adoption is a wonderful thing. That talking about it casually with a stranger doesn’t bring up frustration of hurt, but feelings of excitement and pride. I love this.

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    • Awe, thanks my friend! Honestly, it’s pretty amazing that I can now talk about adoption without a million thoughts running through my mind – it’s been a monumental process, but I am beyond thrilled that we are at this point now! And it’s such a great thing to be able to share this with others. 🙂

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  5. Amazing! How incredible to cross paths! When we first considered adoption, and thought maybe we’d like to adopt an older. We were just considering the idea – it was something I had never considered before so we were really thinking on it. The next day I was at a conference for work, and there was a patient of ours there as a representative for our organization and we were chatting and she started talking about how she had just finalized the adoption of her son – who was older. She was going on and on, and I just couldn’t help myself but mention that we were considering it. It was so healing to connect with her, and so emotional. We still plan to adopt even though we are giving treatment one last go – but I truly think I was meant to meet her. I think you were meant to meet her – what a happy coincidence!

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    • Isn’t it amazing when our lives are touched by someone who just get’s us? I love that you too had such a great moment with someone, who helped you! Happy coincidences are pretty amazing! 🙂

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  6. Hooray! What a wonderful story — I’m so happy the two of you met! I hope she follows up by email and that you eventually get that evening chatting over a cup of tea. Or better yet, maybe a playdate with your children after you’re both placed. 🙂

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  8. I’m soooo behind on your many amazing posts! I love the swing and so glad you ran into this woman. You may have discussed this already, but are there any adoptive parent support groups or just fun gatherings you can join or create to meet other parents like them? It would be nice for you and Mr MPB to have people to commensurate with and share stories, advice etc. I’m glad you met her.

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    • I love the swing too! I hope our baby loves it, but I like my back-up plan of reselling it if baby doesn’t. 🙂
      We do attend an adoptive parent session that runs in our area. We do attend them, but they are cancelled for the summer. And we’ve made some great friends too that we now socialize with too. Our local circle is growing, which is great for us today, and will probably be great for our child eventually too.

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      • That really is great, it’s nice to meet like-minded people or at lest people going through similar experiences. I can’t keep up with all of your amazing posts! but in following and supporting you!

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  9. That is so cool! I love finding others that can really relate to what you’re going through. I’m happy that you’re able to pass some on the knowledge you’ve gained from this process!

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  11. Interactions like the one you described are one of my favorite things about life. In fact, it’s how I feel about meeting Spirit Baby. 🙂

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    • I’m glad to hear that the MamaRoo is awesome. A few people told me about it and when I saw it for that price I just had to buy it! I hope our baby loves it. 🙂

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  13. First of all – $100! That is a steal of a deal for a Mamaroo. I have never seen one listed for that price. And secondly, I love how the universe works it’s magic. You were destined to meet 🙂

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    • I’ve been trying to only buy necessities, but when I saw that Mamaroo for $100 I couldn’t believe it and had to buy it. Also, I like you term, the universe worked it’s “magic” – what a great perspective. 🙂

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  15. That is one of several beautiful things about the adoption community. I have never met more supportive, helpful and kind people in my life. It is an honour to be counted among them! And for all out differences, we share so many important similarities.

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    • You make a great point about the adoption community – they seem to be cheering each other on constantly! It’s a wonderful group of people and I am so glad to be getting more and more into the community. 🙂

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  16. I think that is so wonderful that you connected and were able to answer questions that momma had. Paying it forward 🙂
    We have that mommaRoo and our little enjoys it. Yay for you on the steal of a price though.

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  18. So awesome. I feel like choosing adoption has opened up a whole new beautiful and poignant world that you would otherwise have never even known about.

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    • I think you are right! The choice of adoption in so many ways has become such a blessing to our lives. I know it’s not for everyone, but honestly, sometimes I don’t understand why more people wouldn’t want to adopt, once we got out minds into it it’s brought us so much happiness! 🙂

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    • I am excited for more of these moments! There is just something so special about being able to help someone through the adoption process – just as you do for me all the time. 🙂

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      • Aw, thanks friend:) There were some who walked ahead of me who pulled me up and along as I was going thru the adoption process. It feels awesome to pass it on and you will continue to have so much great info, hope and encouragement to give others. So excited for you!

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  22. That’s a great buy! I have no idea why we didn;t think of looking on Craigslist or some site like that for one of these. We just thought, $300×2?! Yeah right!!! Awesome that you were able to find it, and how great about that family that you bought it from…sometimes, (most of the time) life works out just the way it needs to!

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    • Ya, I was not going to get a mamaroo unless I could find one online for an awesome price. So needless to say I was rather happy when I stumbled across this one and it worked to buy it. And the added bonus of meeting someone else starting the adoption process was just great. 🙂

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