A Moment of Sheer Panic
What if we are matched tomorrow?
Seriously, we could be matched tomorrow!! Or the next day. Or the next. Or the next.
We are so not ready!!!
I cannot even write a list of things we need, because I have no idea what we need!
Our child will have somewhere to sleep, and we will have a few books to read to him/her. And now thanks to the generosity of a few amazing friends, we have a couple more things. But, in the scheme of baby stuff, we have lots of things to get still.
Really, we do not have anything ready yet!
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We have no diapers – heck, we haven’t even talked about cloth or disposable.
A diaper genie that sounds like a good idea as no-one likes smelling poop all day long. Don’t have one of those yet.
Baby wipes. I’m guessing we’ll need some of those.
And clothing too. Currently our child will be naked, virtually every day of their life!
Receiving blankets. None of those yet either. I’m guessing they are a good idea.
What about formula. Yup, haven’t even begun to look into brands and options. Add that the list.
And maybe bottles. Yes, barring some sort of super human ability our child will need some sort of mechanism to get the formula into them.
What about a soother. Are those good or bad? What brands do we buy? How many do we need?
Since we will be flying, how do babies travel via plane? Can we just hold the baby, is that still allowed? Am I an unfit parent for thinking that’s still okay?
The kid might have to ride in a car from time to time. What’s the best car seat brand? If they all say they have 5 star ratings, which one is actually the best?! If I screw this up, our kid could die! Like seriously, DIE! Shit, we’ve got to get this one right…
And what about a stroller and a bike carrier? What age can they go behind a bike? I’ve heard BOB Revolution has the best running stroller. And I’ve heard UPPAbaby is the best. If they are all the best, how the heck are we supposed to decide?! Do I have to buy one for each activity and have like 10 of them at home? I hope not, these things are freaking expensive!
Can I buy used? Are some things mandatory buy new only? I really want to buy second-hand as much as possible.
What about a bassinet? Do we need one? Should we have one? The books say don’t waste your money, but they seem like such a good idea.
Maybe I should read more books! Oh, but there are so many books, and they all contradict each other. Where do I start? What do I believe!?
What about bathing a kid? Can I use a sink for that or do I need an actual tub thing? (Yes, I just called it a tub thing, if it has a proper name I am unaware of it).
Oh, and on the subject of bathing, what about soap. Do you even use soap to wash a baby?
What about a snot sucker thing. My cousins used our vacuum attachment with their kid, it looked like cruel torture, is this device normal? Do I have to torture our child to be a good mom?!
How do we introduce our dog to our child? They are going to be best buds even if they don’t know it yet. Oh, Sadie, please don’t eat the baby!
We should probably get a bouncy chair and a baby carrier too. Those sound important.
Oh, shit, I don’t even have a mom to call to ask any of these questions. Seriously, how the hell are we going to do this…
Oh my, what have we signed up for?!
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In all seriousness, I do know how we are going to do this – with the help of my amazing friends. if you have any must have immediately upon baby arrival recommendations please let me know! We are trying to make sure we have the bare minimums covered so we are ready in case we get the call.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
My Perfect Breakdown 
You’ll do it! I don’t think any parent ever feels truly prepared before baby. But you’ll do it, and you’ll be GREAT. Even if the little one doesn’t have a closet full of onesies…YET.
PS – the UppaBaby is a good stroller, but it’s a MONSTER in size. I recommend the Bugaboo Bee. Well made, lightweight, and works for any age (newborn up to kid).
I think when your baby is here, you’ll be given lots of hand-me-downs, etc…
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Thank you Lindsay! I love your suggestions!! I figure so long as we can put formula in our babies tummy, clothing on our baby when we leave the house, and supply a constant stream of love, we’ll get through it. 🙂
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We have started on this all too even though we have a known time limit for ours. In some ways that makes yours so much more daunting!
Just FYI on the pacifier/soother thing I had always assumed they were bad but there are real studies to show they can regulate breathing and lessen the risk of SIDS!! So I’m clearly on board with them now! I hear the Avent Soothies are fabulous so that’s what I’m going to try first I think.
You can do this. If it helps make lists and just start to get things, one thing at a time, tick things off!
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I’ve heard the struggle with soothers is if you are trying to breastfeed. Since this wont be our situation I’m all about giving our child anything (that is safe) which will help calm them down when they are upset. 🙂
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I love everything about this post friend. It made me laugh and have a few tears of joy for you. You’ll be great I promise you that. ❤
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Awe, thanks!! It’s such a nice change of pace from the last few years. I’m excited to be terrified that we will actually get a baby! 🙂
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Your baby doesn’t really need jack for the first couple of weeks but you. Get formula (try a brand that’s gentle on the stomach first — apparently Neutremagin is the most like breast milk), diapers, wipes and swaddles (I liked the Adan and Anais for when L was really little). Boom, done. Lettie didn’t even wear clothes because she was just swaddled all the time. And if you don’t have the right kind of anything when the baby is here, that’s what 24 hour pharmacies and Amazon Prime are for. We utilized those heavily in the first few weeks. One thing that helped a lot in the first few weeks for sleep was the fisher price rock n play sleeper. This was the only thing L would sleep in at all for the first few weeks. This is cheaper and better than a bassinet I think.
P.S. My vote for stroller is the city mini, hands down. Folds up like a charm and rides like a dream. Also, you can all or email any time those first few weeks. I’m gonna email you my phone number. I didn’t have a mom to call either, so I got by on friends.
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Thanks so much for all of this!! In some ways I think it’s a blessing that we will be traveling for the first few weeks with baby – we wont be able to bring everything! So we will be living with basics and making the best of what we have.
I’ll be looking into the fisher price rock n play sleeper! Anything that baby can sleep in sounds like a great idea!! 🙂
You are such a sweetheart!! I am so excited to be able to have you on speed dial when we are spending our first few weeks with our baby – who knows, maybe we’ll end up in your state and you’ll get to meet baby before anyone else!! 🙂
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I use my rock and play ALL THE TIME because it’s so portable…room to room we go! I’d never get in a shower everyday with it!
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Oh my I totally get this! Even though I know I have 9 months (or so), it does feel overwhelming. Do you follow/know any other women who have gone through the same thing with traveling for adoption etc? If so maybe reach out to them. I know a few so let me know if you want me to get you in contact with them. You can do this! One step at a time!
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It is overwhelming, right?! We have a few people IRL we know, but most have adopted children who are a year or two old. So the infant stage is new. But, I’m confident that someone else out there in the adoption blogging world will have some great words of advice on those first few weeks with baby while traveling! If your friends have any suggestions feel free to let me know, I will take any advice I can get. 🙂
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I will email you!!!
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Lol. Sorry, but you are panicking for nothing hon!
Dont worry, you dont need much, any newborn anywhere just needs basic essentials, rest are all stuff you can buy as the days progress. I jsut had one suggestion reg. formula.
The hospital will feed the child formula when he/she is born. If that suits the baby, continue with the same. Dont switch. Also, as much as possible, get the prepacked liquid formulas. They only feed this at hospitals and not powders(at least here in Toronto). This has 0 contamination issues, so there wont ever be a recall on them.
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You are awesome my friend! I love your words of wisdom about the formula. We plan to use whatever the hospital uses while we are out of country so long as it works. Once we get to Canada we’ll see if we can get the same thing here and if not we will have to find something else. But we will cross the bridge when we get there so to speak.
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Oh wow, I know this feeling. It’s so daunting when you don’t know when the baby will come! You will be great, and it will all work out. Seriously.
Some advice on some of the items you mentioned:
First, I was honestly surprised at how many second-hand clothes we got. If there are people in your life with babies, you may be surprised as well. People also love to buy clothes after you get a baby. I guess because baby clothes are the cutest. Also, nothing wrong with a naked baby.
We don’t use blankets very much, but we have a very hot natured dude.
Carriers are awesome. I would see if you have a chapter of babywearing international near you. We paid $30 for the year and check out a carrier from their lending library each month. They are expensive, and this way you get to see what works best for you before investing the big bucks. That being said, we have an Ergo and it’s my favorite baby item.
We love our cloth diapers. Love. It’s not for everyone, but I love that it is easier on the environment and that it’s gentle on his bum, and hubby loves the money savings. And we use cloth wipes because it’s easier with the diapers (they both go in one bin instead of throwing one in the diaper bin and one in the trash). We just use baby washcloths and keep a bowl of water there to dampen them. If you want to know more about it or the brands we use, let me know and we can talk about it 🙂
If you want a jogging stroller and you want a bike trailer, we got a Burley that works as both. It’s pricey, but it’s cheaper than buying one of each. Be warned that it’s pretty big, though. Also, know that you aren’t supposed to pull them behind a bike until they are 1.
Don’t go overboard with the soothers until you know if baby will actually take one. Bub has never taken one. Now that he’s older, he’ll play with it and chew on it, but he had never shown any interest in suckling on one.
Get a couple of different bottles. It might be different if a baby is bottle fed from the beginning, but it might take a couple of tries to find one that baby prefers. Bub wouldn’t use the Medela ones (it was much too convenient since they worked with my pump). He will only take the Lansinoh mOmma bottle.
We skipped the infant car seat and just got a convertible one. It saves money in the long run, and it turns out that was a great decision bc he hates riding in the car so there is no “carrying him in the house in the car seat because he’s fast asleep.”
Oh, and you can never have too many burp cloths. Never.
Wow, sorry for the novel. If you have questions or want more info, let me know and I’ll get you my personal email or phone number so we can text.
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Hey, how are you doig with cloth diapers after solids? I had my LO on cloth till he started solids. Once solids started, the Poop smells awful and he also started getting rashes on the bum. I use the kushies brand. I really liked cloth, but was forced to switch to disposables. Maybe there is something I did wrong. Any advice?
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We started solids last Thursday, so it’s top early to say at this point. I hope it works out though!
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Thanks so much for all of your advice RainbowCatcher!! Honestly, I had no idea there were groups that let you rent baby carriers!! That sounds like an awesome way to try out all of the options out there, because there are just so many! And they are so expensive that I really don’t wan to end up buying multiples. I’ll definitely look into what we have here!
And the advice about the burp cloths is great, I assume I will get to start doing laundry like it’s going out of style once we have babe!
And your words of wisdom about the cloth diapers is great, I really need to start investigating what we are going to. I figure while we are out of the county we will just be doing disposables but once we get home and I have access to a washing machine cloth sounds like it might be a good idea.
Thank you again! You are awesome! 🙂
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I do cloth and disposable combination. Cloth at home and disposable when we’re out and about. I also just use washcloths instead of wipes. There are a lot of chemicals in wipes that can be harsh to sensitive skin, so I prefer plain water and washcloths. You’ll do great!
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I am also in agreement with the citi mini– the ease is so important. Here is my absolute must list: Avent newborn bottles, similar sensitive formula, a bassinet that rolls so you can take a sleeping baby wherever you go ( I never wanted him out of my sight) a rock n play because babies who will not sleep in anything will sleep in this (seriously best purchase ever) a few swaddles ( get the cheat kind that make it so easy) diapers and wipes, a newborn car seat that is light (Graco makes a great one that connects to a stroller base so you can take a sleeping baby on the go (pretty inexpensive too). That is it! I am of the mindset that have enough to make you all comfortable but not so much you can’t go anywhere without lugging lots of stuff around. Oh and pacifiers are a big yes in our house. Have worked wonders and are great for self soothing. Feel free to email me with any questions. Finally– if you had to get just basics go with light car seat and stroller base, bottle and formula and diaper stuff and the bassinet and rock n play. It is almost good not to have too much because you will see what you need as you go along. Xoxo
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I love your list of must-haves right away!! Thank you so very much! A bassinet that rolls sounds like a great idea – I hadn’t thought about that! You also make a good point about lugging stuff around, because we will be living in a hotel/condo for the first few weeks of babies life so we need to be pretty compact with our newborn purchases!
Thanks again! 🙂
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Yep. My bassinet rolls….and my little guy is colicky and often needs to lay on his tummy. Can’t do that in a rock and play, so I use my bassinet all the time too! I purchased it second hand on craigslist ($50)…it’s awesome.
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*similac not similar formula
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I’m going to comment a bunch of suggestions ONLY because I just spent the last 2-3 weeks panicking about every single one of these things as I tried to build a registry.
1.) Don’t worry about diapers. Not only will people come with diapers by the carload, but they could not possibly be easier to locate and the hospital will give you more than enough to get you back home and to the grocery store. If you want to pick up a box of newborns, more power to you, but I’m not buying not one single box.
2.) You need a diaper genie like you need a hole in the head. Seriously, they are gross. Have you ever changed a diaper genie? You don’t want to. Days (possibly a week’s) worth of nasty diapers separated by a thin layer of plastic, ew. Everyone has their own preferences, but at our house each diaper will be thrown in the normal trash can, which gets taken out way more often than that!
3.) The car seat thing was huge for me and I decided on the Britax B-Safe infant seat with the corresponding Britax B-Agile stroller. The stroller is super lightweight and really easy to collapse, and it’s a travel system so the car seat just clicks into it. I’m pretty sure the B-Safe seat is also compatible with BOB jogging strollers, which I’ve heard from about a billion people are the absolute best and worth their price tag.
4.) Hand-me-downs are AMAZING. I thought I would be one of those moms that needed a new everything for their precious baby, and I am SO NOT. I say take what you can get, EXCEPT for car seats (unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were never in an accident and well-kept) and crib mattresses/bassinets, again, unless you know where they came from because bugs. In general, knowing where they came from probably isn’t a bad rule of thumb, but I got a TON of hand me downs from friends and family and I am not ashamed!
5.) We are getting a bassinet because my husband is 100% convinced he will roll over on the baby and kill her if we don’t. I don’t believe this is true and know tons of people who got along just wonderfully with one of those little co-sleepers in the bed, for like $50. We are getting a HALO bassinet, though, but that’s mostly because I’m worried about a C-section and being able to get up and down out of bed. You could always just get a pack-and-play that has a bassinet attachment.
6.) Also since you aren’t having a C-section, I say go for it on a baby tub if you want, especially if you have a second bathroom that you guys don’t have to shower in. You won’t have any trouble leaning over the edge of the tub to bathe your baby, but babies can be just as effectively cleaned in a sink as well! I really liked the Angelcare bather, because it was lightweight, small, and wasn’t made of fabric that would get all mildew-y.
7.) I don’t know what you mean by soothers, but a swing and/or a bouncer is a must-have. I would definitely have one of these around because when the baby is inconsolable you do not want to have to wait for hubby to get back from the store with one. And what if the kid is screaming and it’s not business hours? Oh god. Almost all babies like them and almost all mothers say they are life-savers. We bought a Mamaroo, which is a swing and bouncer all in one, but we only got it because I found the old model at a steep discount, because those suckers are expensive!
Working on my registry and trying to decide must-have’s from nice-to-have’s and completely-unnecessary’s was really, REALLY hard… I’m no expert by any means but I’m happy to share what I’ve learned and what feedback I’ve gotten if it helps! Or I can just share my crazy registry with you if you’d like, that was the most helpful thing for me was looking at friends’ old registries!
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You are so amazing! Thanks for sharing all your thoughts! After reading your comments I managed to find a used mamaroo for $100 rather then the $300 new pricetag! And the fabric zips off for easy washing and drying so I had no hesitation with buying this one used. I am still thrilled with the purchase! 🙂
And thanks for the brand of car seat you’ve decided on. I’ll check that one out.
If you want to share your registry send me an email, I’d be happy to steal ideas directly from you.
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Now you have me worried and I am still waiting for IVf. 🙂 It is overwhelming when you write it like that… Not to fear though, it will all fall into place.
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Hahaha! I think so long as we both just take it one step at a time we’ll be fine. 🙂
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Oh man, haha, I think regardless of how your baby travels into your arms, you never really feel prepared. I tried as best as I could but I also knew that some things were going to depend on our babies preference. For instance, lots of people swear by the swaddle sacs so I bought 4. We one once. Now the Aden and Anais blankets are going to have holes in them because we use those literally every day. I wanted to buy as much as I could before mat leave started but some purchases even expensive ones are inevitable. And don’t feel like you have to read any books…you know I’m a reader too but when it comes to parenting, I just let my instincts do the work (which I know yours will too) and when I’m in doubt, then I’ll go read and see if it fits my instincts at the moment. In the meantime…enjoy the nesting and shopping!!
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Thanks so much!!! I’m like you, I want to buy as much as we can now because our adoption bills are only going to get higher as we get closer to placement. So I want to try to spread out the funds the best I can. I’m sure we will end up needing to buy some stuff, but it would be great to be able to buy as much as we can now.
I will be sure to get a few Aden and Anals blankets so we can find out if our child loves them just as much as yours do!
Thanks again my friend. 🙂
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Agree with PP’s that in the early days, you don’t need a lot.
– Feed: Agree with a PP that you should wait and see what formula the hospital uses and continue with that if the baby tolerates it. I would only switch if the baby isn’t digesting it well. The hospital will send you home with some and you can order more off Amazon or pick up at a local store.
– Clothe: Buy a few cheap onesies in newborn and 3 month sizes. The rest people will either give you as gifts or hand me downs, and you can buy more when the baby comes. It’s hard to know sizes for seasons so tough to buy too far ahead. You don’t know that a baby born in January will be in 6 month clothes in the summer, for instance.
– Diaper: I wanted to do cloth diapers but this was one of the only things DH was adamant about. He thought disposables would be easier and I have to say, I’m glad we went this route. If you do disposables, you can buy a bunch at any convenience, grocery, or big box store after the baby is born. You can go without a diaper genie (or something similar) for a few days or a week.
– Car seat: You do need a car seat to bring the baby home. Go to a baby store and check them out in person. You don’t need to travel to the US with it. Just have one selected and when you’re at the hospital, you can order it on Amazon and have it shipped.
– Stroller: I would suggest getting a wrap or carrier instead for the early days. They are great on a plane. People really like the ergo’s and moby’s.
I think those are the priorities. You can send Mr. MPB out with a list after the baby is born. Good luck 🙂
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Thanks so much for all your thoughts!! I am torn on cloth vs. disposable diapers – I see benefits to both. I know while we are in the USA we will use disposable for convenience sake but we might switch it up to cloth when we get home.
And i love the idea of just using a wrap in the early days. I suspect we will end up using it all the time, so we should really go try them out before baby comes into our lives. I too have heard that ergo’s and moby’s are awesome, so those are the ones I’m leaning to.
And the idea of shipping the car seat to the hotel in the USA is awesome! Brilliant in fact! 🙂
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You should read “The Kid” by Dan Savage. He did an open adoption back in the 90s. 🙂
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Thanks for the book suggestion. I have not read that one yet! I’ll look it up right away.
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I know you’re freaking out, but these are the best kinds of things to be freaking out over! I won’t make any recommendations because we haven’t actually used anything yet, but I did find that reviews on Amazon were really helpful when I was planning things. When I was having my own freak out last week, I continuously reminded myself that all a new baby needs is love, food, clothes, diapers, and a place to sleep. None of it needs to be fancy, and it’s likely that you’ll probably have to try a few different variations on all of the above (except the love part) before you find what works best. I guess technically a car seat is also a necessity–at least it is for us. Tip for that: If you go with an infant carrier car seat, install the base if you want, but don’t put the carrier in until you know you’re going to need it. That way if you have a fender bender, you only have to replace the base unit and not the entire car seat.
I’m so, so happy for you. I know the waiting is probably brutal, but it’s nice to see you on this side of the wait finally!
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You make such a great point Molly, it is pretty awesome that we’ve reached a point where we are thinking about all of this now. Two years ago, heck even a year ago, I never thought we’d be here. It really is pretty amazing. 🙂
Great tip about the car seat not going in until it’s time for baby to use it. I plan to put off buying the car seat as long as possible because we really don’t know when we will need it and they expire.
Thanks again for your excitement. By the way, how are you doing?
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Haha! This made me laugh – totally normal reaction and I’m STILL asking myself some of those questions! I hope you are matched tomorrow, or the day after, because it will be an amazing joyful thing, and no matter what you don’t have, you have love and that will see you through until you can get to the shops :-). So excited for you…! xxx
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Thanks so much Faye! I love your confidence in me! And, I too would love to get a call tomorrow that we’ve been matched! I think I’d be so shocked that I wouldn’t even know what to say! 🙂
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Holding baby on the plane is fine up to age 2. I have flow with both of my babies like this. They need to be sucking a bottle or binky during take off/landing to help their ears pop. Levi threw up I believe from the pressure building up. Both of my babies did terrific with flying tho.
I recommend the Arms Reach co sleeper. I have the mini. Used it with Tru till about 5+ months and Levi is using it now. I LOVE it! I also love graco car seats and strollers. They seem well made and durable. Also easy to carry.
You will do just fine. I think your instincts will just kick in right away and you will just KNOW what to do.
Also, I use a bulb syringe for sucking out the boogies. (Vacuum sounds pretty harsh) The hospitals send baby home with one and usually they also send baby home with a soothie binky. I don’t like the soothies tho because they fall out too much. But Levi won’t take a binky anyways. Tru loved his and I loved him having it for security. 🙂
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Thanks for letting me know the details about flying! And thanks for the heads up about their ears and the pressure and your strategies for helping them! 🙂
And thanks for the co-sleeper suggestion! It doesn’t look like I can get one in Canada though! I’ll do a bit more reading and searching and see what I can find.
And I love your thoughts on the bulb syringe vs. vacuum set up! I tend to agree with you on this one and think I’ll be staying away from the vacuum one.
Thanks so much. 🙂
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Oh I’m sorry, your post made me laugh a bit! But in all seriousness, I’m not surprised you feel like this, you’ve protected yourself from all this baby gear stuff up until now! NOw is the time to get serious with a shopping list! If you set up a registry now even if it’s just your own shopping list this will help contain the vastness of this task on your hands! Here’s a link to top wish list apps to start your shopping list!!! (I don’t know which countries they work in though)
http://www.appappeal.com/apps/wishlist
You already have a good basis for your list in this post!!! Researching each one will take some time, but bit by bit you’ll tackle that monster!
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I’m all about laughter, so I’m glad you enjoyed this. 🙂
You are so right, we avoided everything baby for so long that now it’s almost overwhelming trying to sort through it all. But, thankfully you and everyone else has so many good ideas to get me started!
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The only thing I wouldn’t buy used is the carseat. Anything else, you could probably get second hand if you want to. 🙂 And you can hold the baby on the plane! 🙂 I would suggest Honest Company for bath soap, shampoo and all that stuff. They even have diaper rash cream and it’s quality products. Not harsh chemicals. They sell it at Target here and I also order online direct from the company. Most stuff, you can buy and figure out after you’re placed. You’ve got this and you will get it all figured out, I have doubt about that!
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Thanks my friend! I love your advice. Car seat and crib are the two items that I want to buy new. And we have the crib so now it’s just the car seat that we need to figure out. And thanks for the tip about Honest Company!
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Catching up on bloggers now! I agree with others, don’t buy the carseat used. I am a weirdly obsessive organizer and I have an excel spreadhseet of baby stuff to buy, listed by category (including the “it can wait” category). Email me if you would like it!
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What’s your email address?? I’d love to have your tips!
As for the car seat, I completely agree, we will buy it new. And we are waiting until the very last moment on the car seat since we have no idea when we will be placed and they expire. I just need to pick out the brand that we are going to buy.
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Car seats usually last 7-10 years, most brands do. So, if you see any on sale nearby, go for it. They are effing expensive so a deal is a good time to get them.
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Looks like you’ve got lots of good advice and tips here from everyone. I’ve researched travel a bit, because I’m desperate to go on vacation during Christmas when Dumplin’ll be less than 2 months. This is what I understand so far: most airlines allow you to check in for free: a car seat and a stroller or a car seat and a pack and play, in addition to your one piece of luggage, if you’re travelling wth a baby. Now, I don’t know if you can get some kind of letter to prove that you’re picking up a baby, but you’ll for sure have no problem when you’re heading back to Canada with him/her. Also, you can request a bassinet on the plane- they apparently have some. Try to book the aisle and window seats in a 3-seat row- people don’t generally want to sit “bitch” between you. Often if you ask flight attendants at check in- they’ll try to accommodate you. On your trip to pick baby up- you’ll probably want to bring: car seat, baby-wearing carrier (baby can be cuddled on your lap during the flight), diapers, wipes, bottles avec formula, clothes, swaddle wrap for sleeping, stroller is a maybe- some are convertible into a bassinet, which baby could sleep in if you’re staying in a hotel for a while, or while waiting to board flights etc. but my guess is that you’ll want to be close to him/her for comfort so you don’t really need a stroller.
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You are right, so many words of wisdom in these comments! I’m thrilled. 🙂
As for travelling to the USA to pick up baby, I will see if we can get a letter from someone in the adoption world to give to the airline, but I suspect they’ll charge us to write the letter. So, I figure we’ll just pay to check the baby stuff on the way there if they make us – honestly, in the scheme of adoption that’s the cheapest type of bill we will face!
And thanks for all the good ideas about what we need to bring to the USA. It’ll be interesting living in a hotel/condo for the first few weeks of our child’s life. I expect it will put an interesting twist on first time parenting. I figure a room with laundry and a kitchen will be an absolute necessity!
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You know what, I’m glad you’re having these moments of sheer panic. Because that means you are so close! And you will figure it out and be prepared when the time comes, just as much as any other parent. But, you should probably start stocking up on diapers and wipes and clothes and definitely a snot sucker! My brother has one for my nephews and that thing does look like torture, but it works! LOL
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Thanks Wifey! I too am glad that we are at a point where these moments of panic exist. Honestly, I wasn’t sure we’d ever get here. If I think back to where we were two years ago, or even just one year ago, I would never have guessed that we’d be here today!
And thank you so much for your suggestions! We actually hit up a used baby store today and bought a bunch of onesies and sleepers. So we are one step closer to being ready.
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Okay, first off? You will NEVER be ready! Prepare to spend the rest of your life catching up… 🙂
Secondly, all these worries you’re having … Honey, we have a population explosion. And most of the population explosion is happening in countries that have never even heard of most of the stuff you’re worrying about. Babies aren’t that fragile – really! You’re going to be fine!
Third, clothes (onesies, vests, etc) – go to the cheapest store in your neighborhood and stock up on the basics for a newborn. Do NOT spend a lot of money on tiny baby clothes – it really doesn’t matter if the quality isn’t great, because baby will outgrow them before they have time to unravel.
I hope you choose cloth diapers. I used them, had a bucket (just a regular big bucket with a lid) to keep the used ones in. Every morning I’d put a fresh supply of Steri Nappi – http://www.takealot.com/elizabeth-anne-s-steri-nappi-powder-1kg/PLID32834501 – which is apparently a South African product, but there HAS to be an equivalent over here! It’s powder that you mix into water and you dump cloth diapers into it to soak. At the end of the day, the diapers go into the washing machine.
If you get cloth diapers, also use diaper liners. They are disposable (flushable), but much less of a burden on the environment than Pee goes right through them, and they catch poop so you don’t (usually) have to deal with rinsing it off the diaper. (I say “usually” because sometimes babies do explode.)
You’ve had lots of excellent advice above … The one other thing I’d consider a must have is some sort of sling carrier to hold your baby against your body while you’re walking. You will not believe how wonderful those are – for you and the baby! They help with colic, they’re soothing for an upset baby, and they leave your hands free to get other things done. You may even be able to use it on the airplane … I sure hope you’re allowed to hold your baby while traveling!
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You sound just like Mr. MPB with your second point! He keeps saying that people have been having babies for centuries so we’ll probably be fine. I think his laid back approach will help balance out my worries about all of this. 🙂
And thank you so much for all your suggestions! I know while we are living in a hotel for the first few weeks we will use disposables, but I may switch to cloth when we get home and I will have easy access to cleaning everything. I really haven’t thought too much about this yet, but I’m thrilled to have your advice.
And we will absolutely be going to check out baby carriers in the near future. They are expensive so I’m hoping we get lucky and buy the right one the first time.
Thanks again!!
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Babies R Us has a checklist of things you must need vs. “good to have” items vs. splurges. I found it very helpful! A LOT of stuff can wait until after baby arrives, is what I’m learning. For example, you don’t need to bathe baby the second he/she enters your home. I’m in a slightly different situation – I’m pregnant, but we lost our first baby and I’m scared to get too much, so we’re stocking up on ONLY essentials. Like Anamarie, I got the Britax B-safe car seat, which fits in the BOB Motion stroller (they are the same company). I STRONGLY recommend shopping sales – we got the “buy the stroller get the compatible car seat free” deal from REI around Christmas! Only other things I thought were necessary were a few diapers and wipes to get us started (so I don’t have to go to the store in the first week), some receiving blankets, bassinet w/mattress and sheets, changing table, and a few outfits. Everything else can wait, especially as we have no idea what this baby will prefer anyway!
http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=3200390
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Thanks for these links!! This is the first time I’ve heard of an adoption list!! I love that they thought about us adoptive parents who have to live in hotels for the first few weeks with our babies. 🙂
And thanks for the note about the Britax Bssafe car seat being comparable with BOB. We bought a BOB revolution stroller second hand and planned to find a car seat that would easily work with it. It sounds like you’ve done my homework for me!
Thanks again!!
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Oh wow! Just checked and Babies R Us has a checklist specifically for adoptive parents! http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=18652296
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Can I please just write you an essay now?? Lol! When Little Man was born we didn’t really have anything (on account of my fear) but we had:
– enough onesies (because it was hot here) to cover a week or so, someone also got us unisex long onsies and some vests.
– one pack of newborn nappies
– wipes
– a car seat
– a stroller
– Oh and a very expensive nappy bag, just because I like bags and could afford it at the time!
– Oh AND the basinesste – yes, get one if they are a little baby. LM was in his until around 5 months and still looked tiny in his cot when we moved him. They have just come out of close quarters which is like they like to be swaddled and then put in a smaller bed.
– Instead of swaddling we actually purchased “sleep bags” around the 6 week mark and it just made such a difference. The ease of zip and done plus LM slept so well. Babies don’t know what their arms and legs are so if they get free of a swaddle they get freaked out!
These are what we used as an example – my big one piece of advice would be to get sleep bags (you use them for a while!!)
http://www.lovetodream.com.au/online-shop/swaddleup-stage1/swaddle-up-original/love-to-swaddle-up-original/
The reality is as long as you have some of the basics you can do a trip to the shops with baby to get the rest. Maybe have money set aside for this trip. Get some bottles in but baby may not like the teet, there could be some trial and error. We started using a dummy when LM was around 4 weeks (after my Mum suggested it) and he loved it and seemed more settled. We only use it for sleepy time. It was almost his sleep cue and a real source of comfort (they’re called soothers for a reason, so my Mum says!).
Regarding flying, yes, have the baby in your arms or sling/carrier against your chest in case it’s a little bumpy. You’ll probably have to keep all your formula out for the airport staff to see it or maybe look into how that works but obviously baby food should be exempt. I’ve travelled with LM and the dummy was good for this as it helped with their ears.
I seriously wouldn’t bother with a diaper genie – they get so smelly you may want to take it straight out if your house if easy to do so. We’re on one level so I used to just chuck it in the garage and take them out at the end of the day. You will need nappy bags though (as in, they smell nicer than poop!).
Also, we used to shower with LM – more specifically Hubby did – for bonding. We used our little bath maybe once. BUT some of my friends have used it a lot. LM used to LOVE showers and fall asleep on Hubby in there as he’d get so relaxed. If you’re comfortable maybe give this a go and save your money. It’s a great way to get to know baby.
MAN, I am seriously SO excited for you right now! Can you tell?!?! 😀 sorry for the essay but I hope it helps. I would also look into joining some local mothers groups as sharing tips becomes invaluable throughout the first year.
YAY for this post!!!!! x
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THANK YOU! I love every single piece of advice you gave me here! It’s awesome!! I love the idea of sleep bags! I should pick up a few so we can give them a try right away. And your advice about flying is pretty awesome too. I think one of our next purchases will be a baby carrier because clearly we will need one right away and especially for all the flights we will be taking right away.
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You are so welcome! I was worried I went overboard!! I carried Little Man in his baby bjorn until around 7-8 months. It was well worth the investment and I loved having him so close to me – again another chance to bond. I remember being seated behind a lady once with a newborn on a flight and she kept the baby in it the whole time. When I travelled LM was 8 months and slept the whole way in my arms, for older bubs like this they give you an extra strap that goes on your belt and then goes around them. I’m not sure if the newborn lady had that too though. I’ve never had any issues with domestic or international flights with food for him but I would definitely check out USA-Canada. I found the cabin crew to be most helpful too and I’ve never had an issue from other passengers. I would recommend a dummy too for ears and soothing. In saying that I have friends who never used one and it made no difference to their baby. I think a lot of it is trial and error 🙂
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Lol! My friend matched unexpectedly with two days notice earlier this month. We went to Target and I showed her the “must haves” for a newborn, vs. what you can wait for and what you will never, ever need! A brand new baby needs formula, clothes, car seat, diapers, wipes, pacifiers. Everything else can be taken care of later. I bought everything ahead of time with my first and then either took it back or replaced it as I discovered my personal preferences (no fussy clothes, needed a lighter stroller, etc). No one knows what they are doing the first time, but you get the hang of it pretty quickly! Don’t worry!
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I am sure your friend was beyond thankful for your time and your advice! As am I!! Thanks for the must have list – we actually picked up some onesies and sleepers today at a second hand store, so once I’ve washed them we will have one thing off our must have right away list. As for diapers and wipes we will just order from amazon to meet us at the hotel/condo we will stay at in the USA (someone else suggested that and it seems like a great idea). I still need to pick up some pacifiers and the car seat will be our very last purchase since they expire and we have no idea when we will be matched and who knows maybe we’ll do this adoption thing a second time so it would be great if the stroller lasted as long as possible.
Thanks so much for your advice! I am beyond thankful!
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Holy hell. First of all you can have our bassinet unless you get the baby tomorrow. Secondly the only thing you need to buy new is a car seat. Third you can’t take a baby on a bike until their past six months and most places recommend nine months except I think in those chariots if they recline. I’ve never looked into that. Next, my $200 travel uppababy stroller broke at the San Diego zoo after about two weeks use. Is the only stroller I have ever bought new. Biggest waste of money ever. There is a really good consignment store where I live and I bet there are some where you live as well. In addition to buying online from individuals the consignment stores are good for things like swings and high chairs, etc. again, if you don’t mind a short drive you can have our swing that I bought at the consignment store today as long as your baby doesn’t come in the next few weeks. Relax. You’ve got this. Besides you now have receiving blankets. 😉
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You knew I was gonna forget stuff. You can take a baby on your lap or any car seat on an airplane. If you choose the car seat option you pay full fare for a ticket. After two you have to pay and they can either sit in the seat or in their car seat strapped in the seat. If you’re going to be driving with the infant to the airport where ever you are picking up the baby, you may want to bring your car seat with you. You can either check it in gate check or use it to see baby in his or her own seat provided you pay for that ticket.
Call or text me anytime if you have these kinds of questions. I’m no expert but I haven’t killed or seriously endangered either of our kids yet. I hope. 😉
You will get clothes. People give loads of clothes. And if you don’t mind hand-me-downs you can have whatever you want from our collection!
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You are amazing my friend! Beyond amazing in fact! You are absolutely on my texting speed dial so be prepared for my dumb questions! 🙂
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You can get most of these things in an instant in Target! The bare essentials at the very least. So it will be ok. As I know you know it will. I loved the post. It made me smile. Got yourself a nice to-do list there! Enjoy it! Shopping for kid stuff is fun!
As for car seats, I don’t know how they do it where you are but in AUS the roads authority in my state had a list of best baby seats based on safety tests. So they were all 5 star in that they met the minimum requirements but then they went off to crash test them and gave you the ratings for those results. And we just chose the best one on that list. The funny thing with car seats though is that they are different in different cars. I loved our baby/toddler seat but it never went well in Eric’s car. And we just bought the best (and most expensive HA) booster seat on the market and while it is good it goes much better in Eric’s car because of where the seatbelt strap is located than it does in mine if that makes sense. *sigh* Good luck!
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Somehow I feel like after we meet our baby at the hospital one of our very first stops might just be Target! And thankfully amazon ships everywhere in the world, so we can rely on that too! 🙂
I haven’t even started looking into car seats in Canada, but I suspect we probably have lists like that here too. Or at least I hope we do!
Thanks for your thoughts! I am beyond thankful.
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Everyone above has written all the suggestions you need but you will have everything the baby needs because you have love in your hearts.
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You are so sweet Chon! Thank you. 🙂
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I don’t have any practical advice, but I just wanted to chime in and say how excited for you I was when I read this post! Things are happening! You could have a baby any day now! That’s amazing! You have figured out so many things as you’ve gotten to this point that I have full confidence in your resourcefulness, the wonderful and informative friend network you’ve built, and the absolute certainty that your home is going to be full of all the love and nourishment your baby needs. 🙂
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Ohhhh, wait! I realized I have one piece of advice! (Hopefully not too US-centric…) When I was pregnant the first time, our friends gave us this book, and it was amazing and helped us sort through car seat brands, crib designs, and what was worth spending lots of money on and what wasn’t:
It sounds like it’s just full of suggestions to save money, and it is, but I found it really comprehensive as well in terms of discussing safety, essentials vs. non-essentials, and comparing brands along dimensions like price, quality and safety. Anyway, just my two cents! I think Canadian baby brands are similar to US baby brands, but if not, feel free to disregard!
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Thank you so much! I too am pretty excited! It’s still hard for me to believe that we are here today, after everything. Honestly two years ago, or even just a year ago, I would never have thought we’d be here today. It’s almost surreal and yet also so very exciting to know that we are getting closer to actually having our child in our arms. 🙂
And thanks for the link to the book! I have one very similar to that. It is US based too, but for the most part it works for us Canadians too.
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I thought I’d dash off a quick (or not so quick!) note since we’re right in the thick of the first days right now. Our adopted son arrived home five days ago, and this is what we’ve used or needed desperately in these first five days. Our adoption took a different turn than we had expected, and when our little one arrived, he was one month old. And he arrived with very little warning. We learned of him less than 24 hours before he came home with us. We had spent so much time planning for a newborn and had to readjust quickly to get some things that a slightly older baby might need.
• Carseat
• Something to keep the sun out of the poor boy’s eyes on the way home from the adoption agency. We rigged up a blanket over the carseat.
• Bottles – we started with six 4-ounce bottles, and we bought three more immediately. Our boy hasn’t been picky about the nipples – he’ll take what he can get. I hear that some babies are picky, so don’t stock up on one kind. We also made sure to buy extra flat bottle caps for storage and shaking.
• Bottle drying rack, if you’re not going to use the dishwasher for bottles.
• Formula – but this we didn’t have to buy. He came to us with formula (and lots of hospitals send it home with babies), and our doctor gave us more free samples. The formula we had bought for him he doesn’t like anyway, so it was kind of a waste of money for us.
• Diapers – we also received our little one with diapers, so we didn’t need to buy any for the first day or two (again, hospitals often send you home with diapers too). That was helpful because we knew exactly which size we needed to buy. Again, two packs of newborn diapers we had stored up ahead of time went to waste because he was already too big for them. We’ve started to use cloth diapers now that we’re settling in, and a friend gave us all of hers, so we haven’t bought any ourselves.
• Wipes. I just went ahead and bought a case. We’re flying through them.
• Trash cans – we got two medium sized painted metal trash cans for his nursery nook – one for trash (including diapers) and one for cloth diapers. I hate plastic containers for dealing with diapers because the smell seeps into the plastic. These two metal cans from Ikea are just the right size.
• Laundry soap – we bought a combination soap that works for both baby clothes and his cloth diapers.
• A few gender-neutral one-piece newborn 0-3 month outfits for different types of weather. We didn’t know what time of year our baby would arrive, so we had 3-5 long-sleeved and 3-5 short-sleeved, with an extra sweatshirt or two in case we needed to layer. Our little guy was already too big for newborn, so I’m glad we hadn’t spent a lot of money on tiny clothes. Now we know what size he wears and can buy accordingly. Pick outfits that get on and off easily – nothing complicated these first days when you’re exhausted. I didn’t know that outfits with buttons down the front (even just three buttons) would be such a struggle when overwhelmed by a wiggling baby.
• Little mitts or socks to cover his hands so his sharp fingernails won’t scratch up his face (and momma’s neck). Baby fingernail clippers as well.
• Start with one swaddler, if you’re going to use them. Our baby doesn’t like the swaddler too much, so again I’m glad I didn’t buy several. We got to test it out on him. The easiest swaddler we’ve used has a zipper down the front for easy access to diaper changes in the night. Love it. Consider the weather and maybe have one option for summer and one for winter.
• I enjoy having 2-4 wet bags around for when we’re on the road. When his clothes get soiled in one form or another, and he requires a change, I like having a bag to put the dirty or wet clothes in so that I don’t have to use plastic bags.
• Saline mist and tiny suctioner to clean out his nose. Yay!
• Bathtub – I love ours. I don’t have to worry about him slipping during bath time. I can focus on getting him clean.
• Space heater for warming the bathroom during bath time. His little hands get so cold, and he hates moving from the bath to the towel when the room is cold.
• 2 or more bath towels and washcloths for bath time.
• Cotton balls for face cleaning.
• Combination baby shampoo/soap. Save time. Just use one bottle.
• We use a crib at night, mostly because we didn’t have space for both a bassinet and crib. He’s done fine in the crib, and I like knowing that I can eventually transform it into a toddler bed.
• We’ve gone through three crib sheets in five days. Luckily, we have a waterproof mattress cover underneath.
• A bajillion burp cloths. We fly through those things because they’re so handy for cleaning up all kinds of messes.
• Our little guy came to us already using a pacifier, and he’s very specific about the one he likes. We had some other ones, but he spits them right out. So don’t buy too many, if you’re going to use them, until you know the type the baby likes. I did end up buying a pacifier clip to attach to his clothes when we’re out in public. That way if he drops it, it won’t fall on the floor.
• Diaper bag. So helpful for staying organized during moments of crisis in public. We ended up choosing a backpack style so that we can have our hands free. We also had this diaper bag packed and ready to go the hospital months ahead of time. We had our pediatrician’s contact information and car seat manual there so we could find it quickly when the time came.
• Waterproof mat or changing pad. We have several types, and we’ve found them all useful. We have one on top of the dresser in his nursery nook, one that can be pulled out to use on the floor, and a travel mat.
• Books. We have been reading to him each night to develop a bedtime routine. However, right now, we’re reading aloud books that mom and dad need to hear (things like What to Expect in the First Year and The Wonder Weeks). He listens and enjoys the process. I’m sure we’ll start kid books in a few weeks, but right now the only moment of silence the two of us have to educate ourselves on his needs is during this reading time, and it’s been fun to read together.
• Headphones. When he refuses to sleep anywhere else but our arms, it’s been helpful to be able to plug in and listen to music or something in the hours he’s snuggled up with us. I don’t want to disturb him with too much noise, so the headphones have worked out really well for me.
• Kleenex. Sometimes I feel like I’m crying as much as the baby. ☺ This is an emotional and complicated time. So much joy and so much loss at the same time.
• Nightlights. We put them up in the nursery nook and the bathroom to keep from stumbling around ourselves. A small lamp to turn on for nighttime diaper changes that won’t be blinding for the baby is also super helpful.
• Camera, of course.
• Food for mom and dad. Oh, how I wish that I had stocked our freezer with food before this week. We had less than 24 hours notice before he arrived, so we’ve been starving! Stock up, plan to have food delivered, or talk you friends into starting a meal train for you (mealtrain.com).
Things we have that we haven’t really used at this point:
• Baby carrier/wrap. He much prefers just to be held in our arms right now, and I’m happy to do that while he learns who we are and we have some good bonding time.
• Baby swing. Our little guy just detests the swing at this point. Maybe when he’s older?
• Diaper creams and powders and such. We haven’t had any real issues at this point, but that might just be our luck of the draw.
• Blankets. Because our little guy arrived in the summer, we have way too many blankets. He’ll use them in the winter, but we didn’t need to have five of them ready to go in the very beginning.
• Baby toys – our little boy is just enthralled with the window blinds or mom and dad’s face, and besides, he still sleeps a lot. The toys he has waiting for him can wait a little longer.
• Stroller. He’s still much too little for our stroller, unless we purchase an infant insert. It hasn’t been worth it yet. We carried him around the yard (we’re getting pretty strong arms).
• Closet hangers. We’ve got a lot of empty hangers right now. Maybe we’ll need them someday, but not this week.
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First, congratulations!! I am delighted to hear that your adoption has happened!! I am so thrilled for you.
Second, THANK YOU! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to share all of this with me. And thank you so much for all of your suggestions about what you need right away and hints about what you have not used yet. I really appreciate knowing what you haven’t needed yet.
I also love hearing what you wish you had for mommy and daddy – a stocked freezer sounds like a brilliant idea!
Thank you again. Wishing you the absolute best!
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Don’t panic. Please don’t. You wouldn’t need everything simultaneously 🙂
Now, to your list.
My experience is 5 years old, but still. I will go in your order 🙂
The diaper genie: yes, and try to get one that uses regular garbage bags, this is cheaper than getting special bags.
Baby wipes: do you guys have Costco? Their Tensel baby wipes are the best we tried. What we did was – getting small packages of every brand on a market and seeing how the baby’s skin and me liked it. We did the same with diapers, btw, unless you decide to use cloth – since different brands seem to work differently for different babies. Same for formula, bottles, and pacifiers; you might need to try few different options.
Receiving blankets: the most useless thing ever. They are cute, true, but I couldn’t for the life of me to figure out what are they good for – they are just too small. What I needed and used a lot were swaddling blankets, because they are generously sized. The muslin ones by Aden & Anais are considered the best, but I noticed there are some cheaper knock offs out there.
As for flying: yes, the baby doesn’t need to be in her/his seat until 2 years old. You can either hold her/him, or some airlines offer cots. You can check your carseat/stroller free at the gate.
Stroller: we loved Baby Jogger City Mini. It reclines, and you can get a special adapter to put a carseat over it. Otherwise, you can get Snap’N’Go to mount a carseat on. Uppababies are cool too, half of my friends used it.
Bath: Primo Eurotube will be good for a while.
A bouncer and some chimes to go with it is a good thing!
As for carrier, I used BabyBiorn for few first months and then Ergo, Ergo has an infant insert too.
Secondhand is good! Do you have a buy/sell/trade group for parents in your area?
Also, I never ever used soap, and never ever used snot sucker thingy, and I still consider myself a decent enough mom… but it’s different for everyone 🙂
Good luck!
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Thank you so much!! I love Costco so I’ll absolutely check out their wipes. And we bought a used snap and go so we’ll use that for a stroller right away before we graduate to something a bit bigger as our child grows. Thanks for your thoughts on carriers too. I’m leaning towards the Ergo carrier, but I think we probably need to try them out before we commit to anything. But I know we want one for the flight home, so it’s a must have before baby comes I think.
And took your advice on second hand and found a second hand store today. We even bought a bunch of onesies and sleepers, so we have a few things now.
Thanks again for all of this!
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This is wonderful, you’re getting so much done!
My friend was practicing her Ergo/infant insert combo using her cat instead of an infant! I can’t recommend this in a good conscience though… Maybe a stuffed toy instead 🙂 I loved my Ergo a lot; used it for almost 3 years…
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I don’t think we can practice with our dog in a carrier – she’s 90lbs it just wont work. hahaha! But I love that your friend is substituting her cat for baby! A little more lifelike then a stuffed toy. 🙂
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Oh and ours flat out refused sleep in a bassinet, so we got a SnuggleNest to put on our bed, which was good until the baby started to turn.
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Oh and as for diapering – we got lots of disposable Chux pads, so I didn’t have to wash a changing mat cover twice every day 🙂
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Thanks so much for sharing about both the snugglenest and disposable chux pads!
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My counselor told me when I was having a freak out moment that if people waited to be ready for parenting, no one would ever have kids. I think it’s true. 🙂 I think that in the past month, I’ve learned that even if you research things to death, there is a lot of trial and error that you learn with your child and about what products work for him/her. FYI – You shouldn’t buy a used car seat ever. We do have a bassinet and I’ve read that it is safer to have a baby in your room when they’re little to reduce instances of S.I.D.S. I’m not sure how true that is. As for me, I tried not to read tooooo many books so I didn’t get overwhelmed by anxiety. Wishing you all the very best always! I’d be happy to tell you anything else you want to know (that I may know about). Hugs!
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Thank you for your ideas and thoughts.
I think your counsellor is a wise women/man! I suspect no-one is ever truly ready for their first child! And I love hearing that you are learning a lot through trial and error, I suspect we will do the same thing.
As for buying used, I will not buy the crib or car seat used. And we already have the crib, so it’s just the car seat that we need to buy now. Otherwise I’m trying to find good used deals whenever I can.
Wishing you the best as well!! 🙂
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I think it is impossible not to learn from trial and error since each child is different. 🙂
My opinion on used things is that it saves a TON of money. We have gotten quite a bit of hand me downs from my sister-in-law and a friend who had a baby recently. It has helped a lot. I’m wishing you all the best on finding good deals!!!
Have a great weekend!
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Wishing you a happy weekend as well! 🙂
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Oh this post made me laugh – I remember this moment of total panic well 🙂 I’m with Tanya in that they need next to nothing in the beginning and Amazon Prime will resolve every other panic. E was in long-sleeved, long-legged onesies until she was 6 months old because she puked on everything 5 times a day and the hell was I having her do that over co-ordinated mini overall outfits! A Moby wrap is perfect for travelling with: you can’t have them in it during take-off and landing but the minute the seat belt signs switch off you can tuck them back and away from germy fellow passengers and they can doze off safe with the smell of mummy 😉 Beware of what flying does to baby’s bowels though – the cabin pressure can create Vesuvian poos so a double diaper and a ton of spare clothes will help. The biggest thing I didn’t allow for is that you just don’t know who you’re getting: we knew E would be big from the scans but we didn’t know she’d be a fat little butter-ball who leaked out of the skinny-bummed diapers we’d bought half a dozen boxes of and we’d end up using the cheapest supermarket ones because they were the right shape for her. We had no idea she’d be so mobile that she’d get out of most tubs (we ended up with two inches of water in our own tub – works fine), or that she’d be so picky we’d get through 10 brands of soother until we conceded she was never taking one. Second-hand is GREAT (only mattresses are a bad thing I think, carrying a risk of SIDS), just check for any product recalls and make sure you can download instructions online. Ikea cribs are brilliant: at the highest setting E was level with the side of our bed so it was effectively a co-sleeper but she had her own safe little space away from her delirious-with-sleep-deprivation mum, then we lowered it as she got more mobile and then it turned into a toddler bed that we have only just dismantled. Ikea is fantastic for kids’ stuff full stop actually. Check out Harvey Karp for a heaven-sent method of soothing a fussy newborn (that probably our great grandmas knew all about but then some doctor insisted we “evolve”).
You are going to do an amazing job and you are going to be two-steps behind all the time because that’s what being a mum involves. xoxoxo
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Thank you so much for your ideas! And really, thank you so much for the heads up on flying and baby bowls! Honestly, so happy to know that in advance of the plane ride! We will absolutely get a baby carrier/warp for the plane – it seems to be everyone’s suggestion for the flight.
As for buying used, i plan to buy a much as possible used except the crib and car seat. I think as long as it can be cleaned then gently used will work for us.
And Ikea everything is good to know! Our crib is ikea, but I have not looked at anything else they sell, so I’ll have to check that out next time I’m there.
Oh, and thanks for the suggestion to check out Harvey Karp. Really, just thank you for everything!
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Ok here’s my suggestions…
Diapers – lots of little local stores do cloth diapering intro nights. Check one of them out. They’ll have all sorts of the different styles/brands etc there. It’s much easier than trying to navigate that on your own. It’ll give you a starting point for your research and you’ll figure what questions you might want to ask just by handling.
Wipes – yep. Also LOTS of baby face cloths. Lots. They sprout legs and run away. You cannot have enough baby face cloths. Also, these can double as wipes thus buying you time to decide on those. lol
Naked babies are fine. Wrap them up in blankets, towels, whatever. lol But yes… treat yourself to a few cute onesies. Clothes might be something to stock up on since it is hard to know what sizes you’ll need. Blankets, on the other hand, stock up! Don’t forget the dollar store for receiving blankets. From time to time you’ll find high quality ones. 🙂 Second hand stores too. You’ll be washing them anyway.
Formula. Talk to your dr. Have you chosen a pediatrician or sticking with your family dr? If you have chosen a ped talk with them ALSO. This might sound wonky, but check in with your local LLL group. They’ll likely have compassionate suggestions of formulas used by moms who haven’t been able to breastfeed. I’d also recommend having at least one non-dairy non-soy option available just in case you draw the jackpot on sensitivities. For this homemade ones aren’t particularly difficult though, but just something to think about when you’re perusing aisles & reading labels.
Bottles. Your kid will have gas. Try not to put a whole lot of stock into magical claims. Go with what feels good in your hand, fits in your cupholders (car, stroller, purse). You’ll be spending a lot of time holding this and often when you aren’t at your most alert so make sure they’re easy and comfy to hold with little effort. Check out the Tommy Tippee, Avent, and Dr Brown wide neck. Sure you could go glass too. It’s oh so lovely smashed in a diaper bag when you’re in a rush to get somewhere. 😉
Soothers are fine. Especially for wee ones. You’ll get all sorts of ridiculous advice about these. Go with your gut. I like the Philips Avent ones because their awkward shape means they are less likely to get buried in between couch cushions and car seat cracks. lol
Flying. You can hold a baby under 2 on your lap in a plane. I hope you plan to have a carrier if you do because a long plane right holding said infant will try your sanity. If you buy a separate seat for your wee one you can use a car seat. Check with the airline you plan to fly about their restrictions. Radian makes a worthy one with a nifty over the shoulder carrying case AND a fun little trolly for in the airport.
Car seats. Once you’ve narrowed down to the ones you like on the decent safety record, I’d suggest a few things. Go play with them at the stores. Can you carry it around? Is it lightweight, but super awkward to carry? (Speaking of the infant seats rather than the birth to booster seats although there’s a few of those to seriously consider!) Can you properly buckle it with one hand while containing a squirmy unhappy wee one? ie is the harness simple to use? Also, check reviews on the fit for the vehicles in your driveway as well as the vehicles in the driveway of the people you spend the most time with because they are likely to be your emergency people. If they occasionally do the driving now you’ll want the flexibility for them to do driving later AND for them to be able to look after your kids. Just another little bit of peace of mind for junior’s first overnight away from you while you and DH go on date night! lol Once you buy it find a local car seat tech and get them to teach you how to install it properly in each of those vehicles.
Strollers. Get 2. One will inevitably be a mess of something and you’ll have a back up. Don’t get 2 of the same though! One that is highly durable mountain goat-like. I love the 3 wheel joggers with the super rugged wheels. It does not have to be top quality! Find the one you love and then look for the alternate brand that sells the same one for half the price. I do not recommend a 4 wheeled stroller for your main one. Also, something super lightweight that folds up ultra small. I like the Mackenzies for this when they’re teeny, but a $40 umbrella stroller is fine once they can sit on their own. I recommend light colours.
Car seat never buy used. Blankets, clothing absolutely used. Strollers as long as they’re in good condition buy used – you can likely buy a second hand stroller cover at the second hand stores if you watch for them.
Bassinet. They’re alternately called laundry baskets. LOL Seriously though they are easy to carry, just the right size, and lightweight.
Books. There’s a few good out there, but I’d do better to answer your question of “what do I believe?” You believe your gut. No book can ever tell you about YOUR child and your relationship with your child. They’re great for guidance, but go with your gut.
Bathing. No soap necessary for first month or 2. Heck bathing once a week is more than enough during that time. A quick wipe down is plenty. Sinks are great. Put a towel in for cushioning and you’re good to go. Also, garden kneeling pads for you. An inch of water in the tub. Lay baby in the tub. For later the trusty rusty laundry basket with a bath sheet for cushioning once baby can sit up. This will last you quite a long while.Seeing a theme? Laundry baskets are awesome. lol Don’t waste money on a baby bath thing. They only fit it for 2-3 months during which you might use it half a dozen times.
Get a snot sucker. lol Gross, but handy.
For introductions, I’d recommend DH come in with the baby AFTER you have had a moment with puppy. This way pup can smell you which will smell like baby and all these new smells won’t also be associated with Mommy having a new puppy. Perhaps you could discuss puppies with Sadie? lol Sounds silly, but it can work! I’ve seen it work! lol
Bouncy chairs are handy, but not critical. Save that for a fun & frivolous purchase when you’re needing a break from researching the needs.
Carriers. See my suggestion about cloth diapering. Get yourself to a little local store. They won’t likely have a similar workshop for carriers, but they’ll have lots of options to try on and see what you might enjoy most. I’m partial to the ring slings, but I know others who can’t even sort them out. Go play with them.
Most of all… don’t forget to have fun with this! 😀
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You might know everything there is to know about baby care! Thank you so much for sharing all of this with me! There is so much here that I need to digest,
I like the idea of checking out carriers and cloth diapering at information sessions – it sounds like a brilliant way to get to know all the various options and decide which one is right for us!
I also love your strategy for introducing baby to our dog. Honestly, I think she’ll be fine, but I firmly believe that you can never trust a dog since they are animals. So we have to do everything right and help them become friends. This is probably my biggest worry, but I also think we will make it work with lots of caution and care.
I have no doubt I will be referring to this comment many times in the future. Thank you again!
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I don’t have any advice for these things, but I’m sure the other ladies will. Good luck finding everything you want and need!
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Thanks Amy! I have gone through every single comment tonight again and I am just thrilled with all the great advice. 🙂
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Friend, welcome to pre-parenthood. There will be thousands of things to read. Thousands of products to try. Hours of car seat shopping, and bottle looking, and safety prep! It all happens so fast. And with a pregnancy, you have 40 weeks (give or take) to sort these things out, and then baby comes and your like, “OH SHIT!!! I wasn’t ready!!!” But you are, because really, the only thing you need is love, and you guys have that. That other stuff…ehhh!!! Who needs it! The neanderthals didn’t (let’s not get all crazy about thier life span! There were freaking birds that could eat you back then!) The truth is, all that stuff will fall into place. I will say though, you are going to need a car seat pretty much right away, but for the first month or so with baby, you barely leave the house, so cuddle your kiddo when s/he comes, pout your feet up with Mr. MPB and share time together (and just order a ton of crap from Amazon) and hope for the best! It’s all we parents can really do any way!
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Thanks so much for all of this!! Mr. MPB loves to state that people have been having children for more then centuries so we should be able to manage – it sounds like you and him are on the same page. 🙂
And I love your approach to amazon! Exactly what we plan to do, especially because we will be living in a hotel possibly without a car for the first few weeks!
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Never fear it will all fall into place. A woman I work with and her husband and been on the list for 9 years (yes you know how public adoption works here……) They had really out of sight out of mind and never dreamt.. One Tuesday afternoon she got a call they had been matched. They were to pick up their new son when he was released from hospital at 11 am the next morning. They had 19 hours to get ready! They had nothing and a 3 hour drive to go and get him. They left immediately for the city. Spent the night, picked up a car seat, diaper bag and some diapers, bottles and a handful of clothing. Her parents went and had a crib set up when they got home. All you need is love!
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What a beautiful story!! Thank you so much for sharing and for reminding me that all you need is love! The rest will fall into place, just as it did for your colleague!
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By the way….no matter how ready you are…you’re not ready! Ha Ha Ha. So, just roll with it! You’ll learn along the way!
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