Jumping Through Another Hoop (AKA Adopting)
I’ve done my fair share of complaining about the adoption process:
- Dealing less then intelligent requirements has driven me crazy on more than one occasion.
- The process of managing the international process with what feels like ever changing rules.
- Managing a process that simply makes no sense to me.
- Preparing a nursery before we were ready.
But to be fair, I’ve also spent some time talking about the exciting and happy stuff too:
- The fact that we are so close to be officially waiting.
- How we are celebrating adoption milestones.
- Embracing that adoption is our choice.
- Mr. MPB nesting.
But today, I want to share one of the strangest feelings things we have done.
We spent a day this weekend taking photos of ourselves at home, doing typical at home things. Evidently, we did not have enough/any of us around our house.
Our collection of photographs now includes:
- Mr. MPB tending to his plants.
- Me making breakfast.
- Mr. MPB making coffee in the morning.
- Me watering the garden.
- Mr. MPB barbequing supper.
- Me with my cruiser bike.
- Mr. MPB enjoying a coffee in our living room.
- Me reading in my favourite chair.
Now, these are all things we legitimately do, which is very important to us as we feel that our adoption profile album must reflect us, so nothing was fake. But, somehow, the entire photography session felt incredibly fake and staged.
By fake, I mean we took them all in the same day, so we had to include outfit changes so they appear more spontaneous. We even went so far as to switch out coffee cups so that they looked more natural, as our mugs are all random pottery mugs that we pick up on our travels. And seriously, who has a giant smile on their face when they are gardening or whipping eggs? Well, we do, evidently! We had giant smiles plastered on our faces for each photo, as you do for album photos, but I have never actually whipped eggs with a giant smile on my face before. Usually, I’m neither smiling or frowning, I just am. Or I’m singing out of tune and dancing around a bit. Instead, in these photos I am smiling from ear to ear and nicely staring into the camera.
Anyways, truth be told, we had a tonne of fun putting together the photos. In order to take them all in one day, we spent our time simply doing some of our favourite things, and really who can complain when they get to spend a few hours doing things you love to do? We started the day with a great breakfast, played in our back yard and our neighbourhood. I could have done without the outfit changes, but honestly, it just meant that we had a great weekend together doing things we loved!
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My Perfect Breakdown 
Very interesting requirement. I guess it helps the birth mothers get a feel for who you are? I’m glad you had fun putting them together, even though you had to change your outfit(s)!
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That’s exactly it, I think! I think they also want to see what our house is like and what we do on a more daily basis. Of course, outfit changes just made it weird! 🙂
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Was this all for your book that you’re putting together? Or just another random requirement? I would feel completely awkward doing that, and probably be laughing in every picture because I would feel silly lol! Sounds like you guys had fun and it all worked out though!
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Yup, it was for our book that the birth mother will use to pick the adoptive family.
It was fake and silly on so many levels, but at least we had some fun while we were doing it. 🙂
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Haha I love that you had to do outfit changes and everything. I agree, taking pictures smiling while you’re doing that stuff feels kind of fake, but there’s no way to avoid it I guess. I keep telling Tim that we need to start taking pictures of all of that now, little by little, but he feels no sense of urgency and also the one with the camera skills. So I’m sure we will be doing the day-long photo fest like you guys!
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Oh, you should absolutely start taking photos now!! Even if you don’t end up adopting you will have great memories for your family! The photos we didn’t stage just look so much more natural to me, so I’d absolutely just start keeping a camera handy for spontaneous fun moments.
Also, one of our biggest problems is that I’m always behind the camera so we had very few photos of me to use, I suspect this might be a similar problem for Tim, so you might want to also start getting a few of him too! 🙂
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We had to do something similar to prove our relationship for my wife’s immigration application, and though it wasn’t all on one day, it felt totally fake and like we were pretending to be a couple, and pretending do all of the things we were actually doing (family visits, hikes, meals out, etc.). It is great to look back and see all those photos, though, especially knowing that they sort of culminated in her relocating to Canada.
Changing clothes and coffee cups, that’s a whole other level! But awesome that you had fun during the photo shoot, and that you’re one step further along in the sometimes-absurd journey toward adoption!
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It’s funny the things they make us do to prove ourselves in the eyes of whomever is approving us – governments or adoption agencies! Like you, I hope to be able to look back and enjoy the photos. 🙂
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This sounds kind of bizarre but also fun. Would have loved to see you guys throughout the day!
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Yes, bizarre but fun. 🙂
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That sounds like such a bizarre situation although I can imagine that a lot of fun was had and I’m sure you got some great photos!
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Even thought it was slightly bizarre, we did have a lot of fun too. And I’m just happy we have a few more photos for our designer to work with! 🙂
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That sounds like such a fun and random day. While it may have felt awkward at the time I bet the photos turned out great. 🙂
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It was a fun day, we did all the things we enjoy doing around the house. Which of course means the things we don’t enjoy like mowing the lawn didn’t happen this weekend. 🙂
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I’m glad you both had fun doing it. I think it’s probably “normal” to do because my friends had to do something similar. Thinking of you! 🙂
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Thanks so much! I think it is normal to do, just something we didn’t think about actually doing until our graphic designer suggested we needed to. At least it made us do a bunch of things we enjoy doing, so we got to have fun while we were taking the photos. 🙂
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Sounds like kind of a fun (but awkward) hoop to jump through. I’m sure you guys look adorable doing your activities, and hope that your profile is a hit with all the birth moms!
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Awe, thanks my friend! I do hope that at the end of the day our profile book lands in the hands of our ideal birth mom! And hopefully it happens soon! 🙂
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Hilarious. That’s so campy! And do the proverbial “they” require that you decorate your home with these campy photos or just send them in for your adoption album presumably to be reviewed by prospective birth moms/moms and dads? Life can be so surreal.
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Totally campy! What a great word to describe it! Just in the album, thankfully!! 🙂
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Phew. Although it would have been fun to take one of your staged photos with one of the other staged shots in the background. And then put that photo in a frame amidst your actual family photos, whether you have those on the wall or a mantle or wherever. Then you could take a photo of you two with new babe in front of that photo. I’d want a copy of that!!
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I so do not have that kind of energy! But it would be great. 🙂
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P.S. If the LP and I had to do this I would have insisted we have a lot of cocktails first so the smiles weren’t fake. I cannot fake smiling and the LP looks like he has gas when he tries to fake a smile (think Mr. Bean). Glad you guys could pull it off without liquor. And if you couldn’t, it’s all good and I don’t think that is any reflection of your good intentions and longing for a child to raise. 😉
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We didn’t even think to start drinking at 8am, that would have been so much more fun!! 🙂
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Perfect time for mimosas! (Or Caesars if you’re more a savoury sort like me ;-))
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When i read your post I couldn’t help but agree. We just got notified Saturday that we may have to complete additional paper work because they are making some changes in our state 😦 that is not what I wanted to hear. We had to finish our book early so that we could have everything turned it to our case worker and it was the most stressful thing for me thus far. But we are so close to waiting so I can’t complain. We have one home study left and then we will be officially waiting once all the paper work is complete. I will be praying for you during this process.
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You had to do your book when you submit all your paperwork? Our book is the last stage in the process. It’s so confusing/funny/annoying/frustrating/odd how every agency has different processes!
I hope you don’t have to do any more paperwork. I’m glad you too are sooo close to be officially waiting!! 🙂
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We had to turn our book in at the last class that we took. We did the weekend session so it was 4 weeks long and our last one was this past Saturday. I know its crazy how each agency requires and request so many different things. And we had to have the room ready since we had our first preliminary inspection. I hope we don’t have any more paper work either Lol. Thank you : ) How much longer did they tell you ?
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I’m actually spending my day filling out more unexpected paperwork today!! Another questionnaire that we’ve now filled out similar versions of about 4 or 5 times over the last 6 months. It never seems to end. 🙂
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Oh no. Hopefully this will be the last time that you will have to fill it out. We had something similar about a week ago they decided to come up with a newer version of the paper.
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That’s hysterical. Honestly, I can’t think of one picture of myself or Mr. O where we’re “around the house.” On a hike? On vacation? Out to dinner? Sure. But sitting on the couch reading? Not so much.
At least you had an excellent excuse for costume changes! You’re like Katy Perry or Cher! (Yes, Cher. I went there.)
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Oh Cher, what fun! 🙂
It really was hysterical and funny all at the same time! If nothing else, at least we had a good laugh while taking all the photos.
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I love your attitude toward the photography session!! You have given me hope that we can make it a fun experience too. Making the book is one of the things I most worried about – it just feels like so much pressure.
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You can totally make it fun!! We were required to hire a graphic designer and honestly it’s made the entire experience much less stressful. Is that something you might consider? All we have to worry about now is that we like the final product. 🙂
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Yes – would definitely consider that option. Will need to do some research for someone in our area. I feel like it would be much less stressful!
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This made me giggle! I hope that you two really enjoyed the real but staged and posed photos. I like that you found it odd and fun. I wouldn’t have ever imagined that this is something that would need to be included, but I guess they want a peek into your real lives 🙂 XO
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We definitely found it odd, but still had lots of fun! But, to be fair, it’s hard not to have fun when you are doing your favourite things. 🙂
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How funny! Love the fact you had to do outfit changes… the things you have to do!! X
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The outfit changes were the funniest part, because that (and the giant smiles) are what made it different then a normal weekend at home. 🙂
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