I Want My Freedom Back

  Posted on May 6, 2015 By

 35 Comments

So on Friday we decided to take an impromptu day in the mountains – to play with our dog and generally recharge. Instead, moments before we were hitting the road, I discovered that our basement was home to inches of unexpected and unwanted water. Not my idea of fun!

20150503 - 100HappyDays_Day299We have now had at least one sort of work crew in our house every single day. Friday we had people in our house for over 12 hours as they worked to locate and stop the source of the water and another set of people worked to remove the water and start the drying process. As I sit here typing right now we have a disaster recovery team in our basement measuring the moisture left in our walls and floor. We also have a few plumbers in our house replacing our hot water tank and re-doing/improving a bunch of water line connections. Our house is now a very busy place.

While I am annoyed that we have construction crews in my house daily, loud industrial fans running 24/7, and not being in control of the major decisions (insurance is), I am also annoyed because my space is quite literally gone. Our home gym, which has been a 20150111 - 100HappyDays_Day184significant part of my efforts to reclaim my life, is now completely out of service. I’m guessing it will be a few months before we have the space back together in a usable manner. I keep reminding myself that at least it’s spring/summer so we can focus on outdoor cardio for the time being. My exercise does not have to stop, it’s just changing for the time being.

But even more important than the loss of our home gym, I am most bothered that the constant flow of people in and out of our house means that my personal freedom within my own home has been compromised.

No matter the situation, our house has always been our space. Basically, my house is my space to do whatever I want without any care in the world. Instead, now, I get to deal with people constantly in my space.

Once upon a time I thought I was an extrovert simply because I’m incredibly talkative and social. I can get alone with along anyone, and I can strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger without blinking an eye. In fact, I can garner the attention of an entire room if I must and I am often paid to do just that. I actually make a living based on being incredibly social and being great with people.

But in my older and wiser years I’ve begun to understand that I actually have a lot more introvert characteristics in that while I like to talk I truly need my down time. I need me time to be able to recharge and move forward in life.

So, 5 days into a flooded basement with rotating construction crews, I’m really struggling with my house being invaded.

My safe space, the space where I recharge, is now gone.  This only adds to my desire to run away and my frustration that we cannot due to our tight finances thanks to an overly expensive international adoption.

I’ve discovered that I’m struggling to focus on writing or getting any work accomplished because I don’t have the quiet and peace that I’ve become accustomed to. With the rush that is circling around me, I don’t feel that I’m able to connect with my emotions and my inner thoughts – I’m starting to feel disconnected from myself. And in the last year I’ve really come to love my time to ponder and challenge my ways of thinking. Until now I’m not sure that I realized just how important this freedom to contemplate has been to my well-being.

Needless to say, I’m struggling. And, while I know it could have been worse, I’m still not thrilled about the entire situation. Yes the damage is most definitely not desirable, but more than anything I just don’t like having my space taken away from me.

20150506 - I Want My Freedom BackI will be a happy camper when the industrial fans are turned off and my permanent headache goes away. I’ll be extra happy when we are not juggling daily visits from various construction crews and I get my space and freedom back. And I will be a very happy camper once everything is sorted with insurance and my basement turns back into the nice space it once was!

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 Category: Introspection      Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

35 Comments on “I Want My Freedom Back”

  1. I would be so frustrated, too! I need my space and my quiet time every day. We’ve gone through periods where we have people in our house working on whatever project, and I never felt comfortable talking to them…I was always torn between talking to them to make them feel comfortable, and worrying about getting in their way. I hope it doesn’t truly take months for them to get everything sorted out and fixed for you!! Good luck getting through this stress!

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    • We’ve almost always done our own work in our house, so having crews constantly is a new experience for me. I have no problem talking with them, I just hate that I cannot help and that they will not answer questions straight with me – they work for insurance not us. And it infuriates me because I own this home and I live here daily. Anyways, now I’m just complaining – but like you, I so hope they figure this out ASAP!! Or at least get out of my house for longer then 24 horus, that would be awesome too!

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  2. I’m the same way. Everyone thinks I’m super extrovert but they don’t realize I spent a ton of time alone- especially now that I work from home! I hope you get some answers from insurance sooner rather than later. And hey – if you really want a road trip, you are welcome to come stay here for free! My husband is farming on weekends now so I’m usually solo.

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    • Loosing my freedom in my own home this last few days has really made it clear to me just how important my time is – I knew over the last year I had really grown to love my time and space, but I had no idea just how much!
      And thanks for the lovely offer! If they don’t turn off the industrial fans soon, I might just turn up at your door! 🙂

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  3. I also need a lot of me time. People seem shocked that a day alone is something i love and that it relaxes and recharges me. My work is very social, and I really enjoy coming home my peaceful house. It must be so disorienting to have your space invaded like this. I certainly hope that they can fix things quickly so that you can have your space back.

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  4. As a fellow introvert, I understand this SO completely. The noise and the people running in and out is any introvert’s nightmare. I am cringing inwardly just thinking about it for you.

    Just remind yourself that this is temporary. Can you take sanctuary in your bedroom and try to close the door and get away from it all for an hour or two? This too shall pass.

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    • I am definitely trying to hide from everything when I can, but today it is my responsibility to be home all day as our house is home to 4 different crews today – furnace replacement, insurance, and 2 separate disaster recovery crews! So, it’s going to be busy and I am just hoping that they finally turn off the horrible fans that seem to make my brain want to implode! 5 days straight of industrial fans that vibrate through our entire house is about to push me over the edge!
      I finally shipped the dog off to doggy daycare today, I think she needed a break too!

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  5. Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear this. In the past year, my husband and I have dealt with so much water damage and so many plumbing problems we have really seriously questioned who in the world thought indoor plumbing was a good idea in the first place!!! I know exactly how you’re feeling with the crews and the annoyance of trying to determine what insurance will/won’t cover with regard to water damage. It’s a maze. Perhaps your basement is more usable space than ours, but be thankful it’s *just* the basement. Last April, my husband and I spent 2 months walking around on concrete floors while crews worked on our living room, bathroom, and two bedrooms in the old condo. The damage affected pretty much our entire 1,200 sq. foot condo, only missing the kitchen. Hoping this nightmare ends quickly for you guys!! :/

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    • I am so sorry that you understand this!! I had no idea how horrible a “minor” basement flood would be. I guess in the world of insurance ours is considered “minor” (yet, they are replacing just about everything so I don’t know how it can be considered minor)! My new motto with our basement is “it could have been worse”, and your experience just reminds me of that!
      We had an apartment flood years ago and had a nightmare of a time back then, but at least we learned to keep most stuff off the ground or in Tupperware, so the damage to our “stuff” was minimal.

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  6. Home is a sanctuary. The place you can truly be 100% you. I’d struggle with people in and out all the time too. I think it’s a territorial need! I hope you get your space back soon x

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    • Thank you so much Faye for understanding. Today we had 6 separate crews in our house, but tomorrow we only have 1 scheduled and I think we will get the whole weekend to ourselves now that the crises stage has passed. I’m excited! 🙂

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  8. I love the bit about thinking you’re an extrovert but you’re really not – I can relate!

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    • It’s amazing what a bit of self-reflection has taught me about myself! In so many ways being able to step back from work has been such a valuable life lesson for me, and honestly I think I need to start realizing and appreciating a bit just how fortunate I am to be able to have this time!

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  9. How frustrating! It would drive me crazy not to have the alone time I needed too. I hope things go by quickly. I know it’s not exactly what you need, but would you be able to retreat to the library or somewhere quiet and more alone sometimes? Maybe not because you have to be home when people are there. I don’t know. Just a thought. Wishing you all the very best and that this all ends soon! ❤

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    • Thanks so much for your hope! Honestly, I thought today was going to be our first crew free day. I was sadly wrong, we have more people in our basement again today! Arg! Instead, we are now at 7 straight days of having crews.
      But, the good news is that I really do think we will have the weekend to ourselves, so that will be a nice change!
      Oh, and because of our dog we refuse to have people in our house without one of us at home. But, at least we are getting closer to having a few days of quiet time. 🙂

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  10. I hear you. If you need a simple but effective fitness session, I can’t recommend the couch potato to 5k podcasts from itunes highly enough. They’re progressive and get you out of the house..and it’s like running with your own personal trainer..sending love and SUN! xxx

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  12. I’m sorry this is so grating and takes time to resolve. Yuck! I have been told I’m outgoing too but at heart I’m a closet misanthrope and total recluse too. 😉

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    • Thanks so much!! I’m optimistic that today will be our first day without any crews in our house! Yesterday was supposed to be that day, but after we discovered a gas leak thanks to poor quality installation of our new furnace, it turned into a very busy house once again. I’m holding out hope that today will be more peaceful. 🙂

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