Eighteen
Today it has been 18 years.
18 years since I saw my sister’s smile.
18 years since I heard my mother’s laugh.
.
18 years ago today my childhood came to a sudden halt, and as a young teenager I grew up in seconds.
Today, I miss the innocence of my naïve youth.
.
Today it has been 18 years.
18 years since I sought my older sister’s advice.
18 years since I felt my mother’s warm embrace.
.
It has been 18 years since my life crashed down around me.
Today I still face random triggers that bring me to my knees begging for another moment with them, and a different ending to their stories.
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Today it has been 18 years.
18 years since I danced with my sister.
18 years since I sang out of tune with my mother.
.
In these 18 years I have learned to forgive the seemingly unforgivable.
Today, I hold no ill will towards someone who made a simple mistake that held catastrophic results.
.
Today it has been 18 years.
18 years since I made friendship bracelets with my sister.
18 years since I baked cinnamon buns with my mother.
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In these 18 years I have learned to live without two of the most important people in my life.
I have learned to survive with the most immense grief imaginable.
.
Today it has been 18 years.
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My Perfect Breakdown 
I’m so sorry, I hope you find the strength to get through today okay. Thinking of you *hugs*
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Thanks Amy. As with most years, I find the anticipation of the anniversary harder then the actual anniversary.
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Beautiful memories. Anniversaries are so hard. I hope you’re feeling peaceful as you remember them today.
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Thank you so much my friend, so far today has been rather peaceful. I am so thankful that I have so many beautiful memories of life with them.
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Hugs.. I am soo sorry. I hope you find the strength to pull through okay.
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Thank you so much my friend.
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Thinking of you today.
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Thank you.
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*huge hugs*
Anniversaries are so so hard. Take care of yourself today.
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Thank you so much Angela. You are right, anniversaries are so hard, yet we always find a way to get through them.
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That we do. We often forget to be kind to ourselves through it though. So remember that ❤
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You are so right, thank you for the reminder.
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Thinking of you today. Thanks for sharing the anniversary. Hugs!
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Thank you so much my friend.
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Sending you lots of love and big hugs! I can’t imagine the pain and hurt you have gone through but I love how you continue to share your memories with them. The memories are so important after our loved ones are gone!
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Thank you so much. You are right, our memories are so important, they are really what keeps us connected to those who are gone, and what keeps them “alive” in a way. I am so thankful that I was old enough to have these fond memories.
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I don’t have words other than I am truly sorry.
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Thank you so much.
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I’ll be thinking of you todat
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Thank you so much my friend.
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I am so sorry. Praying for you today.
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Thank you Connieann.
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I’m at a loss for words. I am so sorry. I’ll be sending lots of love your way today.
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Thank you so much! Today will be hard, but I will survive, just as I have every other year.
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18 years sounds like an eternity, and I’m sure it has felt like longer. Sending you love today.
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Thank you Courtney. It’s funny some days it does feel like a lot longer – like an entire lifetime without them. And other days, it feels like I just lost them yesterday. It’s funny how grief works.
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This is so beautiful. Thinking of you today. Hugs ❤
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Thank you Mrs.D. I am truly grateful for the memories I have and the love I experienced for and with them as a child.
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Anniversaries like this are so hard. Sending you strength today. What you wrote is so beautiful.
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Thank you so much my friend. Anniversaries are hard, and yet, I know I’ll get through it just as I have every other year.
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I’m sending you so much love today.
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Thank you so much! I am always thankful for your love. I hope you are doing well today.
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Thinking of you today.
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Thank you so much Molly.
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18 years too many. My heart is with you.
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You are so right, 18 years is way to many! Some days it is hard to believe that it has actually been 18 years.
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My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
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Thank you so much my friend.
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Sending you lots of love today. No one should have to go through this. xxx
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Thank you so much my friend. You are right, no-one should ever have to go through this, sometimes life just isn’t fair.
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Sending you a big hug.
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Thank you so much.
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Sending love today and always. ❤
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Thank you so much. I adore your love today and always.
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I’m crying for you my friend. I wish I could see you in person so I could give you a big, bad-ass hug. Sending so much love to you today.
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Thank you so much my friend, I so appreciate your compassion and love. I would totally take you up on that big, bad-ass hug!
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Sending many hugs your way on this difficult day.
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Thank you so much for your hugs. I’ve made it through most of the day, and hoping the evening passes quickly and pleasantly.
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Bless you, I’ll be thinking of you on this difficult day. Lots of love xxx
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Thank you so much my friend. It is a difficult day that I dread in the weeks leading up to it, but I’m generally doing okay this year. 🙂
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Praying for you as you walk through this day. I can’t even imagine the pain/sorrow that comes with it. Lots of love and MANY MANY hugs!!! XO
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Thank you so much my friend. It’s funny, today is always hard, but I always find the anticipation of the day worse then the actual date. That said, I’ll be glad when tomorrow is here.
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So beautiful!!
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Thank you.
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Praying for you! xo
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Thank you so much.
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Sending you so much love. Your words are beautiful. They do sound pretty amazing and have left such an impact on you. I’m thinking that’s why you’re so special to us here.. I suspect they had a lot to do with it and still do. Hugs friend.
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Thank you so much A Calm Persistence. You are right, they were amazing and they did have a profound impact on me. I am thankful for every moment I had with them, and thank you for your kind words about them and me. I am so touched.
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❤ I meant every word. Hugs friend.
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Hugs ❤
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Thank you so much my friend.
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It is hard not having sister and mother around. Sending you strength!
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You are right, it is hard. Thank you so much my friend.
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Hun I am so sorry! Praying for you today!
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Thank you so much Caroline. I so appreciate your love and support.
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So sorry for your loss-how unimaginably difficult. Blessings and hugs to you especially today:)
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Thank you so much Meredith. Your comforting words mean the world to me.
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Thinking of you and sending you love!
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Thank you so much my friend.
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Big Hugs. I cry with you…
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Thank you so much my friend.
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