One Great Thing About Adoption
One of the greatest thing about choosing to grow our family through open adoption is the adoption community.
Months ago I wrote about how adoption is a lonely road. Some days it still feels that way. Some days it feels like no-one understands, and no-one gets it. No-one seems to think about how much this is costing us, or how complicated it is to manage the international adoption process. No-one seems too concerned about how our 5 miscarriages have scarred us. And, no-one seems to realize just how hard it is to actually make decisions related to substance abuse exposure and race. Those closest to us just don’t get it, and honestly, most don’t even try.
But, what’s really cool is now we are starting to find our way into our local adoption community.
We are attending adoption support groups, going to dinner with new friends who are also in the adoption process, hanging out with families who were created through adoption, and partaking in the excitement of new matches, etc. We are loving it!
We are building new friendships with people locally who understand and who are encouraging us with every single step we take. We are able to talk to people about how weird it is to fill out forms, and make hard decisions, and everyone just gets it.
And as an added bonus, we are finding ourselves meeting people in real life who have walked the infertility and miscarriage path before us and with us. Through our local adoption community, for the first time in-real-life we are meeting people who get the struggles we have gone through and talk about it openly.
And at the same time, I am also becoming more and more integrated into the world of adoption blogging. I am learning from others who have made it through the process and are actually living the open adoption life. I am receiving encouraging comments, messages and emails that make me smile and remind me to keep persevering through whatever the current challenge is.
So, while the adoption process can be frustrating at times, I am so thankful for all the new and wonderful friendships I am making.
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I’m glad you’ve found a great adoption support system! You shouldn’t have to go it alone and I know it helps to have support from others in a similar situation – those who “get it”.
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Thanks! It is a pretty awesome community now that I’m starting to get tied into it a bit better. 🙂
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I love that you’re connecting with others!
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Just like infertility and loss, it’s such a great thing to be surrounded by people who get it. 🙂
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Isn’t it refreshing to connect with people who understand? I am so happy for you that you have made friends through this process.
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It is so refreshing!! I am so grateful for all of the friends, you included, that I have made through this journey. 🙂
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I have a friend who adopted 2 boys. Brothers, or at least half brothers. Both with lots of issues, both adopted as little babies. She is struggling something really fierce there, and I can’t help but ask myself: does she ever regret…?
She has not much support, there is no groups where she lives, she is working mom, so can’t really spend much time online…
Life can be a struggle… So happy to read that it does not have to be that bad though…
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Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I’ve found the more I’m willing to reach out and search for people who understand, the more people I find. Not everyone is amazing, but those that are make the effort worth it. I hope you friend is able to find some support through her struggles.
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thank you. I am trying to give her as much support as I can, though I am sure I won`t be able to help her as well as another mother with adopted children would….
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Don’t sell yourself short – my most helpful friends are those that love us unconditionally even through our hard times. I’m sure she appreciates all you give her.
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Thanks 🙂 I am simply thinking that some heartfelt help is better than no help at all 🙂 So I make sure she knows I`m always ready to chat, whenever she has her cup overflowing or empty 🙂 I know her, and know that is the way she likes to keep it – not me bugging her every now and then (though I do it too, if she is silent too long 😉 )but just knowing I`m here 🙂
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I am so glad to hear this good news from you. 🙂 I’m happy that you are making connections and finding people who do understand and can offer support. ❤
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Good news and support are such blessings, eh? Life doesn’t always seem easy, but their are so many good things that we can easily overlook, so it’s nice to recognize the good people (like you) that are in my life. 🙂
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This will continue to be important even after you get your sweet child:) Being around people who get adoption or whose families look like mine are great not just for me but for my adopted children as well. One of my oldest son’s best friends is also adopted and they have a very special bond because they get each other. It’s a wonderful community to be part of, I hope you’ll be blessed by it as much as I have been:)
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Yes!! We’ve made a decision to make sure to build our friendships to include other families who are adopting so that our children will have friends who get it, just like we will have friends who get it. I believe it will make such a positive difference to our children as they deal with their own struggles. I’m so glad to hear that you eldest son has such a great friend and special bond! This is exactly what we hope to foster.
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I’m so happy that you’re meeting some people in the adoption community, who are also in your own community!! That’s so exciting, and I truly hope that they will be able to help you through some of the rough spots. I know this means a lot to you!!
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Thanks Amy! It’s great to be expanding our network of friends who can offer understanding and support. And thank you for being such an amazing friend! I am truly thankful for everything you are. 🙂
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Aww thank you! You’re pretty awesome yourself!
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I recall when we were looking into adoption that was the main bit of advice a friend who had adopted gave me- get involved with the community. Have as many contacts as you can. It will help both with the adoption (they may have connections) and afterwards (advice and friendship).
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